I have bad body odor and am thinking of suicide

I have practiced good oral hygiene all through my life and I have been experiencing bad breath and body odor too embarrassing to live with. My dentists and doctors don’t know what is the cost, some thinks its in my head but I see the reaction from people everyday. I can’t live with it anymore as I tried everything and have been paying doctor bills that didn’t even work. I’m contemplating suicide but want to know if I will ever be free from this. If not I will just end it.

Yeah when I told drs and family years ago, no one believed me but I get the reactions so I know its real. Just the other day the janitor was picking up trash in my office, and just blurted out how often do u take a shower. The fucking janitor!!! The lady in my office told him to leave me alone. I was just stunned and kind of blew it off. I too think of suicide often. And yes, this disease is half the reason I think about it. I’m guessing ill go through with it one day. I’m 28 and think life if just too hard. Just saw this movie called control. A true story of a man that offed himself. You should see it it was good

Ive had very similar experiences stick it out mate i believe in the big come back. they will find a cure for this and then we will have a whole new lease of life. im 27 from london

I have been think about you all day. I really did not know how to respond
before to your email but sent a reply due to the nature of the emergency.
Are you still with us or have you ended it. If you are still there, how to
you plan to carry this out? Do you have what you need there with you to do
this? Will you leave a note? Where do you live? What state are you in? Is
there a support group near that can help you? Please advise & hang in
there.

Concerned
Penny

Hello Penelope,

I have not heard from you in a while and I assumed you were doing so much better. Think of you kids and your family. I know it gets hard I feel the same and I suffer from extreme depression and I dont take any meds. I say to myself each day after I have taken back to back showers if I still stink I’m going to kill mysef. But I look at it this way and please know that I dont by any means take your issues likely or no one elses and I pray that this makes you all laugh a little.

But if I kill myself what will it have solved? the world wont stop stinking and there are still others out there other than myself so killing myself solves what really? Have you ever smelled a zoo or a trash dumpster in the ghetto?

What about a gym shower room? You think I stink? you should smell my pitt bulls shit. I recently work in a nursing home and the odor there almost killed hell I did’nt have to off myself having to change, bathe, and dress others did and I’m talking horse loads of shit.

So that wont change this stink that exist in this world, trust me you wont be doing anyone any favors. Hell everybody stinks most just have the worst attitudes and that stinks. I consider myself to be something like a skunk if i dont like you I can spray you with shit odors?

Hi Penelope,

How are you? I don’t think that this email is for me. I think that it was for someone other than me. I go by the name Brown Sugar. But anyway me and a friend of mine are looking forward to starting a support group West Coast for California. I hope that all is well with you.

Take Care
Brown Sugar

Hi brown sugar

Its bigv just wanted to say thanks for the support group and I will pray that Penelope will make it
it gets hard and when you got skills and want and need to work and dealing with tmau it is really
hard to cope. Even harder to make friends people think you are just nasty. I quit what must be my
100th job yesterday the urine order was just so bad. I just continue to say to myself I have something
to offer to the work force and I deserve to be gainfully employed just like any one else.
plus have you seen the price of gas out there? damm near a trillion dollars a gallon!!!

Hi Betsy, I too have this problem. I tried using odor eaters under my armpits and it actually worked. I went to doctors and they gave me antibiotics that made everything extremely worse. I almost stopped working, and I have two daughters I am raising all by myself.

I eliminated eating meat and also I do not eat lettuce of any kind. I am grateful to God that he has showed me that the answer is not in man to cure diseases, but God has all the answers. I don’t know why I have to go through this, but be assured God knows what you are going through. I am praying for you and please write back. Hold on–God will help!

Lamival

Hi Brown Sugar,

I filed that TMAU have different stages. And that some of us that have a negative test it’s a false reading because this is a rare disease this means that people are having hard time accepting that because thay don’t have it in writing if someone would dig a little deeper you would find out that there are different stages every disorder has a stage and I’m saying this because if you look at the symptoms that are similar how can two people with the same symptom be diagnose differently.

Valerie

Hi everyone. Thanks for your replies. I must say this situation is very frustrating. I’m trying to monitor my diet. I know God will help I just wish He will come through for me like right now. I need to get on with my life. I don’t have a happy social life because of this. I thank God though that I have a job. I really want to get over this and to be happy making new friends and enjoying life. Someone please help me with how to monitor my diet. I’m taking a supplement containing riboflavin this will help with digestion/metabolism but it also contains fish ingredients. Is it ok to still take it. Also im taking acidophilus tablets how effective is this in controlling TMAU?

Thanks alot

Dont take anything with fish ingredients.? It will make things worse.? Even some people without TMAU suffer from fishy body odor after taking fish supplements.

Take riboflavin on it’s own.

Just take the vitamin b tablet

hey… Thanks to you all for the information and advice so far. I’m really frustrated, I don’t feel I have anything to live for. I don’t enjoy a close confrontation with anyone, not even to stand or sit beside them. I’m seriously just asking and waiting to die. I have NO joy, no happiness and I can’t endure this anymore. Nothing seems to work. And what’s the use enduring this pain, which I can’t even control. I don’t have a child to live for. I have never even had an intimate relationship.

I believe if i kill myself them I won’t be hurting anymore. I’m contemplating how to carry out this act. I don’t want to do this but there is no joy in living. I can’t endure this anymore. I love the Lord, but I just can’t go through the struggles any longer. Every day i wake up I wish I have a normal life. I don’t know where to turn. I have reached the end of the rope. Some of us are made up to endure suffering, but I choose to quit. It’s not worth it to wake up everyday, with so much pain and shame. God!!! It’s like a nightmare.

Then at work, I have to work with many customers. It’s embarrassing. Just the look on there faces and the reactions makes me want to die instantly. I wish you all the best, hoping that this will end for you one day. I didn’t know that so many people was like this. All I ever dreamt of was going to a doctor and then finding the cause and treat it. But that just seem like a dream that will never come through. No cure??? no treatment??? Then what am I to do? I’m so hurt, I cry over and over. Why must this happen to me?

I promise that I will end it… I am 26 and have never enjoyed life. I have so may pains through this and the embarrassments are unbearable. I will do it. If God cares he would have help me… I know he cares but i can’t go on like this anymore.

It is EMBARRASSING and I hide from my friends at times because I don’t want them to smell my breath.

Betsy,

I know you are hurting and I know you think things will not get better. They will. They did for me. You got to do trial and error. You got to do the diet. You got to do probiotics. You got to hang in there. Someday, if you do these things, you will have a relationship. You will have friends. I have been every where you have been. I had one of the worst case ever. I even cry now but not as much. Tell me what you are eating, drinking and even spicing your food with. Betsy, if I can get some improvement so can you. It never goes away but it diminshes quite a bit. It diminishes enough where you can be around people some. So, tell me what you are doing? What is your daily routine?

I can help by telling you what I am doing. So, let me help. Do not do this. I am your friend.

Write me back and where are you located?

Brenda

Betsy, please e mail me privately.? This is hard to live with…we know…I have thought of suicide so many times before.? But, there are people who would never get past your death…including those of us here on the board.? You MUST be eating something to make things this bad… You probably don’t even know that something you are doing is causing things to get so bad for you.? It is trial and error…part of the problem is probably that you are so paranoid now about it that you assume EVERYONE is thinking you smell when the likelihood is rare.

Let’s look at your job first.? Can you quit?? Are you making such great money that it makes it worth what you’re enduring?? I have found that nannying is a great way to make money, you can be realtively alone and you dont have to deal with bs all the time.? Make sure you work for a family with a baby.? They are cute, sweet and they never complain about body odor… If you arent that interested in kids, animals are another option… Please leave your job and find something more comfrtable for you…

God has set you up to help a lot of folks, for who is better to
encourage them concerning dispear, devastation, and hoplesss than you.
You have endured much more than that alot of folks. Al through you may
not have or see the cure in sight, don’t lose hope for the best is yet
to come.

I have had the same experiences as you and I know that it can build
up. I have seen peoples faces go from happy to very angry in my
presence but I also know that if I give up before my breakthrough than
I will never see the other side of this thang. I will never see God
bring me out , his power,or his purpose for allowing me to go through
this.

The enemy is telling you that nobody will miss you but that is a lie.
We touch peoples lives in many different ways. I’m sure that you have
touch many people’s lives even by what you are going through (not
losing your cool).

Many times I thought that God was angry with me or that I had done
something wrong because I did not get the answers that I wanted and he
would respond to me by telling me that I didn’t do anything wrong.

Don’t believe the hype. I know that what you see and hear is real and
that you live this everyday but pain has a way of disconnecting us
from reality.We can’t see the good things due to the pain.

Hang in there please, don’t give up. I pray that God will help you and
guide you through this process.

Penelope

Write us back and let us know how you are doing. We desperately want to help. Please write us back. We are here to help. You are a special person and we all care about you. So, write us back. Love yourself and you will find things are better.

Brenda

Hello everyone,

It’s very nice knowing that you all cared so much. Sorry for saying all those things about suicide. Don’t mean to get you all worried, its just that when I’m so hurting I can’t help but thinking it.

I’m from the Caribbean. I tried to stay away from all meals containing fish, eggs, cabbage, lettuce, peas, beans and greens. I eat chicken, sausages, rice, papaya, pumpkin, yam. I don’t know what to eat right now. I’ve stopped eating many things. I’m taking acidophilus and drinking a lot of water. I work all day and go to bed very late.

Please let me know if you need additional information.

I understand how you feel for I am in the same boat. All the things that you
are experiencing I am too but I realize that I have alot to live for and I
refuse to take myself out. I am a mother of two young boys age 9 and 6, I am
a student- graduating in 2009, and althrough my friends, family, and/or
doctors thinks it in my head I know better. I am currently looking for jobs
out of the office arena, Please do the same. I am praying as I write this
letter, I once had the same type of thoughts but ruled them out.

Please do not do it. I pray that God will comfort your heart and give you
peace and understanding of what you are going through, for I know that it
has been the only thing that has help me through my low times. Hang in
there… Keep hope alive

Penelope

I can certainly understand the despair from this disorder. But you have to
fight it. It takes time, some money and a dedication to a regime that works
for you. Getting tested is the first step. It’s not that difficult, and I
had a positive experience with University of Colorado. Testing determines
once and for all if you have TMAU or it is some other disorder. Diet,
hygiene must be applied at all times. Some of us have worse symptoms than
others. I did not become symptomatic until 56. I got tested, went to an
endocrinologist, consulted a few times with a nutritionist to whom I
supplied the choline food list and worked hard to get this under control.
Life has been much better, and I value life and will continue to do what I
have to do to have better quality.

I have heard that there is a fairly high suicide rate among TMAU patients,
but you can fight it. It may be trial and error. George Pretti in PA is
the world’s expert. You can get an appointment with him, but it can take 6
months. It may be worth the wait. Please don’t give up.