Trouble coping

I recently found out through fertility testing that my husband had “no significant semen present” in a semen sample sent in for analysis after a year of tryng to achieve pregnancy. This is a very serious problem and often means that a man can not have biological children (except through new hi tech procedures that may or may not be an option for us). I have respected his privacy by not telling any friends, etc. about these test results, but he does not want to talk about it and I am having trouble coping. I can’t seem to get anyhting done or sleep at night. This should not be the end of the world, but it feels like it is. Does anyone have any suggestion?

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Check out RESOLVE.  You can find them at www.resolve.org

Depending on where you live you can even see if they have a local chapter to help you.

High tech treatments for low sperm count are not always that expensive.  Don't panic yet.  Donor sperm is an option also if there is really no sperm.  You need to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist.  You can find a list of clinics and other help also at www.fertilitylifelines.com

Hope that helps....


From:  Mil
Reply-To:  infertility-cpt2916@lists.careplace.com
To:  mary3759@hotmail.com
Subject:  [infertility] trouble coping
Date:  Tue, 1 May 2007 02:32:41 -0400
>

Hi Mil,

You didn't mention how long ago you got this information or whether you've followed up with a urologist yet. Here are a few points off the top of my head:

Men take a big hit on their ego when they're told their sperm count is less than perfect. Imagine being told you might *never* be able to father a child. That's pretty heavy and it makes perfect sense for it to take a while to let it sink in and decide how to handle it.

Don't base anything on a single semen analysis. It's likely that there really is a problem, but don't see it as definite until he's had another test about 3 months after the first test, after abstaining for several days.

See a urologist. Your husband should be checked to see if there's varicocele. I believe this is done by examination and maybe with use of ultrasound. Varicocele is solved relatively simply, so if that's the problem, you definitely want to know about it.

Find out what the exact data is - count, motility, forms, etc. Your RE should be able to tell you what your options are - IUI, IVF, IVF with ICSI, etc. Sperm donation may come up as an option in the future, but don't start assuming that that is your only option.

For something to do immediately, your husband can start taking a multivitamin with lycopene. It is said to improve sperm count within a few months. I know of many couples who had better fertilization rates with IVF after using it. It's low tech & harmless, so it's worth a try... (Medical research DOES support use of lycopene for helping in cases of male factor infertility).

Be supportive of your husband. He's going through a difficult time now. Make sure to show him (not just to tell him) how important and special he is to you and how much you want to be with him. I know it can be hard to let a few months go by and know that you're not moving things forward, but in the long run, it may do a lot of good for your relationship.

All my best,Rachel - see my story at www.fertilitystories.com

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