Hi Mamolie,
I am afraid ignoring Sam doesn’t work, because he knows that technique well and regards it as an highly satisfactory challenge and validation.
He has also got a LOT of mileage in terms of publicity out of persuading people to “ignore” rather than criticise him over the years.
So we get this dichotomy whereby even when people criticise him they do so in terms of his own credo rather than either real psychology, or reality, and he LOVES this.
Let me copy/paste something about this:
When I got rid of “The Vaknin factor” and started revamping the Narcissism related articles on Wikipedia I realised that I knew little or nothing about NPD at all.
Simply because I had only just heard of NPD because a male BPD friend in the deep south was offered it as an alternative diagnosis if he wanted to switch, and was at the “what in tarnation is THAT?” stage, when Samvak erupted upon the internet and my life.
I knew Vaknin was a conman right from the start, and, to be truthful, though he didn’t admit it as such, he never really pretended to be anything else in private. I have never paid this much >< attention to anything he said on Psychology in general and NPD in particular.
I have NEVER read “Malignant Self Love” at all. It is just too hyperbolic, archaic and badly written to wade through or make any real sense of.
BUT…when I faced rebuilding those articles without Vaknin, after 7 years connection with online NPD, I realised that I hadn’t got the first clue what NPD was independent of Vaknin.
As I dug around I discovered that it was actually very different to the image he presents
Understand me, if someone is abusing you, you need to recognise it and do WHATEVER you need to do to get out of that. I know of one or two abusers who recovered, I also know someone who won a “Readers Digest” cash prize, but I wouldn’t advise anyone to let their life depend on either one happening to them. But not every abuser is “a narcissist” and not every Narcissist is an incorrigable abuser. It is only Sam and his cult who claim that is so (he didn’t in the beginning incidentally, he just “adapted his message” for a greater market share, round about 2001).
Sam’s “thousands of members of his mailing lists” are always exaggerated, even compared to the yahoo figures which he used to inflate himself in the days when a quirk in the software would let you add as many, real or imagined, users as you liked. At lot of the “regular poster” are actually sockpuppets. Unfortunately all this apparent activity DOES attract some real and vulnerable people, who get their heads turned inside out by the toxic little world he has created, even if they don’t get fleeced for any money.
Sadly, most of those who try to stand up against him for any length of time, wind up as bad as he is. They don’t have a lot of choice, because unless they pull out in despair, he has a totally ruthless clique of online “handmaidens” who will stalk them until they do.
Sam doesn’t do these things because he is “a Narcissist in search of supply”, he does them simply because he is a nasty piece of work and it is his nature.
Please stick around? You matter, Sam does not, and besides, just as vampires in fiction fear 3 things, the crucifix, garlic, and sunlight, so Sam Vaknin in his turn fears:
a)Frank criticism
b)Me (which is the reason I posted here)
c)Hugs :o) LOTS of Hugs…
Steve and Kim (and anyone else, like Sam Vaknin, who comes into a free support just to “sell their wares”) do not impress me at all, but I suspect they are rather more “young, arrogant, mercenary and clueless” than in any way malicious.
Incidentally, I am an Atheist and I found his calculated disrespect for the religious faith of others appalling…and a whole new low, even for him. As soon as I saw it I thought of how much it would hurt people like yourself…
But take it from me, he is gone now…
You stick around…please?
Hug back at you
GD
