Why we are here

#1

The name of this group is

" NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER GROUP"

There are other groups under the heading of abusive relationships, to suggest we not talk about NPD is an oxie moron. You are in the wrong group if you are offended by hearing the word or having someone referr to their partners or family member's as an N. If you preferr to call your partner "just" an abuser,a mean bastard, or a jerk that's your choice, but be aware that others will call their's N's and will discuss how this disorder impacted their lives, because this is

"THE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER GROUP".

 Give it some thought and if that upsets you any way, you need to find another group, no one wants to add more or take away from your jouney to recover. Our lives and reality have been twisted and messed with enough, I don't want to have to pause and check which group I am in. I joined this one for a reason, I have lived with an NPD partner, almost all of the information explains and applys to my life and explains my partner. You have to recognize and identify a problem or what is broken to begin to repair it. They are broken and so are you, but you can not repair them, and if you could, you need to repair the damage done to you first.

This is the "NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER GROUP," decide if this is the right group for you so you do not impede others trying to recover. Emotions run high on this board, some have been damaged more than others. Some are in different stages of growth or recovery.The worst case, some have children involved in this mess. When you have lived with a N, you have to keep a lot of feelings in, or you would get rage back, so this should be a place that you can express your feelings and PEOPLE NEED TO RESPECT THAT, You don't have to agree with it, you don't have to reply to a post, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. It is bound to happen, it won't be the end of the world, just move on. Remember everyone that finds this site is HURTING AND THEIR MINDS are not clear, that is why we came here looking for validation of our reality, sanity, clarity and for support in our journey to recovering. Some people may have to hate their N's to start the healing, some people do not want to have emapthy for their N's, they need to focus on their recovery, that may come in time, that is up to each person, what works for you does not work for another. Try to be respectfull of each others feeling and idividual ways of recovering. This is not a one size fits all, we are all damaged, but unique in our feelings and recovery. "Take what you need and leave the rest. "We all share the same goal, TO RECOVER AND MOVE ON.

I think hopetoday did a great thing when she started the other group that you can explore narcissism. She is looking for answers and is concerned about people who have this diorder. So you have an option to join that group also, you will find more emapthy for your partner or family member there. Many of us are just too exhausted from living it, we need to take all the energy and the little sanity we have left to put into our own recovery.

Sam, you are definitely not a people person,your social skills suck, they say, do what you do best, interacting with what you call the VICTIMS is abusive and uncalled for. You have no idea what this feels like, if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. I Know it's hard becasue you have to have the last word. This board has been dominated by childish fighting and name calling, stop it now. PM each other, fight in private, set up a meeting place and time and go duke it out.Get it off this board. This is a place for victims to express their feelings, share stories, and hopefully get enough out of it to recover and move on. Your information is valid and helpful but it has taken over the forum. You all need to go away so we can go back to helping each other. We have had enough BS and crazy in our lives, we don't need to deal with it in a place we came for help and support. Don't respond, have your temper tantrum, then go pout in the corner. I am sure I speak for everyone here, we have had enough of this!!!!!!

I left because I have enough BS in my personal life, I don't need to come on here and be subjected to more abusive behavior,I am brand new to support groups, since April, it is only 6 months comming out of the fog and craziness I have lived for too many years. I have learned a lot now about patience, and more respect where people are comming from, I am not recovered, but if I can help or spare someone from living my life, then there was a purpose to the madness I lived. I do not have an agenda, I speak from my heart and that helps in my healing.I am a work in progress. like everyone else on here. I don't have the answers, I am not going to say all the right things, We all need to be more patient and respect each other, trying to recover is not simple or easy for any of us. I am back but could get right back on as

                                                Respectfully mamolie

#2

in response to all of yesterday’s posts with today’s last post that I read:

I read ella’s book and I stand by what I said, it is a great book and I think it is very helpful and you can tell she put her heart into it. she did it for herself and to help others. I know this and I have conversed with her privately. I know that her heart was in this book becasue she had experienced narcissism, just like we all had, have maybe still are. She chose to write a book in hopes to help others figure out their own lives or relate and not feel so alone. Or at least that is what my perception is, I really should not speak for her. But I read her book and the whole thing even with my huge habit of never finishing a book. I related to her and felt her reaching out and sharing with me as I read the book. it gave me comfort and a validation to what I was living. So please do not judge her… it is her opinion and her TRUTH and everyone can jump on her and acuse her of whatever you think… but those are your opinions and they are not the truth. which leads to sam… sam has written a book about his truth and his life for people to gain insight and learn… now we all know that I am not a huge fan of sam but I also thank him becasue when I needed it … I learned all I could from him… and felt like I had an inside look to the far extreme of what NPD could be like and what it would be like for the people living it and his views of the world and what advice a person with severe npd would give to others… that helped me learn a lot… and then I found Kimco and Stevco… and they gave me another wonderful perspective and their truth based on their lives and I have learn so much from them and gained so much fabulous insight. And then… I have learned from each and every one of you…

I had to delete and not read all the posts from yesterday… I could not keep up and I am drained and have not been focusing on me and now I am ready to focus on me with a more clearer sense of direction based on all of you including ella’s book, sam’s book, mamolie’s experiences, every single person here who has shared what they have been through and how they are getting or got through it… how they feel and when I was at my lowest point … people here gave me the comfort I needed to keep going… I was feeling so alone and hurt and had no idea what what going on. I also felt like I was going to end up insane and in a mental hospital until I found this group who all publicly and privately gave me advice and words of comfort, hugs or just I am here for you to vent and know what you are going through…

but enough of this hurting each other… we all have opions that are valid… and our own truths and no matter how much we can relate to each other we all will have a different story and a different outcome that we need to learn from and respect…

so please take a step back and see the bigger picture.

is everyone taking out their anger on this post becasue we all aren’t over the hurt yet? so maybe this is good that this is all coming out and it can then take a turn and head in the right direction and seeing what we can do to help each other…

and if this post is only for healing and moving on… it should say that in the description … my new group states that it is for exploring… when I joined this group was looking for answers along with comfort … and I want more than one option and I want to understand me and my N. and figure out WHY.

So… with that… if you feel like exploring and sharing and share in my group too… I participate in both, I think both are valid and I just am trying to respect that people do not want to listen to me on this post which I am totally cool with and respect and that is the purpose and intent of my new group.

also, I did have one observation… mamolie, why are you writing under amber2? Why not your own name?

why is everyone accusing others of writing under different names? if you are, I just ask that you do not do that on my group. And if you do that… what is the purpose? and if you have no good reason for accusing someone of writing under differnt names, than don’t do it… it is hurtful and mean and just shows your own paranoia and ability to not trust that people are who they are …I am going to believe that everyone who they say they are until I feel that I should not but I do feel like I can’t trust as fully in this group with mamolie turning into amber2 and reading about sam deleting posts on other sites or feeling. I also have a suspicion that sam could be multiple people(my own paranoia based on things)… but I am going to take that and end it here and try not to think about how people want to decieve me and I am going to try to surround myself with people who are not going to lie to me. But Mamolie, through all of our differences, I never lost respect for you or your opinions until now. now I wonder, who are you? but I am also not going to pursue an answer, I have enough going on and if it makes you feel better, than I guess do it… I just was wondering why and what is the purpose? If you feel like sharing great… and if you feel like posting under amber2 that is fine and I will respect that and not say another word, respond or don’t respond, it is your life and what you want to do… just keep in mind… how would you feel if you confided in someone and then they switched names and had been posting under someone else, wouldn’t you feel uneasy about that? And like you had been lied to? I totally thought you were this person with integrity and I do not know your reasons so maybe they are totally valid and I will see why… but until then… or maybe you are sam.

It is funny, isn’t the rule of cheating the people who accuse are the cheaters and they project what they are doing and wonder if their partner is cheating? well, I noticed that a lot of people were accusing others of posting under different names which is something I would never do… and never even thought of doing … so… the people accusing… are you doing it and that is why you are accusing or suspicious of others doing that?

I hope that you all have a really happy day and please be resepctful of others, isn’t that why we all are here? We want to be heard, understood and respected with finding the happiness we are longing for? Well, that is what I want and will not stop looking until I find the life that I want and dream of… even if it is a far fetched dream. My whole life has been far fetched and I have seemed to get a lot of it… not all of it… so I am going to keep on trying and keep on beleiving… along with all my crazy mistakes and shit that happens… but that is life… I have lots of bad shit and low moments where I cry and say what the fuck does this all mean and why am I here. and I get pissed and rant and rave and become angry … always with hope and dreams. If I followed the path expected and not my hope and dreams… I would have 3 kids, house and dog and perfect little family in my home town with a job that pays me ok with benefits… I don’t have any of that and I followed my dreams… my dreams did not turn out the way I thought… but the right direction.

The other day Dr Oz said that HOPE was finding looking for answers and trying to find meaning in things… even if you never get the answers… the importance is in asking the questions… (or something like that). I thought that was so true and so ironic that I picked that as my name when normally I would pick “totallyfucked” or “hurt” or “Npdgirlfriend” … I have never picked something that was so damn upbeat… shit… am i turning over a new leaf and not wanting to be so depressive? LOL.

so again… ugh… my need to smooth over and fix… I have to go and work and yes, I have issues as it really upset me that you all (including me the other day) have totally taken this and made it into a not so nice place while all trying to prove our points and make people see things our way… when we should just listen… and learn and respect… and not change the other person…

so shit… I need to read my own post… I am trying to get you all to see things my way… still have a lot to learn on my end… there is a podcast on itunes about letting go or it was on hayhouse radio… need to go listen to that like 100 times! never claimed to be perfect and actually I am FAR FAR from it and still learning and trying to overcome all my faults.

AND YES, if you feel like telling me what you see wrong and all my issues, I love getting other people’s points of views… even if I don’t agree… i just take them in and try to learn…

#4

I personally wish you would all stick to talking about Narcissistic Personality Disorder…

But the the brutal truth is that for quite a few of you that will mean not talking about your exes…

Because they do not have clinical NPD.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying they weren’t abusive, not that I wouldn’t be happy to assist in castrating them with nail clippers IF I knew them…

Just that the did not have real NPD…

GD

#5

hopetoday,

I signed off care place and left, but sat here last night thinking about some of the people on here that I do care about. I gave my home email to several people I trusted, I got an email that something crazy was going on here.I tried to come back on, unfortunately, I could not get back on as mamolie, I had to email care place to reenstate me as mamolie, the only way I could get back on this site, was to sign in with another name to see what was happening, it was not nice, there is no excuse for the meanness and the attacks on Ella, or any one else last night. Maybe you didn't get to read them since you were so tired, it was not about differences it was mean, nasty attacks on her and anyone else who said something about freedom to read what ever they want, no one has the right to tell you, what you can or can not read, no one. So no I am not sinister or deceptive, I came back on because I care about some of the people. I still am not able to use mamolie, but this srceen name will be deleted when I am back on. I am not the one who questioned any one's name on here. I do not have an agenda, just wanted to share, try to heal and recover myself., plain and simple.         amber2 till careplace puts me back on as mamolie

#6

Thanks Hopetoday and Mamolie for your support and kind words. You are right, we nee to get back to our real reason for being here - to support one another, not attack one another. Thanks again!