I have been sober over a yr now.I am now dealing with a up coming annivesry.George has been gone five yrs on the 22nd.This seems to be harder to handle now that Im sober.I dont know many who have gone through this.If any one has can you just drop me a hello in show of support.Thanks!!
Hi and gmtu ravineaqual, have just read your message and hope i can pass on my experiences to give you strength for today and the pending anniversary you have to deal with on the 22nd.
your not at all on your own, this end having been an alcoholic and addict for 33 years from the age of 13. being sober was a totally new thing to deal with. having to deal with my sober emotions was scary, frightening and at the time a thought mad insane thing to deal with. yet in reality i was mad and insane anyway, from the booze.
am so chuffed to read you are over a year sober, wonderful! keep at it, it brings back memories when i was sober for 1 year for the 1st time in 33 years. on the day i came home with cards and little presents from friends and opened the first card and just went totally to pieces crying over the wording, and went to bed duva diving, it took 5 days to open the others, i just could not except that i had achieved 1 year sober by myself, i didn’t like and hated all the wonderful things people where saying about myself. All i could see was what a nasty piece of work i had turned out to be. I CALL IT STINKING THINKING!
ravineaqual, i am not sure what anniversary you are having to deal with as you state you are over 1 year sober and only that he left coming upto 5 years! yet for me this end what ever the reason is for an anniversary of what ever nature! yes it brings lots of feelings and every time the feelings are differant, for example: this end, 7/11 brings up many issues, i was in a mental ward when the towers came down, i was at the start of my journey towards recovery, and just could not believe what i was seeing on the t.v. i had to be sedated as i truelly wanted to die, thinking why them not me?
well today, i am very wary of annivesarys and know people react in differant ways, for some it can trigger a slip, blip, relapse {or what ever you want to call it?} others just dont want to think of the event because of being unable to handle their emotional feelings, this is me! and just treat the day as another sober day, others, need to plan ahead put in a saftey net which i feel you are in the process of doing.
for me this end, i use to do so much stinking thinking, and i use the next phrase as a tool and not meant to be offensive, My head was stuck up my back side for to many years, which was a lonely dark and smelly place to be! Well, with hard work and support my head slowly came out into the real world.
It seems, you are in the real world seeking advize and support, being very aware of the 22nd coming up, well done, maybe the above has helped and maybe look back to where you where a year ago, although sober! i am sure you are far more aware and wiser of the horrendous afflication, we all have to deal with for the rest of our lives.
try to keep it totally simple for the day and put in place what ever support you feel you need to keep you safe, we all know that picking up the bottle is not the answer, far from it! for me this end it helps me to think what a waste of all the hard work i and others have put in towards my own recovery if i had a drink.
Hope this helps? LEARN FROM YESTERDAY… LIVE FOR TODAY… HOPE FOR TOMORROW.
prawney.
MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU ,I LOST MY WIFE ,LOV OF MY LIFE FROM CANCER ,IT WILL BE 6 YEARS 4-12 ,IVE HAV 27 YEARS OF BEING SOBER ,YOUR GOING TO GO THROU WHAT EVER YOU GO THOU ,JUST ASK FOR HELP ,LOSING SOMEONE CAN FEEL LIKE YOUR SO HURT OR GOING INSANE ECT… GETTING SOBER CAN FEEL THE SAME ,JUST GOT TO ASK FOR HELP ,YOUVE BEEN THOU SO MUCH ,DONT DO IT ALONE ,YOUR ARE A BEUITIFUL GIRL WITH BEUITIFUL KIDS AND ITS YOUR RIGHT TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY AND YOUR CHILDREN ,YOU NEED TO SEEK OUT AND YOU DESERVE TO SEEK OUT FOR YOURSELF HELP FROM POSSITIVE PEOPLE ,COUNSLERS ,MINISTERS ,WHAT EVER IT TAKES FOR YOUR NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS WHERE YOUR AT NO MATTER WHAT YOUR GOING THROU ,YOUR NOT CRAZY ,YOUVE BEEN THOU ALOT ,EMOTIONS ,LOVE, ARE VERY POWERFUL SOMETIMES OVER WHELMING ,ITS OK TO CRY,SCREAM,KICK,GET ANGRY,WHAT EVER COMES OUT ,JUST NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS ,I HAD FIGHTS WITH GOD IN SO MANY WAYS YOU WONT BELIEVE ,ANGRY, MAD, SAD ,IM NOT MOVIN TILL YOU GIV ME AND ANSWER ,KNOCK DOWN SCREAMIN FIGHTS WITH GOD FOR HOURS AT A TIME REALLY PISSED OFF ,IT ALL PASSED ,I STILL REMEMBER ,AND SOMETIMES EFFECTS ME ,I JUST DEAL WITH IT THE WAY I DO ,IF YOU NEED TO TALK DROP ME AN EMAIL LUV ,HUGS DAN
Danny,
Thank you for your kind concern. Life can be difficult, but lately things have been going my way. The dogwalking can be problematic in winter. In fact, I slipped on the ice walking my dog on New Years Eve and cracked open my head. What a trip that was. Had to call a client/friend to cart me to emergency. Hopefully, by next winter, I will have another indoor job near home (I have an interview at a video store walking distance) next Tuesday. Wish me luck!! Fran
----- Original Message ----
From: DANNYC0404 alcoholism-cpt5847@lists.careplace.com
To: franxx@sbcglobal.net
Sent: Saturday, April 5, 2008 1:46:45 PM
Subject: Re: [alcoholism] suicide
Hi,
A couple of things you,ve sent out made it to my mailbox. Don’t really know
your story, but I thought you said 4 yrs. plus!! I just wanted to encourage
you…day-by-day!!
I’m 10 yrs and still recovering…good luck Randy
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Yep 4+ years and still sober!!! I think I was responding to a post that you put out??? anyway I am Mrs Barb/aka-Barb 
Nice to meet you Keep up the good/great work 10+ recovering Sending you lots of Hugs, Barb
From: Louie alcoholism-cpt5847@lists.careplace.com
Date: 2008/04/21 Mon PM 05:05:58 CDT
To: msboosting@windstream.net
Subject: Re: [alcoholism] suicide