Waiting for the fall

Anxiety
#1

Do you ever have periods in your life where everything is just peachy?

Almost too good for too long a time that you start to worry, and wonder when the next personal setback, next panic attack ,family tragedy, or financial blow up will come?

Don’t get me wrong, my life is in no way perfect. I’ve been up since 4 am this morning and am crazy tired. But overall my life isn’t half bad lately. Money hasn’t been as tight, work is cruising along,spring fever is refreshing, etc.

But, My anxiety has been constant, no breaks what so ever for the past 3 weeks.

… My anxiety used to come and go in waves. When it’s around it can be constant, everyday, and then fade away for a couple of weeks. And I feel that I am NO where near a recession, where I don’t have to deal with it as often as I used to.

I am not naive to think it won’t ever hit me again really hard.

However, deep in the back of my head I am worried about what is going to burst this peaceful bubble. I know something has to be on the horizon and I don’t want it to come.

I know it has to eventually. Life has to have opposition in all things. If we never felt sadness we wouldn’t appreciate the times we are happy. If we were never sick it would be harder to be grateful for our good health. It is through opposition and adversity that we become stronger, deeper, and wiser individuals.

I should enjoy this time while I can; it really does me no good to worry about something that hasn’t even happened yet. Although worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet is my thing, its what I do. And therein lies one of the biggest adversities in my life.
Jade

#2

thank you Diane ~

#3

Wishing you sunshine and blue skies ~

#4

Well this is what i think about things comeing into our lives maybe its bad maybe its good,but i can never seem to stop whatever is going to happen eather way.I just have to deal with it when it does happen and it can feel like something that is scary and you try your best that you can to get over it.But if you know that you cannot die from it,it makes it a little easyer.I have been getting panic attacks for 5 years now and i have read alot about it and how to cope with them.Plus i had to try differant meds to find the right one to deal with it,which i have.It can get very tireing but you need to just keep going or it can get worse.I have a son who is scizoprenic and bipolar,and is on meds.He also has his good and bad days but pushes foward and seems to be healing mentally.So we live each day at a time and TRUST in our prayers to our Lord to heal us and get us thru the day.Good luck to you…Love Diane

#5

I worry about alot of things:if my heart is gonna stop,if i will go crazy,i check out things about myself that are not nessesry but i do and alot .I guess you call it OCD and i beleve its a bi-product of anxiety and its side effects.worry is my way of checking up on myself to make me feel better.Sometimes it helps and other times it just sets me off if i find or feel something is not right.So i try to control those behavers and its not eazy! I have been reading a book called The Anxiety & Phobia workbook,4th edition,by:Edmund J.Bourne,PH.D,and it has helped me to cope alot better.check it out sometime…Diane

Jade anxiety-cpt8974@lists.careplace.com wrote:

#6

I read this today …" Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow. It only saps today of its joy "
Leo Buscaglia,
American writer

So true !!

Simply telling myself to stop worrying has never worked. Worry, which often masquerades as concern, is a comfort zone for many of us, and I am one of them. Like the weather, it gives us something to talk about and like a task at hand, it gives us something to do.

As Maxine, the character says "Well aren’t we the big black hole of need today ?"
Long ago I used to be upbeat and positive … And, over the past 4 years I have misplaced that part of me, my motto used to be ; Life is for living, not worrying.
Worrying is one of my weak features “They say you can learn a new habit in 21 days” , I believe it.

#7

Without rhyme or reason, my body / mind at times betrays me. Its been one of those weeks.

One of the things about Spring that I love is the energy and propulsion towards making change.

Thank’s for replying to this thread … Its always better to walk hand in hand …

#8

I will always be here Jade…Diane

#9

Yes," it’s so much friendlier with two, said Pooh to Piglet who was quiet nervous about all this wishy washy water they were in…"

Or on a more adult level (one I rarely travel, giggle)

“A good friend is one who will come and bail you out of jail at midnight, but a GREAT friend will be sitting next to you saying
’Damn that was Fun’”

WAITING FOR THE THUMP
yes, Jade, it can drive me cra-zee for sure, not knowing is the WORST my anxiety and worry can conjure all kinds of horrors. I can spend hours thinking of solutions to situation X which hasn’t and actually doesn’t end up happening… Only a few (try ONE) person can talk me out of that black storm. SO SWEET" Sweet Child of Mine" mmmmmm… an music usually…

So I do know what you are talking about. I am now working on NO ANTICIPATORY NEGATIVE FEELINGS though neutral feelings are allowed. this is my burden now, finding the way
AWAY from negativity without being false or fake to my true feelings. Being there for others without forsaking self.

BIG PLATE ~ little girl
OOOppps, an angel heard a negative thought…
“I am STRONG, I AM INVINCIBLE… I AM…”.???

#10

River,

We are friends and I do like to pass the day with you in serious and unconsequential chatter. :)

Sometimes we put walls up, not to keep our friends out , but, to see who care's enuf to break 'em down.

I feel I am surfing the great swirlie of life. Round and round and round I go. Its a difficult balance and a challenging job. Its diamond hard. Confess. I need to take a day for myself. lol

Ah ~ sigh. Complications. The bane of my existence.

Ok.. I'm taking a deep breath. But in the recesses of my mind.. I'm kicking ass. Deep breath. Snicker. Better than therapy, every bloody time!! Take two

#11

I HAVE THE OPPOSITE. WHEN I AM NOT STRESSED I MAKE MYSELF STRESSED BECAUSE I AM SO USE TO THINGS GOING WRONG THAT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE BEING HAPPY. NOT A DAY GOES BY WHEN I AM NOT STRESSED. I PROBABLY COULD BE A VERY HAPPY PERSON. I HAVE ALOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO ENJOY WHAT I HAVE. ALL THE MEDS IN THE WORLD IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE IT. I KNOW I HAVE TO CHANGE BUT I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START. EXAMPLE KENTUCKY DERBY. WENT TO A PARTY. WE ARE ALL BIG RACE HORSE FANS. MY HORSE WON. I WON $200.00 BUT THE SECOND PLACE HORSE HAD TO BE PUT TO SLEEP. I CRIED. I FELT SO BAD CAUSE I WON AND THIS POOR HORSE DIED. HAVEN’T BEEN OUT MUCH CAUSE I HAVE A BROKEN FOOT AND ANKLE AND THEN WHEN I GO OUT TO TRY TO HAVE A GOOD TIME IT ENDS UP LIKE THIS. BUT LIKE I SAID IT IS WHAT IT IS AND I HAVE TO START TAKING MY OWN ADVICE.

#12

Jade every body wonders that from time to time but try to enjoy the quiet while it still quiet

#13

Dreen,i know how you feel about the stress day in and day out! there always seems to be something that i worry about.I would love to have a whole nights sleep,a day without worrying about myself or others,its in my heart i guess,and deep in my mind,can i just pull out the nagitive part of my thinking?guess not,but i DO DEAL WITH IT and iam glad i can.I just will not give up!Like i said one day; i live each day at a time and pray alot. take care…Love Diane

#14

DIANE I TRY. I DON’T SLEEP THRU THE NIGHT EITHER. SOMETIMES I WAKE UP AT 1AM AND I AM WIDE AWAKE. OH DO I HATE THAT LOL. THEN MY MIND WONDERS FROM A TO Z OF WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE AND WHAT I SHOULD DO. WHAT I HAVEN’T DONE WHICH MAKES ME MAD AT MYSELF. NEXT THING I KNOW I FINALLY FALL BACK TO SLEEP THEN MY DOG SANTANA WANTS TO GET UP AT 5:30AM FOR HIS SEMI WALK. I THINK HALF THE TIME I AM WALKING IN MY SLEEP WHEN I WALK HIM. THEN I GO BACK TO SLEEP TILL 10AM. THEN I FEEL LIKE THE MORNING IS ALREADY GONE AND I HAVE TO RUN AROUND TO TRY TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING IN MY APARTMENT THAT I SAID I WAS GOING TO DO. IT IS A CYCLE. I AM ON DISABILITY AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS WORSE STAYING HOME EVERYDAY OR HAVING TO DEAL WITH A JOB I CAN’T STAND. BUT I KNOW I AM FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF FOR NO REASON AT ALL AND THAT MAKES ME ANGRIER. SO I AM EITHER STRESSED OR ANGRY. LIKE YOU SAID NOT TO GIVE UP. IT COULD BE ALOT WORSE.