Bipolar Member Introductions

I am 53 and have a bipolar disorder and a generalized anxiety disorder all my life. I was first treated for both in 1983. I knew there was something wrong with me at a young age and then when I was 11, I asked my family if I could see a psychiatrist. I was told then thar, "Nobody in our family has been to a psychiatrist and you won’t be the first. I have been seeing the same psychiatrist for 10 years because I am on disability and the only health insurance I can afford is Medicare. I have been married to Ray for 12 years. He’s been to my doctor two times. I have asked him if he would please come to all of my doctor appointments for at least six months. He has agreed. I feel like it will help him understand more about what is going on with me, he can communicate with the doctor and I think that will help the doctor in treating me. Also, I had a major manic attack involving another person two weeks ago and it has taken me until now to get over it. I want to learn more about stopping both the depression and anxiety from completely controlling me. I may need to have my medications changed, too.

Just want someone to talk to who understands. I try really hard to hold everything inside because my kids don’t understand why mommy cries or why she’s sad. Just need a friend.

I’ve was diagnosed with bi-poler in 1984 hated Lithium didn’t stay on medication vary much until new stuff came out . DR Richard Atkins in Bloomfield Mi adjusted me to Topmax , Abilify Triliptol . DR ATkins was the best Dr I’ve had. I moved to Alfred NY in 2002. Alfred a small college town and the Dr’s only see you every three months . I love the hills in Alfred and the small rivers and the people are friendly ,but I miss Michigan.

I am a mom of 3 little boys who I adore beyond anything. I have always dealt with mental health issues and recently was diagnosed as being bi polar type II. I am not in the most emotionally stable marriage. My husband has a hard time with the concept of mental illness and thinks that everything will be okay if I will it to be okay. Other than that, I am a pretty normal person. I like to spend time with my friends and family. I like to entertain people in my home and love to create memorable parties for all occasions. I like to read so I spend lots of time (and money) at book stores where I drink mass amounts of coffee with friends.

want to have support with this disorder and find out the affects of bipolar disorder on my relationships.

32 year old living with bipolar stay at home mom full time student

Wanting to lean more about being bipolar and dealing with depression.

I live in Victoria, Australia work as a nurse and have been living with diagnosed bipolar for about 6 years. I find the disorder challenges me at time particularly when I am placed in a stressful situation. I just sometimes need to speak to somebody who understands the issues the arise from living with bipolar!!!

I just want to talk with people. I would like to meet others that have bipolar. I would like to find some friends to do things with like meet for breakfast, go for walks.

I am 37,married with two daughters ages 6.5 and 3.
I live in Scotland and would like to chat with people who live with my condition also.
I like walking,reading listening to music,tv and sport.

I’ve been a single Dad for 9 years and have looked after my 2 sons for over 8 years. After my common law wife (my sons’ mother) left us over 8 years ago I had what some might call a break down of sorts. God was talking with me for six months or so and I was quite manic, eating only vegetables and exercising a lot (God told me to) hehe, and I lost 40 pounds and was in the best physical shape of my life. Also, I held down a part time job that required plenty of hard physical work, and I got along just fine with only 3 to 4 hours sleep every night. A couple of close friends talked me into going to the hospital. Once I told them God was talking to me and his damned devil talked to me once I was put away in a maximum security ward of the hospital, and there I stayed for 57 days.

The Doctors came to the conclusion that I am bipolar. After about 3 weeks I began to accept the drugs they offered me and after awhile God was not talking to me any more. I had a lot of time to read about this bipolar illness I was supposed to have and once I read enough to understand what bipolar is, my whole life began to make sense.

The drug overdoses and suicide attempts, all the years of using hard drugs made sense. I was dealing with an illness I didn’t know I had. All I knew back then was that I didn’t fit in with normal people. I even felt and still do feel out of place, even with my own Mom, Dad, my relatives and both brothers. I now am on methadone; have been for around 20 years. I tried to come off of it 6 times unsuccessfully. I always went back to the heroin, morphine and any other opiate because the withdrawal from the methadone lasted a long time. The last time I was off the methadone lasted for 4 months and I still felt as though I was still going through withdrawals. I had no energy and generally felt like shit.

My family Doctor (of about 20 years) informed me that I have done damage to the receptors in the brain. A normal brain releases endorphins. They are the bodies natural opiate. My brain has had so many opiates over the years that it will no longer release endorphins because the opiates have been doing that for me for many years, hence the feeling of a lengthy withdrawal when the drugs are stopped. Endorphins also affect a persons mood.

Anyway, once I knew I had this bipolar illness my whole life made sense.

I want to learn how to live with and support my wifes condition befor our marraige is destroyed by it.

After years of thinking I was crazy i was told i was bipolar and just feel no one understands. My work isn’t very understanding and think I’m out to make trouble, I just feel so lost. I have a wonderful boyfriend who finds it difficult but still stands by me. I sometimes feel like i have a split personality as when I become low I have no control of what I’m doing and no-one believes me!

I have very low self esteem which I think causes me to lie and not to trust others. I want to talk with people who can relate to me so that hopefully I can learn to manage my disorder before it ruins my life

I live in Central FL and have recently been re-diagnosed from Clinically Depressed to BiPolar Disorder. I’m learning how to correctly handle my condition and find it’s best to have people with the same conditions who I can talk to.

My son was finally DX with Bi Polar disorder finally back when he was 15 years of age. I had been given multiple reasons for his out breaks. His problems started at the age of 4. Needless to say I had a lot of frustrations with him. However, I actually found a Dr. that was willing to listen not only to me but to my son as well and then we experimented with a ton of medication until we came upon a wonderful medication called Lithium. Now, I do understand the cause and effects of this particular medication. However, it has been a wonde drug for my son. He is now 20 years old and since being placed on this medication he has only been hospitalized 2 times. Yah!

He is also on other medications as well because he has a multitude of medications. He does take abilify, tenex and risperdal as well for the bi-polar disorder. He lovesto try and fit in but can be short fused from time to time.

Along with this DX he is also what they would call mildly mentally retarded. He has an IQ of someone that is 7 years old. Thus the problem that I am having. Currently I am fighting with SSI not for the money but a way to get him insurance. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions I sure would love to hear about them.

My intentions are to keep him in school as long as I can. I have POA on him now. However, I am afraid that if he isn't in school he will be kicked off of my insurance and therefore the reason for keeping him  in school.

Thank you everyone for listening. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions I sure would appreciate the feed back.

Thank you, Linda

Have a s/o who is bipolar and a recovering alcoholic. I get frustrated sometimes and feel guilty because of it

Hi Pooh,

Tell me about it. I felt that way for a long time until I started learning about it. However approx. 1 year ago I found out that I have a neurological problem that could be the reason fro my sons condition. However, with the medication that he is on he has finally straightened around. It just took several years to get the right Dr. to listen. If you knew him before the medication and then after the medication you would be shocked. it is absolutely amazing. I am so very proud of him. he has really came along way. I hope and wish you all of the luck in the world. I am new to this particular group and I am trying to figur eit out. So any advice or assistance would be wonderful. Take care and I wish you all of the luck in the world. Linda

Hello to all of you in this Community.  From what I can tell we've all been battling our illnesses for some time.  I've found relief here and there - sometimes up and down and up, etc. in the same day.  I'm in the periennal "I'm mad as hell and can't take it anymore" mode because just when I think "it's safe to go in the water" I have to shrink back because I'm having anxiety for what many times seem to be stupid reasons.  Sometimes a trigger, sometimes OCD related.  My therapist said to think of my problem with the idea that everyone has rituals.  O.K. I can try to live with that - so then when I go looking for an outfit that I didn't experience anxiety in the last few days or have to drink from the same two glasses and it has to be exactly the way I want (maybe no ice one day, maybe 2 ice cubes the next and if someone brings it and it doesn't seem right I'll dump it and fix it the way I want to) that I can say to myself - it's O.K. everybody has rituals.  My meds have been altered several times in the past few months.  Will the upgrade in lithium kickin and hold?  I can tell it's trying to work.  Making myself exercise and sit down to paint as well as reading when I'm in the right frame of mind to, where I can sit still, seem to also be working.  The ever present self talk, especially in the morning when I wake up alone and have to make myself eat breakfast even if I'm pacing is also very hard at work.  I've been told to turn on the TV and/or read a magazine during times when I have to eat alone.  This technique was difficult and I found I could not stand to have the TV too loud.  I'll try with magazine tomorrow.  I've gone five days without extra klonopin during the day - I feel like a junkie sometimes - The good news is that I'm not a failure if I have to take it; however, I feel like a stronger individual if I can self-talk, or engage myself in an activity to work through the anxiety.  I'm also trying to schedule activities to do throughout the day so that I have things to look forward to.  The work is very slow - sort of like watching the grass grow.  If you look away for alittle while and then look back that's when you see the progress.  I would welcome any good advice/comments.  Anyone that would like to offer their tried and true methods.

LadyofSpring 

 

Hi I have bipolar type 2 and I find that the sodium valproate works really well for me for any of those people who find their meds arent working I found that this drug has totally stabilized my moods and I feel totally fine not depressed not manic just the mid base mood that most people experience that dont have bipolar.  I find keeping myself busy and active also helps like walking along the beach, I also love improving my garden, I ripped all the old plants out and started from scratch adding lots of lovely colored shrubs, and flower and started growing a herb patch though my vegetable garden seems to have been very unsuccessful.

I find the gardening very therpeautic when I am stressed as I forget about the though world for 1-2 hours and just weed, and plant new vegetation. To the lady seek online friends I can help there but cannot hook up as I live in Australia.  Ive havent travelled overseas much last trip abroad was to FIJI which was back in 1992 but its is something I want to pursue in the future.  I enjoy my profession working as a nurse and find it a satisfying career as I enjoy helping people and love learning about various medical conditions and believe even if you are not a nurse people should be inquisitive about these medical conditions just for a knowledge base regardless whether you have the condition or not though obviously if you do have a particular medical condition I believe majority of people would research and find out as much as they could about it, which is what I did when I found out I was bipolar in 1999 way before I became a nurse.

Im looking forward to the next couple of weeks as Im going to a festival called the “Apollo Bay Music Festival” which is about 2.5hours out of melbourne for the weekend.  Then im throughing myself a party for my 40th birthday so look forward to catching up with all my family and friend for that.

Well thats enough about me hope to hear from feed back from any of you out there!