Im struggling right now to write this post with some sort of tact. I thought this was a support group for people with “blepharophimosis” but to me it seems like surgery is what is being supported…
I would never dream of having surgery. What would i tell my child, when it was born, with eyes like me? How could i justify it, and tell him or her that she is beautiful, except one thing, which surgery could “fix”? How could i make him face the world alone, if i had went through surgery to get ‘normal’ eyes? The child would come out with a perception innately that something was wrong with him. Why else would mom have changed herself, if there wasnt a problem?
I hear of kids going through 3 or 4 surgeries. I dont know if non affected parents have a complete understanding of just how…disturbing this is.
In my family, people have had eyes like mine since before my great grandmother. I cant imagine what it would be like for two parents without the eyes to have a kid with the eyes. They must feel estranged, upset, scared, i dont know.
But out of the bottom of my heart i would urge every single parent who ever has a child with the eyes to think about what they are doing.
I grew up with family, constantly telling me i was beautiful, that there was nothing wrong with me and i had as much right to be on the earth as anyone else. I dont know what it would be like to be alone, never seeing a family member with eyes like yours, and then to have your parents show you in the direction of surgery.
My eyes dont give me a huge vision problem, i dont even have ANY vision problems. So for an unaffected parent to give their child surgery at the age of 3 or 5 or something just really really upsets me. I was taught love and acceptance of peoples differences.
I have been mocked, ridiculed and degraded my entire life by people who dont understand because of my eyes. But at the same time, i would never get surgery to fix my outside appearance. It wont change my genes.
Fuck being normal. Seriously. The people who hold my company love and accept me for who I am. Ive waded through the callous assholes, and the friends i have now are true friends. A little bit of extra skin around my eyes doesnt change the way they feel about me. Sometimes i thank god i was born this way. Now i know people love me for me instead of strictly my appearance.
This post is huge and rather unorganized…but we aren’t diseased, people. We have extra skin on our eyelids, and some of us have vision restrictions. We have all of our limbs. We can talk, be articulate, create things…Any time i feel bad about my eyes i just think about people confined to wheel chairs, people who cant take care of themselves or who have mental disabilities.
Do people put their children through surgery saying they want to make their children feel better about themselves???
I didnt even know my eyes were any different than anyone elses till i was about 5, and even then it was a tentative understanding that i was different.
I think maybe its the parents who feel uncomfortable. Maybe they want to make themselves feel better about the way their child looks, and not vice versa.
Im not trying to attack anyone personally, and if you want to call me an asshole, or hate my words, please feel free. But i will tell you that i live this everyday.
My cousin went to go have corrective surgery on her eyes. The only one in our entire family out of three generations. The doctors messed up the operation and now she has limited function of one eye. You tell me what is better.
Im really upset about this ‘support’ group. Im upset that i even found it. I thought i would be able to share experiences with people like me. I didnt know that i would find people like me, going through surgery, so they wouldnt be like me.