I’ve come to realize that I am probably drug/therapy “resistant” after many years going through the gamut with medications and such and not being able to stay on them because of severe side effects. Still suffering with my OCD Double Checking daily, almost as much as I was when my OCD came on in 1981. Anybody else out there in the same predicament?
I’m going to be 63 this February… have had OCD since age of five!!! I’ve done the gambit of meds, ect, erd, etc, etc, with little or no results worth discussing… as a Chronic Hoarder/Packrat… as the “primary” focus of my OCD… Secondary, to PTSD, Physical & Sexual Childhood Abuse, and now… Transgenderism!!! I feel, it’s IMPORTANT… to “establish” a SELF-IDENTITY; separate, from your OCD… (easy to say, hard to do!)… to, “have a SENSE of “normalcy”… to your life; outside of… the OCD!!!”
Hi Alphonse,
Wow, you sure can relate! I’m sorry to hear you have been through so
much! I was hospitalized twice for OCD and after many doctors who
thought they could help to no avail, I elected to go for outpatient
Electro Shock Therapy for 14 treatments. That didn’t help either. Been
through many meds that gave me severe side effects. Have been on 2 meds
now for about 5 years that just helps to keep my anxiety under control
but, doesn’t do anything for my OCD. I’ve just come to terms that I’m
probably never going to have it any better than this. Yes, my OCD has
messed up my life Greatly too. Sure, we have to keep trying. We are
stronger than we think we are to have been through so much.
You said…“This is ocd and even though it feels so real and makes our
lives unbearable sometimes, it’s irrational and unrealistic in terms of
what it tells us about ourselves. We need to keep reminding ourselves
of
that.” I couldn’t agree more!!! Yes, I’m still here and still trying
too. It’s nice to know I’m not alone!! Thanks so much for writing. Good
Luck!!!
Bob 
On Jun 19, 2007, at 11:33 PM, alphonse wrote:
Yeah, I can relate. I’m 46 y/o and have had ocd since I was 9. I’ve been through
several extensive therapies since I was 18, was under psychiatric care from '96
to '02. And that 6 year period was the absolute worst time of my life. It’s
kind of understandable to me now, since all these mental health professionals
I’d seen had absolutely zero expertise in the field of ocd. Much of what they
did was completely wrong, as I’ve learned in the last 5 yrs after reading books
about ocd and exposure/response and cognitive behavior therapy. Ultimately, they
only managed to make my condition worse.
But the real let down is that I finally sought out a cbt therapist last
March and had my hopes high that this might finally help me. When I met with
him, he assured me that he would make me better and promised me that HE was
what I needed to overcome my ocd. I believed him. And then at the 7th session
with him, he abruptly told me he wanted to end the therapy because I hadn’t
improved enough at that point to please him(and his ego). He recommended I see
the psychiatrist at that clinic and start taking anti-depressants. I told him
at the very beginning of our therapy that I’d been on a drug regiman in the
past that made me unfunctionable and that I’d tried several anti-depressants
and they did absolutely nothing for me(at their highest dosages)except make me
feel suicidal when I went off of them and I’d never do them again. But he
obviously didn’t care about that.
But we can’t give up and have to keep reaching out and trying. And if I can
keep doing this, so can YOU. This is ocd and even though it feels so real and
makes our lives unbearable sometimes, it’s irrational and unrealistic in terms
of what it tells us about ourselves. We need to keep reminding ourselves of
that. I’ve been to hell and back several times and my ocd has messed up my life
greatly. I spent 4 periods in psychiatric wards because of it and have been to
treatment 2x for alcohol abuse because of it. And I could write a book about
the rest. But I’m still here and I’m still trying. So at least take some
comfort in knowing you’re not alone. E-mail me anytime. Good luck.
I can’t take anti-depressants, they make me agitated. And lithium makes me
stutter and get nervous and complicates my OCD. I check food and soda bottles
out of fear of chemicals. OCD is a cross, and so is my stuttering.
************************************** See what’s free at http://www.aol.com.