Crying and Anxiety

Dercum's Disease
#1

Hi everyone,

I have had a rough few days. I have cried for most of the past 3 days. The anxiety was so overwhelming. Has anyone else had this inexplicably? I think it was because I was taken off of the celexa and put on cymbalta and the cymbalta just didn’t work. My doctor wanted to know if there is anyone else that has had this problem. He did put me back on the celexa today…(thank goodness) I have had such severe anxiety that my heart has been pounding through my chest…I can’t understand why, my best friend is coming from out of town for the first time in 5 years and I just can’t stop.

I went to my primary care…or should I now call him my ex primary care today. I fired him. I asked if he could read a bit about Dercum’s so he could treat me…no, doesn’t want to. He flat out told me that he doesn’t care about Dercum’s. You want to talk about rude. I couldn’t believe he said it. I immediately asked for a copy of my medical records. I was amazed that he didn’t care that I am in the middle flare and am having extreme high anxiety.

I spoke to my dermatologist that diagnosed me to find out if he knows one and he already found me a doctor today. He just wanted to know if the crying/anxiety is a dercum’s trait.

#2

Christine,
You are a brave lady, you must realise how strong you are, to come out of all that and still have a sense of humour. I love reading all our experiences and i learn a great deal from them. I take fluoxetine in a morning and amitriptilyne on a night, so thats 2 anti-depressants, I am seeing my gp tomorrow as at the minute i feel numb, (emotionless) not sure if i need to cancel one out or up them…we will see.

geordielass (michelle)

#3

U can relate to you but I think its part of the depression I feel…I hate looking at myself and I cant do what I used to do…I couldn’t even put up a shower curtain …

#4

Christine dear…of course it is part of the DD. You would have to be nuts to not be depressed by our pain level and what this disease does to our bodies. Please tell your doctor that speaking for most of us, of course we are depressed. I go to a psychologist and take amitriptylline which is an antidepressant as well as a sleep aid. If the major life stresses and physical stresses did not depress us before DD…we are sure depressed now. Some of us hide it better than others. My theory for what it is worth is that we are intelligent sensitive women who care a great deal about what kind of a job we are doing in life and about those around us. If we are not all things to all people, we feel bad. We need to cut ourselves a break. I really enjoy talking to my psychologist and I will miss her when I go on Medicare. She said she would give me a discount but we won’t be able to afford it even then. It does us good to cry once in a while. I was a real bawler before my hysterectomy. My dx is actually anxiety instead of depression but the two are certainly related. If I did not have legitimate things to worry about…I would not have anxiety! What could be more depressing than chronic pain! Some of this may be hormonal and some of it is that you have been working so hard to find help for all of us…not just yourself. You attack the DD aliens! I bet they cringe when they see you coming. And those idiot doctors! I am still mad at one from 30 years ago! What happened to “First do no harm”? Some people experience emotions more strongly than others and you are a sensitive person…me too! Do not let your doctor get away with inferring this is a psychological problem. He sees lots of upset people everyday and if not then they are a bunch of cold fish! Eat some ice cream and be glad that you have a loving supportive husband. My good friend who takes care of and supports her husband who is helpless from MS called me tonight. When I think of her or another friend with a 14 year old son with cancer, I remember that life could always be worse. Take a bubble bath and eat chocolate. Tell your doctor that Grandma Sylvia is also depressed from the DD. Hugs and Kleenex to you

#5

Thanks Grandma Sylvia,
You remind me so much of my grandmother, she has the same attitude it makes me smile. I think this was a little differe nt than normal “depression”. I think it was from them playing with my antidepressant. I just couldn’t stop. I have cried before but NEVER like this. I am not depressed either. It is just an overwhelming sense of dread. I think that is what he is talking about more than just the normal depression. I think he means the uncontrollable type. I had even taken ativan at one point and it didn’t touch it. I am calming down now. Better living through good chemistry. LOL.

#6

Christine,

I am just sure that reaction was from being taken off Celexa. The same thing happened to me when I couldn’t afford to fill my rx (before it went generic) and I went 3 days without it. By the third day, I was beside myself, in tears, and had that horrible sense of impending doom. I’m so glad your doctor put you back on Celexa.

Hugs and spoons,
Pamela

#7

Thank you, Sweets!  More info to come.  I promise.  We ALL can make a difference.  I am going to be working with Dr. Herbst to get info on my website.  I am so excited.  This is what will keep me going.

#8

Christine, I tried to switch from Zoloft to Cymbalta in the past, at the request of my insurance!. It did not work as well, and I noticed increase in crying and it left me with a bizzare sweet craving.
I want to say something about depression. I sometimes get the feeling that some of us get defensive when talking about it. I don’t mean depression like feeling blue, bummed out, down, etc. I’m talking about the chemical imbalance in the brain that needs Rx to supplement what isn’t there. I know that depression is a “mental” disorder but as someone who has been treated for it almost 15 years, I think folks need to get past that and view it like a medical condition such as a diabetic that has to supplement by Rx, a chemical that the body doesn’t produce like it should.

#9

OH MY GOSH Christine! WHAT A POOPY DOCTOR!!! I am sorry you had that experience, that just stinks that a doc would treat you that way. I look up to you for your responce to the situation, I am a wimp and would probably just break out and cry… I wanna be like you when I grow up, hehe.

I want to adopt Grandma Sylvia, your replies to many things have helped me too. I am too old for you to be my granny but I don’t care… you’re my grandma now, LOL (whether you like it or not, haha). You are full of wisdom and admired.

I hope you get to feeling better Christine. I see a psychiatrist for my depression and just recently he suggested an anti-anxiety drug. SO, I think it must be part of DD too. (I declined to get on the anti-anxiety drug then because I was still trying to find a doc to take me seriously and thought the psych drugs would make me appear psycho, haha, but now that I have found a good doctor I will be getting on anti-anxiety drugs soon) I take Wellbutrin for depression, it really works wonders for me.

#10

Ok…we are definately all family here. I love each and every one of you. There are certain ones and you know who you are that are super special to me and near and dear to my heart…Hey Suri, you are the little sis. LOL since you are so new. I feel better today. I woke up this morning and all the dread and doom was gone. I didn’t sleep well either last night so it suprised me. Either way I am back to my old self. I don’t think being off celexa for those 3 weeks helped but I know it’s not back in my system yet either. I am just taking my anxiety meds in the mean time.
I am so glad that I found my dermatologist that diagnosed me. They found me another primary care physician that will work with me and the fact that I don’t have insurance. I sent them flowers this morning I love them so much.
Thank you all again for the hugs and getting me through this. It was probably the worst anxiety I have ever had.
I love you all,
Christine

#11

I am sorry Kathieh if I sounded defensive. I understand what you meant. You are the sweetest and btw…I love that hat you have on. I love sunflowers. I have depression too but I think my anxiety is more my problem. My heart rate when I went to the doctor yesterday at rest was 94. I usually get that when I am on the verge of a panic attack. I know what you mean though…my doctor (my good one) laughed at me and said honey, who wouldn’t be depressed. You are a woman and who whats fat lumps. If you look at it that way…he does understand. ok…watch for my new website… lumpettes.com and I am posting the pictures now.

#12

Christine, glad you are feeling better. My sister has more of the anxiety and she has a terrible time adjusting meds. My comment wasn’t to any one person. I know in my parents and grandparents generation, at least in the midwest, any mental disorder was something of shame for a family and I had to get past that myself. I’m not depressed because I have an immune deficiency, or decrums, or bronchietisis, or obesity or any of the other things going on, I have it because I lack a chemical that keeps it from being a problem. One of the 4 cardinal signs of DD is depression and I’ve been treating mine many years before the attack of fat lumps!
I am excited about your web site, can’t wait!

#13

Me too, Kathieh. I have a chemical imbalance that has caused me to be at least mildly depressed since around puberty. I have been taking Celexa for years and would be a wreck without it.

Hugs,
Pamela

#14

One of the 4 cardinal signs of DD is depression and I've been treating mine many years before the attack of fat lumps!

SAME HERE :)  I was diagnosed and treated for my depression long before dercums.  I can't wait to see the site too! 

 

#15

SuRi…You have brought new life into this forum. Your sweet attitude endears you to us! Yes, I am proud to be your Grandma! I have cared for many children in my day. Many of them call me Aunt or Grandma. I love to “fill in” for the children of my friends who have lost their “real” Grandma. I think that we are all one family anyway! I had a great day! I went to physical therapy in the hot pool and saw my therapist who has treated me several times over the years. She is the one who sent me to Dr. Hackshaw who finally diagnosed my DD…I had left articles with the guy therapist I saw for my initial intake exam and she not only read everything, she was very interested and wants to learn more so she can help others get a diagnosed and help with this dreadful disease. She was genuinally upset that I have the DD devil!

John took me to JC Penneys where I got very excited as they had 75% off clearance 50% off that and had $30.00 in coupons. I got stacks of beautiful clothes for my three granddaughters for their birthdays (two before Christmas) and for Christmas. I saved over $600.00. Bai Hua will have a beautiful wardrobe. For a little girl who just came from China in June and has never owned any clothes or toys to call her own during her 12 years at the orphanage…she will have a GREAT first Christmas! I had already got her toys, jewelry, nail design kit, baby doll ect at an earlier sale. I found these beautiful Barbies on-line dressed in beautiful gowns the colors the the birthstones for $3.00 each and got her eight! Can’t let her grow up without Barbies! I had Bai Hua and Kennedy circle and initial what they wanted out of the JCP toy catalog and she still wanted a baby doll and stuff to take care of the dolly. She helped take care of the babies in the orphanage in China and I think she misses having them around! Her gait is not improving and the doctor said he thinks she will be in a wheelchair full-time by high school. A very nice sales person actually helped carry the bags on the elevator and out to the car. The best thing is that they had to give me 38 boxes to wrap the stuff! My scooter was loaded up! I told the cashier it will all be in the bankruptcy, which may become a reality next year when I go on Medicare and have to pay for all of our drugs after the piddley amount paid by Medicare!

So after the shopping spree…my long suffering husband who sat at the coffee shop the whole time took me to dinner at his favorite place MiMi’s Cafe. We came home and I logged on to find these nice messages from my dear friends. It may be the pills talking but who says life isn’t great! Love to Ya All! (Proud to be) Your Grandma Sylvia

#16

Sounds like you had a great shopping experience Sylvia! I need to do that too, and I love JCPenney! It is across town for me but just yesterday my husband told me to get some money out of the bank and go buy myself some clothes. I think he is sick of me in sweat pants all the time. I need to get some loose fitting clothes that are not pajamas! Almost everything I own is either too tight now or just hurts (I have a lipoma on my back that is right at my waist line, it hurts when pushed by snug waistlines)

I smiled at all you wrote Sylvia, especially about Bai Hua having a great first Christmas. That will be such a sweet time! AND about the part with your husband waiting for you. Every time I go to the mall I see all those men just sitting around waiting for their wives. Our mall has chairs and sofas outside each store for men to sit and wait on their wives, men are always sitting on them and looking so excited, LOL!

#17

Hi Sylvia,

Your shopping trip sounds like a blast. Glad you could find such great deals! Sounds like you made a big dent in your Christmas shopping. Kennedy and Bai Hua will be thrilled!

Hugs and spoons,
Pamela

#18

Hi all, I was just taken off of my Celexa because 80 mgs. wasn’t working anymore and my doctor did not want to increase it so I have been on a new one called Venlafaxine at 75mgs. a day. I’m not feeling anything quite yet but do feel more grief than when I was on Celexa. I feel sad and edgy but I know I have to wait for one to clear out and the other to check in…the Celexa had not been keeping me in check like before as I had been on it for 8 years. I’ve tried all the ones you all have mentioned but Celexa was the best. I do believe that DD is a reason for the need for med. no one could exist with this chronic pain and lack of energy etc. I love you all too and you are all my family. Take good care, Bev

#19

Bev,
That is exactly what I started to feel before the boom fell. That was horrible. I hope you don’t go through that!!! I am here if you want to chat. Let me know how you are doing!

Big Hugs
Love,
Christine

#20

Um… I never cry.

I think I need some head help…

I just don’t cry. I hurt… I want to cry…

but I know if I let even a tear out it will never stop.

My gf (girlfriend) Amanda has raelly done wonders for my in this department…

her tears bring my tears… and it helps.

I’ve only cried twice now… but it helps.

I’ve got some issues from the deaths… Ive got issues with people calling me a liar and hypocondriac. saying I’m not a man. it’s all in my head. a woman whines less.

I wasn’t always a non-cryer.

I’m just so sick of the … .

Am I hormonal? Am I blowing this out of proportion?

How the !@$@! would they know? It’s not their life that got ripped away. It’s not their entire plan for the rest of their life going to ----.

It’s not their most beloved crying herself to sleep, feaful that I won’t be able to walk down the aisle.

They never spent 10 years of their lives working towards a now totally unattainable goal of NORMALCY.

ARG…

I’m crying now.