Tired of being SICK!

Bipolar
#1

I’m SOOOOOOOOOOO tired of feeling like crap!!! I’ve had a headache off and on for over 2 months… My body is killing me ! I’m so depressed all I want to do is sleep and that doesn’t work either… Lay on one side and it hurts… Turn over and then that side hurts…

I’m not enjoying summer at all !!! Went to the Pdoc last week and she gave me a new med for my panic disorder and that chit is nooooooooooo good …Only took 3 of those things and said forget it.

I’m tired of being tired and taking pills pills and more pills… All my money goes toward meds and nothing extra for anything fun…

My insurance keeps raising my deductibles !!! I’m just fed up… Sorry but needed to vent

Diana

#2

Itty ~ I hear you! Unfortunately you are not alone. I can remember when the kids were younger we would take them to the amusement park and we would enjoy ourselves on the rollercoasters, now my days are filled with the rollercoaster ride of cycling. I’M TIRED TOO! And I’m tired of people who don’t understand telling me to suck it up and get over it. HELLO DO ANY OF US CHOOSE TO BE LIKE THIS??? I want a life!

So what can we do??? Suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Hang in there, my thoughts are with you.

~Debby

#3

Hi all “TIRED OF BEING SICK”, I joined that club years ago, no doubt you did too. After reading the posts on this I read them to my partner as they are exactly how I feel. I totally relate, understand and me too sick of being sick, sick of taking pills that don’t work, and spending money on them and all I want to do is sleep so I can be at peace and half the time i cant do that either. Rollercoaster city is where i’m at, it’s winter here in aus and that makes things so much worse. cant get out of bed and when I do all I want to do is get back in it. No motivation, then hello, out of the blue I am off my head, talking, talking, talking, laughing, going up up up and it’s night time and time for bed, sleep I don’t think so, give me a drink and the phone and I will find someone who is still up to chat away too. The timing is all wrong. This world is all wrong, Bipolar is wrong. Why I ask, why me, thank goodness for this site as it makes me realise that I am not the only one that has this “disorder” or feeling like I do. And to all of you, it’s OK to be sick, it’s just the rest of the world that has to come to terms with it. Take care to all out there on the bipolar journey, just wait till tomorrow things could be totally different (more than likely), as we know it’s never the same, I honestly don’t know how we do it, pat ourselves on the back for still being here and fighting through… thanks for the chat, Kazbar

#4

I’m sorry that other have to go through the same thing… Wish a had a magic wand to make it all go away…

I think that if I look hard enough there should be a easier way to go through life…

I know when I was a little girl my grandma had to have been bipolar because she was just as wacked out as I am … Only difference was thet didn’t have all these damn pills and she stayed drunk all the time. Needless to say she drank herself to death at the age of 54 …

So I know that isn’t the answer!

    Diana
#5

iam sick of feelin crap as well iam glad you put what you put i detest this illness at time it makes me vunerable unsocialble and intolerant and your right drinking isnt the answer, i dont know wether self medication works at all! - fizzy

#6

Hi Ladies,

I read this and had to respond. I’ve been feeling like manure all week. I can’t make decisions at work or at home. Just want to sleep. I’ve been going to bed early everynight and still feel exhausted. It stinks 'cause even when I’m feeling good, I kinda feel bad. I never quite know where the bipolar crap creeps in, it is sneaky. The meds never quite take the swings away, they just take the edge off of them. Some weeks I feel good and lucky, other weeks, like this I just want to take a break from my life. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all take mental vacations? I’d love to have holiday in a normal person’s brain for a week. Of course then I would never leave, and would have to apply for the normal brain visa. If only…

#7

i hear that and second… (sixth?) it! i want to feel good enough to go back to work without panicking… see my friends without giant anxiety, and enjoy going outside in the warmth without my meds making me feel sick!

#8

I certainly do not want to brag or anything like that, but I was diagnosed as being bi-polar while in the hospital psyche ward in April of 2000. I am now 55 years old, spent close to 35 years of my life on hard drugs and pot until three psychiatrists diagnosed me. So I feel for you guys and gals about how shitty you feel most of the time. I was the same way with the severe mood swings and everything else that comes with this strange disorder, but I have a real good psychiatrist who at first, back in 2000 had me so medicated there was no way possible to live a somewhat normal life.
I told him that I think it is the amount of Epival he prescribed that was slowing me down to the point of wanting to sleep and sleep and sleep.
Thank God he is a Doctor who believes that the less amount of medication needed for a patient is best because once he lowered it to 250mg twice a day with Efecsor (novo-venlqfqxine) 150mg and a 75mg.
I also take one 5mg vallium once a day, 100mg of Derseryl (Trazodone) at bedtime along with 2.5mg of Zyprexa at bedtime.
I am also on daily dose of 110mg of Methadone.
I have been on and off methadone for over 20 years. The withdrawal of methadone is so bad and so long that very few addicts ever get off of it.
In my case I have damaged the receptors that make endorphines. I was in withdrawal for 4 months when I got fed up and went to my family Doctor only to be told I will have to stay on Methadone for the rest of my life.

To end this post I can tell you I feel pretty good considering what I’ve been through with the drugs. I was trying to find a place in my head where I felt comfortable because all bi-polar people feel like they do not “fit in” even around family members.
But now I am armed with the knowledge of having this strange disorder and all I can do is live with it and I do my best to feel good about myself and try to wear a smile as often as I can. I do hope you guys and gals find some peace in your heads and try not to worry so much.

#9

I can so relate to what you are all saying that feeling of just wanting to stay in bed. for those of you who know my story (I lost my home when psychotic and ended up on the streets) I am going to look at an house today and I am so scared, scared of living alone, scared of not being able to cope. I feel like my life is over I just feel lousy all the time.

#10

have some one go with you to look at your house and grab the help that gotta be there, iam still in the thick fog and id love a holiday from bi-polar then again bi-polar would send me a postcard!!!

#11

Hi to all, “Emptysoul” how did the house thing go… Hoping you took Fizzy’s advice and went along with someone just to make you feel a little bit more secure about the whole adventure. I had been in and out of a psych hospital for over 4 years, spending more time in than out and eventually got the guts up to go and get a unit/house of my own - to rent that is. I was shit scared too, how was I going to do it, and how was I going to cope, what if I ended up being psychotic all the time and spent all my money on rent, whilst being crazy following around non existent people in a psych ward, bla, bla, bla. I did it! I lived there for 18 months on my own, I made lots of friends in the neighbourhood, some good, some bad, but in the end I belonged somewhere, people looked out for me and I survived. The message here my friend is that it can work out, just you wait and see. Anyway, please send a post to let us know! I am going on a holiday in 2 weeks and unfortunately bipolar is coming with me at this stage. I don’t really know how my partner is going to cope as I have been on the biggest rollercoaster, and he will be spending 4 whole days with me and my mate. It will be interesting for him to actually experience the rollercoaster, for a whole day, little alone 4, I’m sure it won’t get boring for anyone involved. Hiydi Ho… Kazbar

#12

Went to see the house it was not suitable. Going to see another one on Monday evening so fingers crossed. I just so want to feel ‘right’ again!