Ok Ive been sober 6monthand 12 days and My largest struggle todate is the fact that Im in a relationship with this man for four yrs.Yes he have been up and we have been down and out.We always find our way back to each other.Ive been told that we will always struggle because he is not living the sober life styal that I now live.Now I can say that he doesnt have a issue with alcohol like I do.Nor does he with drugs not that I know of.Yrs ago we partyed togeather.And we havent sence I dried up.Now he still drinks on occasion.and He want to smoke bud adain.I have made it clear that I wont let him put me in a place to relapse.Nor does he want to either.So here is my delema.Can a drunk and a normy make it?
Hello Peaches. How are you doing today? My relationship with my husband was similar to yours. We would “unwind together and have a few”. But now that i don’t drink anymore we find other things to do together to unwind. It has been a little weired and different but different can be good. He does not keep alcohol in the house and only drinks when he goes out which is not often. We have found there is other things in this world to do beside drink together. It is hard at first but it is worth it. We have so much more fun together being sober. It is interesting to see how a relationship changes and all the dynamics of the relationship. There are many things out there besides drinking together. I have been sober for about a month and still have a lot of work ahead of me but so far everything i have done to get and stay sober has been so worth it. There are many fears associated with getting sober and i still have a lot of them. I suggest talking to him about what you two can do together that does not involve alcohol. Come up with compromises. Just talk. That’s what we did when i became sober. Talking is a very powerful thing and can solve a lot of worries and doubts as well a reconnect. Good luck to you on your journey.
~ashley~
Thank you for that. I know we love each other and there is alot of work ahead but 10 years is a long time and I think we can do it.
peaches you want him you keep him.He is your life support.If you want him to.I’ll warn you.You will run into some die hard big book thumping oldtimerd and they might make you feel that you have to get rid of him to stay sober.That is not up to me to decide.Brian and I have been throgh lots good bad joys laughter tears and betrian.Weve lie to protect each other from things we didnt think they could handdle.So we have history to.Ive found a voice and am learning to set bonderies.Heathy one for us both.know that its a struggle everyday.But we see a light at the end of a tunnle.Thats where we are going. He belives in me.proud of me and has respect for me and my stuggleI cant ask for much more then that.We;ll evolve our relationship and bounderies as we go.That god that we control our decicons now that wee sober.But asways rememer if you dont love you ,you cant hope that or think that he can do it for you both.He is going though things as you are to
well… i have seen many couples that have gone into the rooms and stayed together… just as there are many that don’t… it all depends on if the 2, in the process of becoming sober, can find some common ground, and are willing to go through the effort of getting to know eachother again completely from scratch and… some make it, some don’t… but if it comes down to being with the sig. other, or getting sober… go with sobriety… it means so much more…
Absolutely. my husband and i are getting to know the real people we are and what we have in common. Lets just say we got lucky in that department. We have alot in common and we enjoy getting to know each other again. It feels kinda like dating again and brought a new spark into the marriage. It’s all in how you handle it and look at it. Good luck to you. xoxox
~ashley~