Sunday night I had a total meltdown. I did something mean to my husband out of total frustration and then felt so guilty I cried for an hour. He had shred a paper than I still wanted, and without a thought I grabbed something and shred it too. totally unlike me. I don’t do things like that. I was so shocked that I could/ would do something like that . I couldn’t believe that meaness like that was inside me. He was very angry of course. So I went out in the garage and sat in my car and cried for an hour.
Im sorry but this bp stuff isn’t getting any better. All I do is see the pdoc and he tweaks the meds again again and once again and it doesn’t help. It wouldn’t take much to get me bawling again. I tried to make an appt. with a regular dr today and almost cried bcs she isn’t taking new patients. She will be surprised when she gets my lab results. my pdoc ordered thyroid tests bcs my heart is beating so fast.
Yes, I hold on for my family. That’s what keep me going everyday, but God it’s tough. This isn’t getting any easier. I don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.