What sill your friends react when they see it?

Beckers Nevus
#1

I am now 19 and live with it when I was 10,it’s on my lesf shoulder and upper back…it is as big as two hands.
When I was in primary school,on that age I don’t really care about it,I remember that my nevus has been revealed in a few occasions,when my friends saw it,they just feel strange and asked what it is and I do explained what it is.

But as I grown in teenage,since I start my middle school life,I haven’t revealed my nevus anymore,so almost all my friends does not know I have it.This feels uncomfortable since like keeping a secret.I believe I should face this thing bravely is the one way to live in healthy life.

Dose any people older enough here have large group friends who know you have becker’s nevus or some experience offer?

#2

when I was first dating my girlfriend (now my wife of 20 years), when we first went to bed together, I had to keep my shirt on, as I was embarrased, but didnt tell her why. I revealed the hidden body eventually, and she said why did I hide it... she loved me for who I was!

My right arm is 60% darker brown than my left, so to work colleagues (I live in england) I say its my arm on the window side of the car. All my close firnds I grew up with know I'm a bit different, but it doesnt come up in conversation with them , or their teenage children (tho i guess the ask why I look a bit out of balance. Now I dont care, at 47 years old, I people dont like it,... look away !!

#3

I’ve had BN since I was a teen and I’m now in my mid 30’s. Honestly, I don’t think there will be a cure in my life time. It’s not life threatening and because of that, I can’t see anyone dumping a lot of money into research on a cure.

When I was younger I guess I was kind of shy about it but honestly, not much. However, as I have stated in earlier posts…mine is hidden (kinda on my left ass/hip).

What will your friends think when you show them or tell them?
I am not old nor wise. However, this does remind me of a semi-related saying. Never explain–your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you. In other words, if they are your friends, they will be your friends no matter what is going on with you. If you show or tell one of your ‘friends’ about your BN and they stop talking to you…they were not your friend to start with. I have never had that happen to me btw.

People are not so different, put yourself in your friends place. If they were to tell you that they were stricken with some disease would you stop being their friend? I don’t think so, that is not what friends do. Having a friend with BN is not an issue. Now…try having a cheapskate friend who doesn’t pay their half of a bill or a friend that always borrows money or a friend that only calls you when they need something…no kidding, I have friends like these. Yet, I accept them for who they are. What would you rather hear from your friend? That he/she has BN or that they need to borrow 600 bux (again!)?

All I’m saying is give your friends some credit. If it’s something they’ve never seen before, sure, they’ll need time to check it out. Beyond that tho, I doubt a real friend would see it as a huge issue. Start with not making it out to be a big issue tho. If it looks like it really bothers you, people tend to pick up on that. And… in the face of uncertainty, may just mirror your attitude toward it.

I think BN will always be a burden to a persons self esteem. However, as you get older I think you will come to see that it’s literally just skin deep.

I think most teenage guys will find that contrary to what they (are making themselves) think, it will NOT affect your social/dating life (and/or…ahem…s*x life). If you think it will or is…think very carefully about how much it bothers you versus how much it’s bothering other people. It’s like that pimple on your face that you keep staring at. Most other people can’t see it or don’t care. However, if you keep staring at it…you’ll swear it’s doubling in size every hour and nobody will ever talk to you again. So you won’t look others in the eye and act different than your true personality.

Sorry so long and a bit off topic.
As always, this is just my opinion, your millage my vary.

Lee

#4

i’m 31 and the majority of my close friends have seen my bn

we play 5 a side football every week and i always take a shower-i have to admit i was a bit wary at first but now i don’t even think about it

if i’m going topless for the first time in front of someone i don’t try to hide it-out of awkardness most people don’t say anything anyway and if they do i just say it’s the way i’am(though i’ll be able to explain it fully now,having just learnt about bn)

if i’m being truthful i think being male helps a lot

#5

hi bobbymo,you’ve provided a helpful advise for me
how about the opposite sex,what’s they respon?is it difficult to accept?

#6

“how about the opposite sex,what’s they respon?is it difficult to accept?”

as lee pointed out i can you only give advice or help from my own experience

the best thing to do is just be honest and open about it and you can only see what happens from there

if the person is nasty or cruel about it-are they really the kind of person you want to be friends with anyway

and if someone likes you,they’ll like no matter what

i hope this helps

#7

I’m a female and think things are worse for us as looks are very important.
Guys tend to be nasty about milder things like cellulite or overweight.
Think of yourselves ,most of you are guys, how would you react if you
met a good looking girl, educated, smart, with a interesting character
and then after you’ve met her you find out about her BN.
How would you react if you didn’t have such a thing yourself and saw it for the first time? Wouldn’t you say nice girl but what a shame…
And there are so many choices out there. More women than men in this
world. A guy would prefer a woman without such a thing. He would think
about many things. He might be eshamed of you. How are we going to
to the beach. And what are my friends going to say when they see her having this. They are going to make fun of me… and other thoughts like these.
I never had a problem meeting guys. The opposite. Most of them like me very much, find I’m very good looking, interesting, clever and stuff but
after one point I just go away from them because I want them to remember and now me like that and not remember my BN. So most of them never find out I have such a thing.

I really would appreciate if you guys reply what would your reaction be. How you see it as men.

#8

hi Ina…
sorry with my English and hope you can understand what I say.
If I meet a girl like you,good looking but with bn.I can absolutely say I would have no problem with it,cause friends or girl friends depends on the the person inside,still more you are good looking…
Although I may surprised when I frist seen it,but probably do not have any bad feelings or resist the bn.
If a preson is love you he should tolerate all of you.

As your words I discovered the things may not worse as you say,just your imagination,well…if your guy is sincere love you,I don’t think it wouldn’t have a problem that go to the beach with you,instead he may think about how to do will make you less stressful…men in this world are not selfish as you imagine.But I must admit I have same thought as you…all your thought I can totally understand.

huh…I believe that most bn does harm on our personal psychal more than on our outward.

#9

i certainly wouldn’t care less if a girl had BN- i might be a bit understanding being a fellow sufferer but even if i didn’t i’d hope i’d be cool with it(i’m pretty certian i would)