FOCUS on the PRIZE

Narcissistic personality disorder
#21

Well, sounds like Nate nailed that one on the head!  That is some good advice.  Me, personally, I like to scrapbook and make homemade cards for family & friends.  The scrapbooking can be hard cuz sometimes looking at photos will get you down.  I've been working on a scrapbook for my daughter for almost a year and I've only got 5 pages done! 

Keeping a journal is also a great plan.  I find it helps to write down your feelings when you're down, or happy too.  It's like having a best friend to write letters too and you know it will always stay completely confidential.  You can bitch about anyone!

I found a poem today that I had written down for my son, but it really applies to you too.

You have powers you never dreamed of. 

 You can do things you never thought you could do. 

There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations in your own mind as to what you cannot do. 

Don't think you cannot.

Think you can.

Well, it's obviously not a rhyming poem but they're good words.  I'll look forward to hearing from you later, hon.

Sue

#22

When you’re done, you wanna come by my place and pack up & clean? I wish!!!
Ugh, the thought of those 2 chores makes me want to keep my butt put.

Keep up the good work, Heather. I’m so proud.

#23

Ok - sorry I have not written in a few days. Friday I had my interview in Chambersburg and I rocked it — I expect an offer by Tuesday - I had to interview with 9 people. Of course my 2 friends do not want me to leave HBG but it will be so worth it. My 1 friend is supportive and says the change is exactly what I need. My other friend says I am leaving for the wrong reasons. Maybe that is true - I know I am leaving to get away from Jamie and Ashley - this situation can only get worse. BUt on the other side - I have not been happy at my job for years and they have basically pigeon holed me into the same cubicle for 7 years with no chance of promotion. I work for a woman who has the “Queen Bee syndrome” - look it up - it is a real problem. One day she is so nice to me and the next day she is putting me down. She has been supportive the last few weeks but I just do not feel like the job offers me the opportunity for expansion and in this new job I can really make a difference and help them. Plus I can grow in my profession and I KNOW I will be 100% backed by my new boss.

I spent Saturday cleaning my kitchen - And I mean the whole Saturday. I told Jamie about the job and he says he doesnt want to talk about it because it makes him mad. He just doesnt want me to be happy - it is amazing how quickly he will try to pull me down when I AM HAVING AN UP DAY. So anyway he hasnt talked to me for 24 hours because I told him I WAS going out on a date Saturday night. That is how he is — if he even thinks I am talking to someone he will cut me off. The only reason I am writing about this is because I AM STARTING TO SEE all of his games. He will be locked up soon anyway. He has to meet with his po everyweek because he is so far behindon his fines. I have a friend who works for the local police force and they are basically looking for Jamie so they can pull him over for driving without a license. He has 15 convictions for driving without a license (just found this out last week). He is facing 30 -90 days in jail and a $1000 FINE. WE GO TO COURT NEXT WEEK because I have $400 in fines for him driving my car without a license but I already told the judge he will not give me my truck back - the judge told him it is in his best interest to give me the truck back — I know when we go to court on the March 30th - the judge is going to ask me if he gave it back and I am going to tell the truth about it. Why should I have to pay fines for him breaking the law?? Jamie chose his bed - now he can lay in it.

So now I am just going to focus on my new opportunities. I think this will ba a great change.

#24

Way to go Heather…you rock girl!!!
Looking for any jobs in Denver maybe??? HINT HINT. I’d love to have a friend close by.
I’m so proud of you…dating and looking for that new job! Don’t ever let anyone make you thing you are “running away” from this situation. You are not!!! You are making stratigic moves to advance yourself for the better. Hey, you gotta go where the dough is, right? So F*** Jamie and Ashley!
I’m having my own new and oh-so-fun situation with my ex, as you may have read in the slapping your ex thread I started. I’m trying to follow my own advice to you, and stay strong. I’m better than he is. I know this. But it’s amazing how these slimeballs manage to creep ahead when you’re not looking. I should have been paying more attention these past years.
So, it’s proof to you that it’s a never ending battle…but, I can offer you this new advice. Be in controll of you’re money & future money matters. Don’t rely on him for anything, child support or help with bills or any of it. Get as rich as you can on your own and never end up in my situation. He did make the one mistake of not filing custody papers or papers to change the child support so I can use that to act agaisnt him. And I plan on it too.
Well, I’m gonna go. I’m glad to hear that this day you’re on the upside…more notches on your belt in this battle…
I love you and stick with it!!!
Sue

#25

Well its Monday and I am aniously awaiting my offer… Ughhh patience is not one of my strong points… Sue I know everything will work out for you… Just keep your head up and I will be praying for you.

I really need to work on getting my house cleaned up and packed up.

I need to
FOCUS on THE PRIZE!!!

#26

Ignore missbitch. Both of you Heathers…psudiva, she hasn’t got a clue cuz she probably hasn’t ever had more than a one night stand.

#27

When it rains it pours… I have had 3 calls this morning for interviews… wooohoooo I can not wait to put in my 2 wks… Happy days are hear again…

#28

YEAH!!! congratulations…that is really awesome. I am really happy for you…it’s really good to see you happy!

#29

All your posts are about one guy what does your life revolve around him??

#30

HEY GUYS…I THINK DISTURBD IS BACK!!!

#31

This GUY has been part of my life for 10 YEARS. We have children togetherand I love him more than myself. Also he is a manipulator/liar/thief/cheater/ and addict. My life did revolve around him for 10 YEARS – breaking that cycle is very painful and difficult. I am trying my best every day. Every day I get stronger and smarter because of my counselor, my kids, and my friends here. No one judges me and sometimes I do make the wrong decisions but I am only human. I wanted to save him for so many years – now I raelize that he can only save himself.

#32

You go girl!

#33

So I gave my boss notice that I am accepting another job.  I decided the job in Chambersburg is the one for me.  I am going to accept it today.  Of course my boss put a negative spin on it.  So typical..  This is one of the negative items I need to take out of my life because it just brings me down. 

She was like---I tried to do everything possible to help you move ahead here - yeah right - like put me down to other people and hold me back?!?!?! And talk down to me and make me feel like dirt one day and the best thing ever the next.

It just reinforces that I am making the right decision professionally. 

 

#34

congratulations!!!  that is an awesome step forward for you…what a wonderful birthday present!!!  :) 

#35

Diva,

I'm sooooo excited for you!!!  Now's when you REALLY have to focus on the prize....

Keep to your guns....don't let Jamie put any bad noodles in your soup.  OK?

Write me privately and give me all the juicy details.....I see you're not on here so much....which, for you, I'm guessing is good...it must mean you're feeling good and in  an overall good place...

I'll talk to you later,

Sue

#36

Mommy & Sue --- Hey my sister came down for the weekend with my nephews.  We had a great time.  Yesterday I did have a melt down moment and just started crying for no reason at all.  I have only heard from Jamie twice since Thursday when he picked me up at the airport.  He tried to sleep with me and I said told him if he wasnt spending the night then he wasnt staying at all.  He got pissed and got up and walked out of the house.  He did not call until Saturday afternoon.  My sister and a male friend of hers were in the car and Jamie heard him talking he said "is that your brother" - I said "yeah" just because it is non of his business who is in my car.  He asked for Jamie and I gave him the phone.  He then got back on the phone with me and said - "thats not your brother - so now you are taking men to the movies with the kids??"  I said yeah Jamie - thats exactly what I am doing --- you know me so well."  He said "Your a fu*&ing little wh^&e" and slammed the phone down in my ear."  So yesterday he called about 2:30 pm and was like -"Where's Jamie?"  I said he is outside playing-- He was like I guess I am not going to see him this weekend?!  I said you know we have company and he said - "So f*&#king what!  I should still get to see him."  I said that would be great but you are calling in the middle of the afternoon and you know his cousins are here who he never gets to see - let him spend time with them"  He just slammed the phone down in my ear.

OK so lets recap -- He says he wants to see Jamie but he waits until the middle of the afternoon on Sunday to ask to see him. 

I am a hoe because he hears a mans voice in my car - Plus I have no right to take my kids around a man - but it is supposed to be ok for my kids to see him living and sleeping with Ashley while he also comes over to my house and sleeps with me and tells the kids he wants to come home but I will not let him.

Its supposed to be ok for him to do whatever he wants whenever he wants plus cal me out of my name because I put my foot down about him not just using me and then running home to Ashley.

Lets make a list of the past holidays he has basically ruined for me:

1. My birthday (more than once)

2. Valentine's Day

3. New Years Eve - (Which is his birthday)

4. This past Christmas

5. This past Thanksgiving

6. The last superbowl

7. Anytime there has been fireworks. (I love fireworks)  He was always too cool to go. 

Boy it sure is a good thing he loves me so much -- YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

#37

oh heather...i'm so sorry that he keeps managing to hurt you...the good thing is that you are onto his games...according to him the world revolves around  him...i don't think so!  you did good by telling him you weren't going to sleep with him. And if i was in you situation...i would have kept my son home yesterday too...he should be able to spend time with his cousin...you don't have actual visitation set up right??  then he can't just expect you to drop everything to let Jamie go with him...just keep  reminding yourself of the kind of person he's proven to be time and time again...i can't image how hard it is...but you are doing a good job.  How is the moving thing going???  You have a lot on your plate right now...you are doing a great job of juggling it all...if you ever need to chat you know where i am!!!  <3

heather 

#38

Ok - session with Nate today at 4 pm... wooohoooo -- its been 2 wks so I cant wait.  I started my taxes and I might actually get a refund --- wooohooo  told jamie to stop bothering me and go live a great life with Ashley and leave me alone. 

 

good day

#39

good job my friend...stay strong... no more mrs nice guy with him!!!  :)  you have been doing a great job...hope your session was good and you are feeling like a stong new woman!!!

hang in there and please keep us posted!

heather  

#40

So the session with Nate rocked!!!!!!!!!!!!  First of all I had to get a ride from Jamie and he decided he was coming in.  So I did not say anything and Nate was like Jamie - nice to see you.  How are things going - blah blah blah - So then he is like -- "Are you still living wih Ashley?  Are you still interested in reconciling with Heather."   Jamie says sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not.  So Nate was like so what are you doing here???  Jamie says he felt like he did not have a choice in coming --- WHAT??? 

So anyway I then told Nate - Let me clear this up for you -- Jamie and I have 2 court hearings coming up -- One for the truck and One for support -- The only reason Jamie is here is so he can make some 1/2 ass attempt at buttering me up so I dont tell the judge that he never gave me my truck back and so at the support hearing he ends up getting off paying $5.00 a month in support for our son.

I said - Jamie doesnt want to be with me - he wants to use me and I am sick to death of it.

Jamie says - See here comes the other Heather again.

I say - The only reason he doesnt like me this way is because Im not letting him walk all over me and I am not in the fetal position crying over him and what he is doing to himself and our family.

Nate says - Heather I notice a change in you - you seem like you are moving on - are you telling me that you dont want to be with Jamie anymore?

I said Nate - I want him to leave me alone - the only thing we have to talk about is our kids - anything else is irrelevant.  I have a new job and new opportunities - I only want to look at the future --- I want the past to be a distant memory.

So Nate tells Jamie - do you have anything you want to say-- Jamie says no and Nate says well If you dont mind then I would like to finish up with Heather.  I hope everything works out for you - Good luck.

So Jamie leaves and then Nate tells me how proud he is of me and we talked about everything going on in my life and it was a great session.

So I do feel like I am getting over Jamie and all of this nonsense -- it doesnt mean I wont have bad days but it does mean that life is getting better and I think Jamie is getting the message.  I am regaining control over my life and it feels great.

I also went back to LA Weight loss today - and I am 198.8 lbs -- my goal is 140 lbs.  It is going to take a lot of hard work but summer is here and life is getting better.