Why does he want someone with a moral compass?

Narcissistic personality disorder
#21

Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone
suffers from a Personality Disorder and this, following lengthy tests and
personal interviews. Click on these links to learn more:

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/1.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/npdglance.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq82.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faqpd.html

Sam

----- Original Message -----
From: “thephoenix101” npd-cpt6882@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Saturday, November 24, 2007 7:01 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] why does he want someone with a moral compass?

#22

Sounds like the topic is closing, but for what it is worth, my gut feeling is that someone w/ narcisssitic traits or AS traits can sense those of us who have big hearts and lots of empathy and compassion. They may not really know themselves what is feels like to experience those feelings, but they may intuit through years of expereince in being around people, that some people tolerate them more than others, that their skills work better on some people more so than others…that they get some of what then need from some types of people more than others. The fact that I was such a good listener and was very interested in my bf and allowed him to talk a lot about himself even on our first date, signaled to him my capacity to perhaps be someone who will try to love him. I’ve always been a good listener and like hearing about people’s lives, duh, that’s why I’m getting my masters in counseling. It was not on my mind that my rapt attention would signal to him my capacity to try and love him, and signal to him that I’m a perfect one to use his ‘manipulative skills’ on. I think that is exactly what happened. And, I don’t think he went home that night after having met me and plotted out how to mentally torture me for the next 1.5 years. I think he went into his ‘mode’, his way of living, his way of being, his way of garnering love and affection from another human being in his world It may not be MY WAY, but it is his way, the only way he knows how, and it’s close enough in resemblance to MY WAY, esecially in the beginning, that it took a while before I realized he plays by different rules than I do. It took me a while to realize that empathy does not pop into his head the way it does in mine. He is who he is. I don’t think he wants to hurt me, he is just being himself, just being who he is, in this point in time. I can’t expect him to start thinking and feeling empathy like I do, anymore than he can expect me to wake up with an absence of empathy and to start thinking and feeling the way HE does. I couldn’t be like him, probaby ever, no matter how much I tried or how much therapy I did try to see the world the way he does. Due to my empathy, I can understand how he lost empathy or is was never even modeled from childhood and how traumatic his childhood is. But, I could not BE LIKE him. He, likewise may not be able to ever be like me, or ever expereince empathy the way I do, or ever see the world or relationships the way I do, not matter how much he tries or how much therapy he does. He might, but it would be very hard and it would take a long long time, and he would have to be very motivated to want to learn to see the world differently. Meanwhile, there are many, many women in the world with big hearts and lots of compassion and empathy whom are avaialble for him to meet and take him in and love him, at least for a while, just like me. Also, if you don’t feel you are a very good person, then partnering up with someone whom you identify as a very good person, kind of makes you a good person by proxy, right? It would be kind of comforting.

#23

Question:

Can two narcissists establish a long-term, stable relationship?

Answer:

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq60.html

Inverted Narcissist

Also called “covert narcissist”, this is a co-dependent who depends
exclusively on narcissists (narcissist-co-dependent). If you are living with
a narcissist, have a relationship with one, if you are married to one, if
you are working with a narcissist, etc. - it does NOT mean that you are an
inverted narcissist.

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq66.html

There is great confusion regarding the terms co-dependent,
counter-dependent, and dependent. Before we proceed to study the Dependent
Personality Disorder in our next article, we would do well to clarify these
terms.

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders22.html

Notes of first therapy session with Mona, female, 32, diagnosed with
Dependent Personality Disorder (or Codependence)

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders56.html

Like both narcissists and psychopaths, borderlines are impulsive and
reckless. Like histrionics, their sexual conduct is promiscuous, driven, and
unsafe. Many borderlines binge eat, gamble, drive, and shop carelessly, and
are substance abusers. Lack of impulse control is joined with
self-destructive and self-defeating behaviors, such as suicidal ideation,
suicide attempts, gestures, or threats, and self-mutilation or self-injury.

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders18.html

Notes of first therapy session with T. Dal, female, 26, diagnosed with
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders50.html

Histrionics resemble narcissists - both seek attention compulsively and are
markedly dysphoric and uncomfortable when not at the center of attention.
They have to be the life of the party. If they fail in achieving this
pivotal role, they act out, create hysterical scenes, or confabulate.

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders17.html

Notes of first therapy session with Marsha, female, 56, diagnosed with
Histrionic Personality Disorder

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders52.html

Question:

What kind of a spouse/mate/partner is likely to be attracted to a
narcissist?

Answer:

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq6.html
----- Original Message -----
From: “smg” npd-cpt6882@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Saturday, November 24, 2007 7:21 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] why does he want someone with a moral compass?

#24

I cant make the intellectual connection you are between my question regarding why a N or ASP would only want a partner with a moral compass…and your links about histrionic partnrs of N’s.

But I’ll tell you this. I dont want to put energy into struggling to get some enlightening feedback on my topic of curiousity. It just isnt worth it to me. And I’m not interested in trying to defend myself, or point out the contradictions of supplying copious links about NPD but also saying no one can diagnose a N except a professional. I thought we were discussing NPD ont his forum, including our experiences and questions about our ex’s who may be N.

Whatever this forum is, its becoming harder and harder to have the kinds of discussions I was hoping could take place here.

Sam, whatever you want to do with this thread, whatever direction you want to take it into, please be my guest.

You have a lot of different takes on my question and tangents you’d like your links to take people’s attention to.

I wish you well with that. I’m sure theres plenty there that other members will find useful.

All I know is…I’m tired. Too much struggle going on here even for a warrior like me to feel comfy with.