My sister just found out that her baby has anencephaly. She is five months along and her doctors want to induce her relatively soon. I have no idea how to help her through this terrible time. If anyone has any suggestions or anecdotes of what people have done to help them, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you to all who are willing to share their advice and stories.
I’m in the same boat as your sister and am 5 months along too. I wish I could help you but I don’t even know how to help myself right now- if she’s willing, could you have her contact me- this process is so unbearable and a living nightmare… 
I just lost my son at the fifth month. Just be there for her. Time heals. Famiy and friends are important. make sure she asks the doctors any questions about the baby. and most of all make sure the hospital that she will be having the procedure done on does not put her near other mothers having healthy babies. She should have her care in an out patient surgical floor and recovery floor. Not in OB.
Thank you for your advice. I greatly appreciate it. My prayers are
with your family as you heal as well.
----- Original Message -----
From: bridgy anencephaly-cpt9543@lists.careplace.com
Date: Tuesday, July 8, 2008 9:44 pm
Subject: Re: [anencephaly] What can I do?
To: cglockne@kent.edu
I am sorry i didn’t get back to you sooner. My sister induced and then
three days later her husband started having seizures–still not sure of
the cause. Two weeks later my other sister gave birth to her healthy
baby girl. If you would still be interested in talking to my sister I
would be more than willing to put you two in contact. Maybe you can
help each other heal and quell that feeling of loneliness and isolation
that I cannot seem to help her with.
----- Original Message -----
From: BabyboyMama anencephaly-cpt9543@lists.careplace.com
Date: Sunday, June 29, 2008 3:10 pm
Subject: Re: [anencephaly] What can I do?
To: cglockne@kent.edu
I had a little girl 29 years ago, and she had anencephaly. She lived for 3 1/2 hours.
I can only tell you what I did and how I felt. Back in 1979 I was told that I should not see my little girl, and not hold her, but just let her go. Believe me, this is not what you want to do. I have joined other groups, like, “anencephalyblessingsfromabove”, and all of the ladies have chosen to carry their little babies to term. The babies are born and are held and loved until they die. They place a little hat on the baby and they look so perfect. Some live for a few minutes, some for a few hours, and a few have lived for a few days. One lady had a little girl that lived about three weeks.
I thought if I never saw “Courtney” that I would just forget, but I never did. I think of her everyday and it has been 29 years. The hospital cremated her and “disposed” of her ashes. I don’t even have a place to go to be near her.
It has been 29 years and I still think of her everyday.
I didn’t know she had anencephaly, until I went into labor. She was a month overdue, due April 19th and came on May 18th. I remember her little feet poking me and her kicking me when I would sit down and slump.
All of the ladies in the group have chosen to carry their babies to term and then love them for the time they are on this earth. They can be heart valve donars and there are certain other tissues that they can use for other sick children.
They are incompatible with life, but while they are alive on this earth, they are alive.
There are photographers that will come in and take pictures, really neat pictures, with your little angel holding your wedding bands on their toes or other photos that you will hold dear to your heart, once your little one has passed.
If you want to talk to others who have carried their babies to term, please check out anencephalyblessingsfromabove
Bless you all,
Karen A.
I hope I’m not too late to respond to your entry. My sister was with me my first night in the hospital and most of the next day. She brought everything from home that she could think of, with the exception of the kitchen sink. She though of every little thing I would need from a soft blanket to hand lotion and a travel sized toothbrush. She bought my sock monkey slippers. She over did it because she really didn’t know what to do/say. Just her being there and thinking of every possible thing I could have ever needed was such a relief. I know it might sound simplistic but she took care of every conceivable need I might encounter and it made me feel so much better because I was scared witless. I still have the slippers and they are quirky just like my sister and our wonderful relationship.