I have now gotten a sponser. I hade my first melt down lastnight and i did the same tonight. I feel like all i have done lately was cry.But i have really done some thinking on why i do the things i do. Like i don’t let people get close to me on a personal level. Why i am not out going and why i have basically hidden myself from others. I am a scared, more terrified person. I fear rejection by others. I fear letting others get close to me because i don’t want to get hurt. I fear having to act my age at times because i am scared to “grow up” I had to grow up at such a young age and i don’t ant to do it anymore. I have learned i am scared. I am scared to see life on lifes terms with out being under the influence of something. I have been running from life for a long time because i am scared. But now that i know this i can work on it. But right now i am scared shitless.(haha) It feels good to know why i have done some of the things i have done. as for changing it i am still wanting to know that myself.
~ashley~
Invictus?!