stay strong heather...that is great that you had such a good session...apparently maybe jamie is getting the hint...i certainly hope so...it would be so great for you to be able to move on to the new job...new house etc.without any baggage!!!
hey, post me about the whole la weight loss center...i was thinking about it...but i couldn't make up my mind...
GOOD JOB!!!!
I'm so proud of you, Heather! I was going to say something about Jaime giving you a ride....but as I read on, it turned out for the best I think. Now he got to see you in a setting where someone else validated you being "the other Heather". And a therapist, no less. It's not like a friend backing you up would make him see anything... but with Nate backing you up... that was good.
So tell me about the new job.... and the move. How far away are you moving? Across town or across state? Will it be far away enough so Jaime won't "bump into you" every day? That's what's gonna come next if he can. When it hits him that you are done, he is going to miss his "punching bag" for lack of a better term. Anyway, he'll miss having someone to walk over so he can feel good about himself. and he may come looking for you.... going to places you hang out...
Anyway, wow, we weigh the same! I can't afford things like LA weight loss... I'm wondering if I can qualify to get a gastic bypass done. I don't eat anything anyway, so I wouldn't miss that.... Knowing me, I'd get it and be the only one to stay fat.
Well, I'm really proud of you, you have come so far.... but don't fool yourself into thinking the battle is won. This will go on for the rest of your life.... since you have a child together. You will always need to keep your strength in check. On days you can't find it, make sure you stay away from him. OK?
LA weight loss costs me $4.50 a week - I had previously bought all of the bars and vitamins - I am just a returning member. I never lost the weight because of lack of commitment. Stress is a bitch. We are too small for gastric bypass believe it or not --- you probably have the same problem as me - you dont eat enough. I usually skip breakfast and lunch and then at dinner I eat a massive amount of food that stays in my system overnight like a lump in my stomach.
As for Jamie - our court hearing over the truck is this morning at 9:45 am. He came by my house last night asking me for money to get a lawyer - I said you probably should have worked on that weeks ago and told him I did not have it. He will probably go to jail today. See he is only nice to me when he wants something. So after he left my house I called Ashley and left here a message on her cell phone and said -
"Your man was just here asking me for money. please handle your responsibilities and take care of his needs because that is what you signed up for. There is no reason that he should be at my house asking me for money when I have 3 kids to support on my own and he is living off of you.
You talk all of that junk about me not being able to pay my bills but he is over here asking me for money.
Also I know you told the police you have been making the truck payment and I dont know if you have been giving him money for a supposed truck payment but I have never recieved a nickel for the truck from Jamie and I paid the truck off in December - so how is that possible plus -
I know he is telling you he gives me money for Jamie but he has never given me a dime for him either so he is just using you for money and that is your problem.
This is what you wanted - you said it was a 3 year plan for the two of you to be together - well congratulations - here it is I guess it wasnt as easy being with him as he made it seem - he's your man & your responsibility - good luck with that - I hope it works out for you."
So I felt pretty good about standing up to him and not giving in and giving him $$$$ plus the fact that I called her and let her know he was at my house and I do not appreciate him asking me for money. So my friend came up with a great idea - the next time he is at my house I am going to take a picture of him at my house and send it to ashleys phone so she can see how many times he comes over harrassing me for money or to be with me. Then if he keeps getting into trouble with her then maybe he will stop bothering me.
OK, but what if he keeps getting into trouble with her and he comes after you for it. This is not a stable man. You have to think of your safety. If you keep getting him into trouble with her and she dumps him over it...he could come after you very angry. Also, if she dumps him and he's free to be solely with you, are you gonna buy into his shit and take him back again?
My suggestion with this is, now you got calling her off your chest and let it stay out of your system. Don't call her anymore.... remember her name isn't in your vocabulary. By you calling her it is still giving them satisfaction of getting under your skin. You have to let it all go. When he comes around tell him to get lost, get a job and quit expecting any money from you - then slam the door in his face. Don't call her... you don't owe her the courtesy of showing her what an ass he is. Let her suffer it and learn all by herself like you did, when he's got a new girl named Coco or something..... then Ashley will know where you are and feel even more stupid. Let that be your satisfaction. It'll happen soon enough, I promise. Guys like that don't change. Once he realizes he can't go to you anymore, he's gonna find another person and then Ashley will be his "fool". You've graduated from 'fool' to strong, independant woman.
OK? Stay strong.
ok - understand my completely twisted thought process. If I call her and tell her he is asking me formoney then maybe she will yell at him and he will stop bothering me??
Anyway you are right - guess what he did not show up for the hearing on the truck this morning but I did get out of the $400 in tickets he got in my name. He has a new hearing on May 16th for driving under a suspended license because he got a lawyer. I guess Ashley did give him the money for a lawyer after all.
Thank god I did not give him any money - WOOOHOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Thank god I got out of those tickets - WOOOHOOO!!!!
Life is getting better everyday!!!!!@
heather…i’m with sue on this one…the farther away you stay from the better…the less you talk with him or ashely about ANYTHING…the better…he has that sick way of being able to know exactly what to do/say to make you cave…DON"T do it!!! you have done soooooooo well…you are so much better without him…he is just an added stress that you most certainly don’t need right now…look at your future…new job…new house…new man!!! see what i’m saying!!! You’ll be just fine…actually you’ll be so much better off!!! <3 <3
Way to go on getting those tickets off of you! But here's the thing with the other thing...(ha ha, that sounded funny) It may piss of Ashley when you call her and tell her and she'll yell at Jaime.. but HE is eating it all up, seeing you get mad and calling her & her getting mad. She's likely getting madder at you too, which to him is probably the equivilant of lesbian mud wrestlemania. He LOVES it. So see, by calling her, he's still having fun with it. If you don't call her and just leave it all alone, he'll get crushed cuz girls arent fighting over him. He'll realize you're too mature for his shit.... you are OVER him and his drama.
With or without a lawyer, he's still gonna be screwed. He can't change the stupidity he's pulled and he can't magically change the name on the title to the truck. You'll get it back and he'll be paying!
Way to go, and keep going!
Well Jamie got pulled over again this Friday - I now have the truck back and he is not getting it back. I aslo had the support hearing yesterday and I did not cave and now he has to pay $279 a month in support. Its not much but it is enough to buy some clothes for our son and some new shoes.
She bought Jamie a brand new 2007 Yamaha dirt bike. I found this out on Saturday when I dropped little jamie off at the house.
It made me so mad because our son doesn't even have a kids bike. This is the 3rd dirt bike or ATV she has bought him - what a waste of money - they live in an apartment complex in the city. There is no where to ride that crap.
It took all of my effort not to roll it into the lake behind her apartment. Actually it was a good thing because it helped me stay strong and go through with the support hearing. I just kept thinking - If they can afford to buy stupid crap like that then they can afford to take care of our son.
Well Jamie got pulled over again this Friday - I now have the truck back and he is not getting it back. I aslo had the support hearing yesterday and I did not cave and now he has to pay $279 a month in support. Its not much but it is enough to buy some clothes for our son and some new shoes.
She bought Jamie a brand new 2007 Yamaha dirt bike. I found this out on Saturday when I dropped little jamie off at the house.
It made me so mad because our son doesn't even have a kids bike. This is the 3rd dirt bike or ATV she has bought him - what a waste of money - they live in an apartment complex in the city. There is no where to ride that crap.
It took all of my effort not to roll it into the lake behind her apartment. Actually it was a good thing because it helped me stay strong and go through with the support hearing. I just kept thinking - If they can afford to buy stupid crap like that then they can afford to take care of our son.
Don't let it make you mad or jealous - the things she buys him. Maddness and jealousy will waste your energy! I do know what you mean. My ex pays $225 a month for our 14 yr old.... WAAAAYYYY below the state minimum of $350 a month. And he lives in a $600,000 house. Out in Colorado, that's basiclly a mini mansion. They have brand new cars, only buy their clothes at the mall (They're above shopping at Target)... but even with all they have, I know that I will never be beaten again or cheated on. That is worth so much more than anything they have.
Stay strong! I'm so glad you got the truck back! You should look into maybe changing the locks or getting one of those stick things you put on the steering wheel... he may try to steal it back - he seems dumb enough.
I'm happy that things are all going in the right direction~
i'm glad you got the truck back too...i'm guessing there's a few more bucks he just added to his long list of fines...
i'm sure the whole support thing is maddening...a friend of mine is getting a whole $30/month for her 1 year old!!! a dollar a day...sometimes less...pathetic!!! keep fighting! he needs to be responsible for his child!!!
ashley seems like the type of girl who likes to rub things in your face and does things to make you feel bad or get under your skin...if she wants to waste her money on a bike...let her...he'll wreck it or do something stupid with it...at least it's not your money!!! :) let him be her problem...one less worry you need....your plate is FULL!!!
hang in there...we love you!!! you are doing fine!!!
wow!!!
stay strong!!! you are doing great things for yourself and little jamie!!
So last night I am at Giant shopping because my oldest son broke his leg and was in the hospital for 2 days and had to have surgery because he broke it at the growth plates - so he came home yesterday and I went to the store to buy him some things for him to make for lunch that were quick - anyway while I am there I turn a corner and there is that oinker Ashley - so then she spends the next few minutes following me down every aisle and I get pissed so I go outside and this witch parked right next to me in an empty ass parking lot. I wanted to punch her in her face. This is not the first time she had showed up somewhere I was. Also this grocery store is no where near her apartment and in fact she has a grocery store 2 blocks from her house --- so why the hell did she come to the one near my house --- yes she does try to get under my skin and mess with me.
UGHHHHH!!!
Heather, It seems like this loser's goal in life is to piss you off. How sad to be her, where she has nothing better in her life to do but mess with you. Just always remember how you are SO much better than she is. You are more mature, you have more friends, you have a great job and YOU HAVE A LIFE. Feel sorry for her. In time, she will be nothing more than a bug on your windshield, washed away and forgotten. In her mind though, she will always think of you as the one Jaime had a child with, the one who was better than her, the one Jaime always tried to go back to. She's a fucking loser and you, my friend, are far from that.
Really, think of her lame ass life driving around to find your car at a grocery store and has nothing better to do than follow you around. By getting angry, all you did was feed her what she wanted. Next time, go by the pregnancy tests and pick one up and look at it, put it back and pick up another, long enough so she can see what you're doing. Then put one in your basket (when you get to check out tell them you don't want it) She will go nuts wondering. Ha ha.
Anyway, you're doing great!!!! I'm so sorry to hear about your son. God I hope you have insurance to pay for that! Poor guy. I'll bet it hurts like hell. Take care of you and your boys and I'll talk to you later,
s
Ok - so my new job rocks!!! I love it!!! It is really quiet and I have my own office -- I am kind of bored but I know that I will be able to have more work soon - It is completely stress free right now - no one yelling at me and putting me down. WoooHooo!!!
Now the bad news -- I am finacially strapped -- My bank keeps charging me $60 for bounced checks and it keeps putting me farther behind -- I wont start getting paid here until April 30th because they only pay on the 15th & the 30th. My ex (Not Jamie)stopped paying support for our child and now I have to go through the court thing again to get it enforced -- he sucks!!! I depend on that money to pay bills and buy groceries. What a jerk!!! All of my credit cards are maxed out so that wont help me at all. UGHHH!!!
Plus I have to drive an hour back and forth to work so the gas prices are killing me!!!!
If I had a million dollars.....
Out here in Colorado, we have those "pay day loans". Except you have to show pay stubs... use your old ones... anyway, if they have those, you could get a couple of hundred... enough to get some food and fill your gas tank... please say you dont drive a tank!
The key to those though, is to borrow AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE... so you don't get trapped into borowing every pay day.... just enough to get by on....
Sorry.... that's the best I can do for ya.
Sue
ok - so I got the electric company to extend me a few more weeks on not turning off my electric and i called support enforcement to get the support order enforcement started - need to wait for them to call me back.
you are right Sue - the key is to borrow as little as possible. That is why I cant wait until I get my sign on bonus - then I can pay off something.
Please tell me I am not the only one who is finacially strapped -- It is hard to survive with how much fuel is increasing - which increases the price of everything else.
ughhh
Oh, Trust me.... You are sooooo not the only one Strapped.... You are in good company my friend..... yeah, I've been driving around on E for a few days now... and I can't afford my own meds... so don't worry... you have a roof over your head.
And you're not the only one who relies on child support either.... the pathetic thing is I only get 225 a month... and that's my groceries for a family of 5!
Ouch!!! My bank charges $35 fee for NSF…and i know it all too well…completely understand how that makes the problem 10x worse!!! i’ve been charged over $300 in just NSF fees before…how do you fix that??? Hang in there…things will get better! So glad you are enjoying your new job!! :) I agree with you about the gas prices too…but if it’s any concelation…i did just hear that in Hawaii it’s $7 a gallon!!! (i don’t know if it’s true or not…but regardless…OUCH!!! )
So yesterday Ashley bought Jamie a car. A VW Passat - a really nice car. Am I upset - yes. So much for him changing. He says it is only registered to her and he is making the payments - Yeah right. Isn't that the same thing he said to me - "Just put it in your name and I will make the payments" - $13,000 later - he never made one payment and now it is only worth $4,500 if I am lucky. I could easily let the police know what he is driving now and he would get pulled over in that too. But I won't. Somehow I have to come to terms that he is with her. It would be easier if he would stop lying and tell the truth but that will never happen. It would be easier if I wasn't still in love with him. It would be easier if he would stop saying he wants to be a family and work everything out. It would be easier if I could stay strong. Why isnt there an anti-Jamie --- like a medication that would make me just not want him in my life?
He says I am making a big deal out of nothing and that the car is his and he could leave her today and be able to keep the car. He says it's not a big deal. I believe that him getting a car in her name is a big deal and just goes to prove that they are moving on together. Do you know she graduated in 2004 from high school and he is 36 years old? How is that supposed to make me feel about myself? She is 15 years younger than him. She never had any kids so she doesn't have any stretch marks. Him being with her makes me doubt myself and my beauty and my value. Why is that?