I kicked him out. Well, I told him he needs to leave and live somewhere else until the army can process the paperwork to send me home.(it’s an ordeal) I was bracing myself for an explosion and nothing… It was all very eerie and strange… unlike him. He was walking out saying “whatever” expecting me to stop him and I said you’d better pack your uniforms and clothes. He said even more eerily, " I will be back." I don’t know whether to rejoice or be scared. I know the anger will come, he just doesn’t think I am serious. I am really sad though. I feel like I am mourning a relationship that was never really there. All based on lies. I don’t think anyone else around here is still awake. My mind is racing…
Hopefully, he meant he would be back to get his belongings or possibly to talk. I’ll be thinking of you too and wishing you well.
vicki, thank you for having faith in us! : ) p.s. my abusive ex was the one i lived with for 4 years while in germany, he wasn’t the last one…too many rotten apples out there. just have to be careful.
anna, are you ok? please post soon so we know you are alright. it was courageous what you did, but as you say, there might be a backlash… can you go to his superior at work and explain the situation? then you would have more protection. thinking of you, ((( hugs )))
You. I admire you! Your courageous. From time to time, as you go through this scary step in life I'm sending you my Angel wings and a super large measure of strength. You may feel utterly alone, but your not, I'm here for you and your others friends are here too. I'll never abandon you. Just know you are loved.
I believe in you. Take good care of yourself. Big Hugs and a kiss on your cheek. You will be settling into my thoughts , wishes , prayers and my love goes out to you girl. Jade
I am so very PROUD of you. That took alot of courage! Yes, I agree. Go to his Superior officer and explain the situation and make sure that it is documented. Make sure that you have PROTECTION from this man. Of course this is scary right now, that is understandable. Please let us know that you are alright, Anna. You are in my prayers and my thoughts. We truly care about YOU.
Do take all that is being suggested to you VERY SERIOUSLY. Too many times the saying " Quiet before the storm" holds more true than we realize . Then we find ourselves slamed right in the middle of it. I’m not trying to scare you but just be sure to not only have your guard up at full alert but be sure to have all of your sides covered. To many times you read about relationships gone WAY OuT of control. BE CAREFUL !!!
that was a big step for you. often when the abuser is gone we are left with a sense of confusion. give yourself time to get in touch with your feelings and all of the good stuff will start to pour into your life. i wish you all the luck in the world. hugs/cyndi
hi thank you for your love and support so much. I fell asleep after I posted and he hasn’t come back yet. I have numbers to shelters, police, and a car to get there if need be. I am so hesitant to call his command because they are not supportive.- they protect him! I was pregnant the last time I called the police so his unit had to get involved and the way the military works is the unit dishes out the punishment. Well- they brushed it under the rug and told me how I was hurting the mariage by being so quick to call the police. He had been charged with assault and battery and he got nithing. Well, ill keep you posted. thanks again. this royally sucks!
YOU WILL BE OK. JUST KEEP THOSE NUMBERS HANDY. KEEP US POSTED.
HUGS
Stick by your stand. Do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSYANCE, trust what he tells you AND, by no means, do not meet with him one on one in any less than very public site.
I have been trained as a male volunteer for domestic abuse for over 65 hrs. My wife was the director of a local, rural clinic in north central PA.
Do not put yourself in any risky or questionable place where he could conceivably take advantage of that setting.
Support in every way possible through this site.
Bill
P.S. I am a former psychiatric social worker and an ordained Lutheran minister. Please do not compromise your self or safety in any way.
anna, sweetheart, thank goodness you wrote back and told us you are ok. i have to tell you something - something i know because i have been in the exact same dangerous situation before - if the abuser believes that you are leaving sometimes the abuse can escalate! he is afraid of losing you - the power he has over you. …are you able to be with another person, a friend, or acquaintance until you actually leave? please don’t be alone with him. we care about you here. please keep us posted. ((( HUGS )))
Anna, I was told by my pd that making up your mind to do something is very hard. Once you have done that everything will start falling in place. Hang in sweetie, I am so proud of you...
Sending tons of hugs,
Sammi ~
Holy Moly. I have been on an emotional roller coaster today. I don’t know if the decision I made was the right one. I called him and he didn’t answer. I think that was a blessing. I was in a very weak moment. I am so very weak right now. I just keep thinking that maybe I jumped too fast at this and that he could have really changed. I hate being the bad guy and that is what I feel like right now. I just want to go back to the “good stuff” but then I am even more torn because I don’t know what of that stuff was even real or just another attempt to keep me here. AHH this sucks. I am soo sad. I can barely type through my tears. How the heck does anyone do this and stick to it?!
A.B. I AM KIND OF LATE READING THIS. WITH MY SON LEARNING TO WALK I AM NOT ALWAYS ABLE TO READ THE POSTS IN THE FORUM.
THAT BEING SAID, I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU! I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE MANY TIMES. I SEEM TO ATTRACT THE VIOLENT CONTROLLING BOYFRIEND TYPES. I KNOW IT SEEMS HARD RIGHT NOW, BUT YOU WILL SEE THAT YOU MADE TH E RIGHT DECISION DOWN THE LINE WHEN YOUR HEART ISNT AS BROKEN.
ANYTIME YOU NEED TO TALK I AM A PM AWAY. HANG IN THERE. I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU.
HUGS AND SUNKIST,
KAYDENCE
Thanks everyone for your support.
THEY DO NOT CHANGE. YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING. PLEASE STAY SAFE, ANNA. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU. CALL A FRIEND TO BE WITH YOU, PLEASE.
Anna, I do agree about the lack of support you get from the commanding officers in the military. I sister was in North Carolina and her husband was actually beating her and one of her neighbors found a shelter for her. She called the superior officer on several ocassions and they said they would look into getting her home. She called him one day and he was furious saying that he was ordered to “handle her” because she was a troublemaker and an embarrassment. We (her sisters) sent her money via Western Union and the neighbor helped her get back home. Maybe you have a good friend or neighbor that can support you during this difficult time. Don’t be ashamed to share your story. If no one knows then how can anyone help you. You are not alone so don’t try to be. I am still praying for your safety and happiness.
anna, you’re not alone in your moment of weakness…i read somewhere it took several times for a victim of domestic abuse to eventually leave FOR GOOD. he has done well in eroding your self confidence. PLEASE DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF. you know at heart what YOU need to do. this isn’t love - although you love him, his love is sick. we want them to change - but they don’t. are you able to get any support via your family / friends there? keep safe : )
anna,
Stay strong! Think of all of us out here rooting for you...I am so amazed by your courage and strength! & So impressed by your efforts to change a bad situation. You are such an inspiration.
Stay safe…and if you ever need a friend to listen, you can PM me anytime.
Susie