Always Feeling Sick and Scared

Anxiety
#1

I feel like I have lost control of my life.

I am 22yrs old. I have a new baby and a wonderful sweet husband.

For some reason I always feel sick. There are very VERY few days that I feel healthy. My symptoms are usually one or all of the following:

Nausea
Headaches
Dizziness
Pain
Fatigue

I get so upset when I feel this way. I just feel like crying. All I want is for my husband to lay or sit with me and hold me to make me feel better. I have SOOOO many medications I take for these symptoms but no doctor can figure out if there is anything physical causing them. When I feel that way I get and act very nervous and scared because to me being sick is the WORST thing in the world and the most horrifying.

Okay well most of you must be thinking, okay honey its definatly just anxiety. But here’s the thing. I actually have a number of disorders. Health issues that have ruled my life since I was born. I have a very rare genetic disease called Gauchers Disease. Currently I recieve the most expensive medication world wide every week…forever.

Also my blood sugar is outa whack, I have osteopenia ( a result of Gauchers) and I have horrendous dysmenorrhea ( had it ever since my period started when I was 13), and I have kidney stones. Now I can add migraines to the list. I’ve been in and out of hospitals my whole life. I’ve been in and out of school I’ve had no friends because of all the trouble.

I’ve just basically had to base my entire life around how I’m gonna feel. I haven’t been able to have a real job ever because I will get fired from having to take time off for illnesses. I don’t feel like a good wife or mother because I need so much help.

I cry so often because I know that anxiety is causing a lot of my problems that aren’t caused by the actual proven disorders I have. Its not just anxiety its Fear. I become a little crying child when I get upset and worried about being sick. Its just funny how whenever I feel bad I usually feel soooo much better when I’m alone in my bedroom with all my pillows and watching my favorite movies.

I’m afraid to take medication due to the side effects that could make me sick (which is the last thing I want) or to become numb and unable to give my husband abd child the affection I always do.

Please Help :frowning:

#2

Hi,
Sounds like you have a lot to deal with. I understand. I just went through 2
years of all sorts of medical problems, inc. a terrible case of ulcerative
colitis brought on my a bacteria, Epstein Barr virus, and other stuff. It
was bad. I was on Paxil the whole time, it helped me to cope, but now it’s
stopped working. As soon as I feel better, the Paxil stops doing the job and
now I’m dealing with anxiety again.
I’m not going to say that all your problems are from anxiety, but it sure
could be playing a role in it. There is one med out there called Cymbalta
that is an SNRI that helps mood plus pain. I took it for 3 weeks, and it
worked, but I was nervous and jittery all the time. I still wonder if that
was from stopping the Paxil cold turkey or the Cymbalta. I know someone
taking it that loves it. You are so young to be going through all this, my
heart goes out to you. I’m 44, but I have suffered with anxiety all my life
off and on. It was after my son was born 7 yr. ago that the anxiety went
totally out of control and I had to go on meds. I would gladly have stayed
on Paxil all my life, and never thought it would stop working.
What is Gaughers? What does it do to you?
God bless you,
Dawn <><

#3

Hey Gus, have you overcome fear and anxiety, and if so, how?
Dawn <><

#4

I’m not Doctor but you could have Fibromyalgia… I feel the same way you do most of the time… Do a google search and read up on it… Nothing worse than really crappy all the time and not knowing why… Even if you just have a name for it… Doesn’t make it go away but it help you understand… Hope this helps a little bit and hang in there!

      Diana
#5

Hi Gus,
I have no idea how anyone could deal with these anxiety/panic problems w/o
God. I pray a LOT, and He helps me. Often I don’t understand why He doesn’t
just stop the anxiety. I know it’s not His will for me or anyone to live all
stressed out and anxious. For me, my anxiety problem is generalized. I just
feel uptight, tense, and anxious all the time over nothing. I have weaned
off my meds a few times, and the anxiety always came back. I am now seeing a
homeopath who says she’s helped a lot of people successfully get off these
meds and be fine, but right now that is feeling like a hard to attain goal
for me. I’m trying, since my Paxil isn’t working. I wish I knew just how
much is was or wasn’t working, and how I’d be if I just stopped taking it. I
am thinking of giving Zoloft another try.
I keep praying asking God for guidance. I feel like I should get a clear
answer, but that has not happened.
Dawn <><

#6

Dawn,

I was on Zoloft and it worked great for awhile and then it just stopped working…
After my hosp. stay I promised myself I would NEVER stop taking my meds no matter what.

Hope it works out for you though…

    Diana
#7

Hi Bratina,

I’m so sorry for the way you are feeling. I’m sure post-partum blues have been added to your list? What has your GYN said about it? Are you seeing a therapist? I too have a list of health issues and anxiety is almost at the top of my list, and like you…I am better if I am in my room with TV on to filter out everything out on the other side of my door entrance. (can’t close my door, the guilt won’t let. Don’t want anyone in the house thinking I am not available to them, at least in site of them, and they know if my door is shut (which is hardly ever) but they then know, I don’t want company, otherwise they can come in anytime. I dont want my husband, and grand daughter to feel I dont want to be around them. Heck, sometimes I dont…and that just adds more stress to my list. Seeing my therapist for almost 3 years now, is a great help to me. She told me to get the book, The Anxiety and Phobia Wookbook. I went on Barnes and Noble Site, and bought one yesterday from the “used” books, which are much cheaper. Paid $1.99 for mine. So when I get the book, I sure hope it helps me and if my therapist says it will, i think it just might do the trick… I know I have a phobia of being around people out of doors due to my “list” of health issues. Just thought maybe this wookbook would help you and others as well. LOUIE

#8

Diana,
How long did you take Zoloft before it stopped working?
I was on Paxil 6.5 yr. before it stopped doing the job. Until then I had no
idea these meds could stop working, and I was planning to just stay on it
for life too.
My anxiety problem isn’t about any ‘thing’ in particular.
It’s just there.
<><

#9

Batrina, I am no therapist, but it sounds like you definately are having some symptoms of post partum depression, and it would be no wonder with all the other health problems you are facing. It is great you have a supportive husband who will hold you when you need to cry, and that you can sometimes get a break alone in your room. However, I think it would be a very good idea to talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist about your mood. Stress and anxiety can cause almost any symptom. Fear, the shakes, hyperventelating, having parts of the body go numb like with a stroke, feeling like you are not really there, and many other things can express themselves as fear or anxiety. 22 is very young to have to be dealing with all you have on you plus a new baby to take care of, which means broken sleep and many demands. I would really think about counseling of some type, or possibly medication. It doesn’t all make you sleepy or out of it, but it can improve the quality of your life and make you feel better if the doctor thinks you are a candadite for it. Deb

#10

I have only been able to face my fears with the assistance of ssri’s and
anti-anxiety meds. I could have simply taken the meds and felt better about my
life…but I decided that while I was feeling a bit better that I should face
my fears, as you identified as a part of your current process, and take
control back from the grip of fear.
I pray that your med phobia will dissipate allowing you to take what is
needed to get you started off in a better direction. It can be done…and meds
can eventually be eliminated
John

************************************** See what’s free at http://www.aol.com.

#11

Dawn…

You are correct. .5 mg it is and it seems to work all day for me. Originally
took Wellbutrin to focus and depress appetite. Works on three
neurotransmitters. Just never stopped because I think the anti-depressant characteristics
helped me and, again, with no side effects at all. Not sure if it an SSRI.

Brain chemistry is fascinating.

Chris

************************************** See what’s free at http://www.aol.com.

#12

Reddogranch,

Was a little over 2 yrs… I have been on a lot of different meds. I think I should have kept closer track to each one…

#13

i had some of these symptoms after having my babies. they could be related to hormones. they did eventually go away but i can remember dealing with nausea on a daily basis. it took me a while to get back to normal. i dont know if this is the case with you, but i just wanted to put it out there in case it helps at all.

#14

Step one…reach out like you have just done. Stay transparent with people,
this may take the edge off of your fear. Shared experience can be healing
in itself.
It would be great if you were able to identify, specifically, which symptoms
are directly related to specific issues.
Then you would be able to identify the fear based symptoms and begin to work
on them separately allowing the physicians to target the symptoms directly
related to your known conditions.
Fear and anxiety can be overcome. Just think, you might be able to
eliminate half of your physical issues!
John

************************************** See what’s free at http://www.aol.com.

#15

Hi, I understand your anxiety. I really could not do absolutely anything without God. I am the mother of a soon to be 24 year child with Down Syndrome Last year I hit a hard wall and literally crashed. I was so full of stress that I didn’[t even recognize I was overwhelmed. I sank into depression and was put on wellbutrin and zoloft and xanax for anxiety. I cried alot. My serotonin was very low. I also had to engage in professional counseling all of these put together was my cocktail for recovery. It’s been over a year now AND I still have to take the meds and attend counseling. I am stressed due to the many facets of care I give to my daughter as well as myself but I have to learn what are the best ways for me to cope. I attend church on a regular basis and my daughter attends her class specifically for people with disabilities. I also have to lean on good friends for emotional support.

#16

I have made a lot of progress. Two years ago, life’s accumulative stressors
finally built up enough to run me right into a wall…kicked my butt and out
of the blue it was panic attack city, one after another for about a
year…visit after visit to the ER…with the same diagnosis…“there is nothing
wrong with you”.
I am by no means cured…but I have learned to note the onset of the
anxiety/panic attacks and am still learning how to reduce the level of the insuing
attack or avoid it all together through prayer…reframing…and by sticking
to my regemine of zoloft and ativan, which I do not like taking…but as soon
as I begin to ween off of it…I begin to get the same old stressed out
numbness in my face and neck…stroke symptoms, you know…bad enough to give
one the impression that he may be in some kind of trouble…
when he is not.
I am not as sharp as I used to be at work…the Ativan nightly has a
residual effect during the day…but it has an effect that reminds me regularly
throughout the day of my need to relax despite the difficult issues at hand. I
have learned to trust God. When something is bigger than me…I used to freak
out and do whatever I could to manipulate a situation into an area I could
control…and this was a major part of my anxiety disorder and panic attack
onset. I am learning to allow myself to fail, and to just know that I have
done my best…and if I live above reproach in my private and vocational
life…it doesn’t matter what others think because I know that God is aware of my
genuine best effort…of my integrity. If the creator of all things known and
unknown has got my back…what in the hell should I be worried about?
Worry is leaving my life slowly…at t least the kind of worry that has
plagued me for so many years…the worry of being alone…the worry of
finances…the worry of compromised physical health…the worry this, the worry
that…I have found the teaching of Jesus on the matter of worry and anxiety to be
very helpful once implimented.

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#17

Bratina,
I totally know how you feel.
I have been going through this same thing for the last couple of years. it has gotten increasingly worse.
I have IBS and I am prone to fainting and i had a few bad attacks where i would have horrible neseaua and diahrea and then faint.
The more they happened the more I started having horrible and anxiety that it was going to happen again.
Then the fear started becoming about me thinking that there must be something wrong with me that the doctors just hadnt figured out yet.
So now i have a phobia of being away from home.
I am extremley fearful about being away from the bathroom. To the point that I bought a camper van with a toilet in it to just drive around town. And being more than 25-30 minutes from home sends me into a total anxiety attack.
I am scared of going to the movies or anywhere that i know i have to be at for more than 30 minutes.
My husband always wants to go to the beach, but that is an hour from my house and the idea just terrifies me.
I am trying to practice going places and gradually be able to go further and further from home, but it is really hard.
i dont take any medication for my anxiety because i have a phobia of medication as well.
it just seems like i am getting more and more fearful of more and more things.
I never used to be like this. And i dont know how it got to this point.
I do see a therapist and that helps, but she thinks i need medication which i dont really want to do.
For now i am just trying to figure out ways to slowly face my fears.
I am 28 and i feel bad so often i feel like i am trapped in the body of a 70 year old. it just doesnt seem right that someone my age should feel so much like they are falling apart.
Keep in touch and maybe we can swap different ideas on how to overcome this.

Bratina anxiety-cpt5004@lists.careplace.com wrote:

#18

I was a person that did not believe anyone really needed meds for these type
of anxiety/depression problems, until it happened to me. My whole life I
have been prone to anxiety, but after my son was born, man, anxiety hit me
like a ton of bricks. My biggest thing was I could not sleep, period. Not
even with the best sleeping pills they could throw at me.
After fighting it for 6 mo. I got on Paxil, and it saved my life.
You might also be having a serious drop in progesterone, if you don’t like
meds, you could try some natural progesterone supplements from a health food
store. You can even get progesterone cream that you just rub on your skin,
and it does work, if that is your problem. When you are pregnant your
progesterone rises very high, then when the baby is born, it suddenly drops
very low. That can really mess you up.
<><

#19

I had tremendous anxieties to the point that I couldn’t sleep. My doc
recommended Klonopin, 5 mg, once a day. It acts instantly and, believe this or
not, eliminated the anxieties. I know this sounds like a pharmaceutical
ad–gives me a positive outlook where I am not worrying about little things that
drove me bats before. It doesn’t seem to have any negative side affects. I have a
few yawns about 10 am and that’s it.

I’ve recommended it to two women friends who have had good results. It comes
in a generic that is sold at Costco–presumably among other places.

I don’t think it’s an anti-depressant. Have been on Wellbutrin 450 mg, high
dose, for years and my doc wants to wean me off. Not sure I want to take that
risk.

Good luck, Chris

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#20

Hi Chris,
Klonpin is a Benzodiapine. It’s an anti-anxiety pill, but not
anti-depressant or SSRI. I think you must mean you take .5 mg, not 5 mg.
The highest dose in one pill I know of is 1mg. It does work well, but the
effects only lasts a few hours, but that is often all you need.
The generic is called Clonazepam.
Did the Wellbutrin work for you for anxiety?
Dawn <><