Thanks and hello

Narcissistic personality disorder
#1

Just wanted to say hello and how helpful its been for me reading from people whove been thro similar experiences to me. Its ok to talk to friends, maybe they understand to a degree, but its better when its someone who understands how it FEELS to go thro this pain…

Im writing my story to add soon , maybe no one will read it but its helping me to write it down. Of course its impossible to write everything but at least its part of what happened to me…and hopefully cathartic to let it out…

Im not even sure if my friend has a NPD but somethings wrong… and I turned from a very confident, trusting person to one with very little self esteem and almost paranoid at times.

But Im not gonna let it destroy me…

…the only contact we have now is what I make…but I dont want to let him forget me.I want him to see how I can live and be happy without him being a big part of it anymore.

Ive been so sad for the longest time with how things have worked out…cried many tears but you know I was happy before him and its his choice to not be a big part of my life anymore. Its time to stop crying and apricate again what Ive always had.

Sometimes life doesnt work out how wed chose but we have to make the best of it…

HUGS to all whove been affected by a N

#2

lonelyplace, sorry you had to go through that, if you got down that bad, you probably met an N. They can sure do a number on your head. Thanks for the post and the encourangement that you can come back from it, some times you don’t think you will, but you have shown us you can and you are on your way again. Good job showing him you can be happy with out him. Post your story, it can help someone else. I went looking in the middle of night desperate to find someone who knew how I felt, I read a strangers words that knew exactly how I felt , her words meant more to me than she will ever know, I was not insane or alone. The site was no longer active so I could not even thank her. My journey began to finding myself and healing right then. You do know the red flags to watch out for now, you don’t want to do that again. Hugs mamolie

#3

Thanks for that Mamolie ! HUGS I find your story really sad that youve had so many years with your N :frowning:

At the moment Im feeling positive and strong but Ive no doubt Ill have my bad times and Ill doubt everything again…and wanna blame me for it all…

I guess its one step at a time really…I still think about him too much really but Im trying not to dwell on the hopelessness of it all or the unfairness or craziness…I become much too sad if I go down that path…its so sad its become like this…the wonderful friend I thought Id found…but this is how it is and I cant change it I can only go on living and rebuilding ME…

HUGS

#4

I agree with Lucia - it IS so sad that they will never have what they seek. They are like huge pots - water is pouring in like crazy - but they won’t/can’t fix the hole at the bottom. Mine was truly so happy, childlike, excited, animated etc. etc. at the beginning - who knows why - I personally believe that in the early days of idealization, they might really believe they have found the “right” one and these expressions/feelings are as close as they will ever come to real love. The sad challenge that we all know, is that it won’t stay that way for them. I do feel sad for him - and all of “them”, really. I know how lonely, disillusioned, empty, and deeply sad I feel right now - but, I know that I will get over it and move on. They won’t. I still truly wish mine would suddenly have a break through and we’d be fine, but I recognize that as magical thinking and I never did buy into the whole tooth fairy thing either.

#5

Hi; Everybody

I would just like to reiterate the same thoughts and feelings that I have had over the last several months since I let this person into my life. I have felt so infatuated in a platonic sense and at the same time hurt or felt used because of the actions of this person. Will write more about my story but I can relate with this whole group, especially your topic.

                                       Thank You
                                            Chuck
#6

Hi lonely place. i totally understand where you are coming from. I went from being a totally successful, confident woman to a paranoid neurotic person who was obsessing from morning til night over someone incapable of giving or receiving love. Totally frustrating!

But there is hope in learning about this dreadful disorder and understanding how the person that you loved is an illusion, even to himself. He doesn’t know who he is and/or what he wants regarding love. He may well be successful in all other areas of his life, but in the most intimate and ultimately the most important aspect, that of LOVE, he has no clue. It is not his fault. He never felt love as a child and therefore cannot recognize it as an adult. Sad, oh, so sad.

i understand your pain and sympathize with you. you are doing the right thing to keep your distance. That is the smart thing to do. Best of luck to you. keep your head up high and remember, “that which does not destroy us, only serves to make us stronger.”