I think they couldn’t handle the fact that we didn’t want any part of them…
But there is something on this thread that I find a thousand times more worrying…
Bup, is this true?
“They are probably sleeping with their fathers and
brothers like I was…SO pathetic…”
GD
Sam
Your treatment of Bup today is uncalled for, nasty and bullying.
I recognize as we all get closer to the holidays, we’ll all be experiencing more anxiety and more stress, shorter tempers and less tolerance.
But that was way over the line.
Being a N who is taking grand offence is no excuse.
Nobody except Gaye is treating you that badly, I suggest youre taking your ill will out on the wrong woman.
Trisha,
Sam responded directly to posts of BUP’s which are posted directly below his.
Why is it that you find it fine for some to bully certain people, but it is not okay for those people to bully back. Has your mind conveniently forgotten that you started this Friday night with attacks on me and Blitxen?
Gaye,
I suspect you will find this upsetting, but really, your opinions have no value to me.
You are the worst bully I’ve ever come across on the net.
So, now that you know I dont care what you think about me anymore, save your breath.
Aspie or not, makes no difference.
Trisha,
Avoiding dealing with my question for some reason? Would that be because I am right?
Oh Blitzen, be original…This is "SO OLD"
news…So unfunny and really quite stupid of you to bring
up again…
I need no validation thanks. Especially from
you …Because I know that you are pushing the envelope
and pulling my chain…But thanks for the attempt in
helping my self esteem…
On Dec 16, 2007, at 8:09 PM, blitzen wrote:
It’s probably mostly her usual projecting…
After all, didn’t we sit here last night and today and watch her try to figure out how to do some deep, serious, and lasting harm to me (forget it, Sam has had experts trying to do that for years, and I’m still standing, though, at least temporarily, he doesn’t seem to be)…just for the hell of it as far as I can see…and now she tries to call me a bully…all because I won’t play along and pretend she is better than she is.
GD
she did try hard to gig you, those fingers were very busy pecking those keys. I wonder if she teaches her kids at school such skills. Surely she doesn’t use them on those kids, they would get even don’t you think?
Doubt it…
The horrible thing about those places is that most of the kids are so powerless…and the rest are powderkegs…
I guarantee you she doesn’t pick on the powderkegs…
Whenever she starts it looks so practised…
GD
Pheonix and Bup, is always the same old story, I thought we established that weeks and weeks and weeks ago!
Bup, things sound fantastic with you, a happy home, husband and kids and career going well, am really happy with you.
Pheonix, hope your flu is getting better and your not feeling as sad as you were.
mamolie, big hugs
xxxxx
Sam Vaknin said to bup
Search inside yourself why you turned out the way you are.
It is no one's fault but yours.
please read your own words "narcissistic parents"
last paragraph
It is when the narcissistic parent is disenchanted with his child that we see the true nature of his pathological relationship. The child is totally objectified. The narcissist reacts to a breach in his unwritten contract with wells of aggression and aggressive transformations: contempt, rage, emotional and psychological abuse, and even physical violence. He tries to annihilate the real "disobedient" child and substitute it with a subservient, edifying, former version.
read this "The narcissist and his family"
last paraghaph:
The narcissist's inability to acknowledge and abide by the personal boundaries set by others puts the child at heightened risk of abuse-verbal, emothional, physical and often sexual. His possessiveness and panolply of indiscriminate negative emotions-transformations of aggression, such as rage and envy- hinder his ability to act as a "good enough" parent. His propensities for reckless behavior, substance abuse, and sexual deviances endanger the childs welfare, or even his or her life.
MAMOLIE SAYS :Children can not pack their bags and leave home, they are at the mercy of their parents, no choice in the matter and they don't know how screwed up their parent is till they grow up and the damage has been done. Undoing and over comming it is no easy task!
So bup searched for an answer TO the madness,
IT WAS NOT HER FAULT, SHE GREW UP WITH A NARCISSISTIC FATHER AND AN ADDED BONUS OF A BROTHER THAT TURNED OUT THAT WAY, SHE HAD NO CONTROL OVER THAT, NOR DID SHE CAUSE IT.
SAM VAKNIN SAYS TO BUP
It is in YOUR hands to become a productive, creative person and not the whining sponge that we are witnessing (at least on this board).
MAMOLIE SAYS:
SHE IS TRYING TO DO THAT NOW AND OVERCOME THE DAMAGE OF GROWING UP WITH AN N. LIFE PLAYED A DIRTY TRICK ON HER FOR SURE, SHE HAS EARNED THE RIGHT TO WHINE, CRY, BITCH AND MOAN ON THAT ROAD TO RECOVERY. ATLEAST SHE CAN GET ON THE ROAD, SHE DIDN'T TURN INTO AN N FROM THE EXPERIENCE.
It is bad enough trying to recover from a partner but trying to recover from a parent who is suppose to love you that has to the hardest.Give her credit for something! That was so mean Sam, you do know there is nothing you can do when you are a child and it is your parent, father or mother that is has NPD. It is hard work to overcome it all. Isn't bitchen and moaning in one of your victim recovery links, if not add it, it is part of recovery for us.Can't talk it out, cant fix em, cure em and it against the law to kill em, so what do you have left, bitchen and moaning, everybody is safe then.
mamolie
I thought so too Nic that you had worked it weeks ago. You guys took your toys over to another board with restrictive membership so Sam, Blitxen and myself could not play with you. I really do not understand why you guys keep coming back to this board to cause conflicts with Blitxen, myself and Sam. Could it be that you all actually find each other boring?
susie, find your z key, its nest to the x, DUH 
Oh, I see you finally got in touch with your compassionate side…
Do you not see what Bup said?
Does that not make you feel something about something other than yourself?
Because whoever Bup really is, however silly she can be, however many IDs she uses…real fingers typed those words, and it strikes me that, in context, there is an high probability that they are a truth that just “slipped out”…
GD
lol. pathetic
Hello everyone!!! Back from Marple Sports arena, making sure my kids
got some exercise for the day! I am
such a whiner!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Thank you all for sticking up for me. I hate to stick up for Sam
but I was egging it on this morning. I wanted to
have that battle with him, and he knew it, drunk or not. I WAS READY
AND WILLING I think he did it intentionally. He does not know me,
nor do all of you. He doesn’t see that I am ENTIRELY creative and
extremely motivated. Lazy, spoiled, housewife, I am not. Sam was
pushing my buttons intentionally to play the role of my father or a
nasty narcissist. It was the same thing as the Jesus chapter, and I
knew it.
NOT THAT I AM WHINING, but to continue the human race we housewives
clean piss, shit, bloody noses, dishes, laundry,folding and putting
away of laundry, cook three meals a day, clean them up, scrub the
toilets, vacuum, drive GOD ONLY KNOWS WHERE, sit patiently and do
homework with out blowing our brains out, and get no reward except
the smiles (maybe) of our children. Plus we do all the grocery
shopping, meal prep, accounts payable, tax forms, social networking,
doctor’s visits, bed making, dusting, mopping, organizing, party
planning, budgeting, present getting, thank you note writing, school
functions, talking with the teachers, making sure our kids get off
and on the bus, and exercising so we don’t get fat. Plus all the
sexual activity to boot and pretending that we love it so that our
husbands are happy. Thank GOD for vibrators and wine! (Not whine but
wine).
I DID whine all summer, but I thought this was the place to do so
because I needed the support. I was close to suicide myself. My
cousin just wrote me and said that is a known fact that my father
never recovered from his brother’s suicide in 1964. He has played
out his sorrow and narcissism on to his kids and the family kept it
secret from us. We were his pawns. HE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO THERAPY
BUT HE SENDS HIS KIDS INSTEAD.
Realizing this situation was a hard thing to recover from and my
therapist knew it. And I think I am almost there. Seriously, Sam
in a weird way, helped me. I did not break down. I was actually
laughing because I knew exactly what he was doing. I would have been
a basket case 7 months ago. This is EXACTLY what my brother would
have done. The same words he used have come out of my brother’s to
make me feel guilty and delusional like I didn’t matter in the
world. THAT IS THE GAME! And I used to always be the victim. But
I TOTALLY GET THE TWIST. Sam was testing me. And if he wasn’t
testing me, he is just an asshole. WHO CARES if he thinks I am a
lazy, spoiled whiner who has incest? He is a stranger! Strangers
don’t have the right to evaluate who you are.
Some people just don’t understand the value of women. Especially
ones rearing small children. Even women who are doing it question
it. I question it all the time. I had the darn kids, so SOMEBODY had
to raise them. ALL of us WHO HAVE DONE IT, TOTALLY understand our
importance. RICH OR POOR, LAZY OR MOTIVATED. And the fact that you
need to be supported. If your role is questioned or attacked by those
who just don’t get it, some women are more vulnerable to the
criticisms. Admittedly, I was one because my mother was dead and I
had not external support. And yes sometimes I do feel sorry that my
mother has been dead
through out all of this. CALL ME CRAZY!
If Sam actually met me in real life, I think he would be threatened
by me and how much I have to offer this
world. I am kind, considerate, giving, intelligent, rational, and
thoughtful. Those qualities are like darts to
the heart for people with this diagnosis. I GET THE TWIST, THE GIG
IS UP!! NO ONE WILL HURT ME ANYMORE!! Even if what they say, may be
true or false. He is right, It is up to me to be creative. And I
am creative. It is up to me to put this nightmare behind me. I do
take responsibility for my actions. My choices were my fault, but I
did not know I had other choices.
On Dec 16, 2007, at 3:51 PM, mamolie wrote:
Well Bup, I am impressed that you have finally chosen to react differently to your father and brother. Since they were responsible for making you feel bad, are they now responsible for your feeling good about youself? Yea, I know the answer. Please explain this to Mamolie that our reactions to other people are our own personal responsibility, not the other person’s.
Never thought I would say this but Thanks SusieJo. I think you are
right on this one…It is easier to be
a victim. It is harder to be strong enough not to be…
On Dec 16, 2007, at 5:21 PM, susiejo wrote:
Yes it is about growing up. Idealistically we are created equal. Idealistically our parents are suppose to love us and do it all just right. Idealistically our marraige partners are suppose to be perfect partners til death do us part. But that is not the real world Bup and growing up means you realise this. It’s in the first chapter of the Bible that Adam and Eve got thrown out of the Garden of Eden, into the real world with its strifes and hardships.
Mamolie does not have to be abused - Mamolie can get up and walk out any day she wants to. She as well has other options. We cannot change other people but we can change ourselves, attitudes, perspectives, physical logistics, etc.
Bup,
Being a victim is like getting locked up in a dungeon - no escape from miserable feelings. And there are lots of people who want you to be a victim so they can be your savior. And if you are too fixated in being a victim, your abuser gets forced in his role and trapped in the dungeon with you. It really is about depowering people, not empowering.