OUCH!!! I should have made it more clear, she does not have to participate in everything the family wants to her to do, we were talking about her father wanting to take everyone a way for Christmas, I said pulling away not divorcing them.Bup has been soul searching with a therapists and getting clarity. You had to get away, sometimes that is the only choice, it gets more complicated when it is FAMILY, sometimes you have to have very limited contact to save your sanity. Most of us are trying over come the damage from living with one and trying to put ourselves back together, not ready to stand by the camp fire, hand and hand with our N’s singing Kum By YA just yet, maybe??? with a little more time for healing. Welcome to careplace, maybe, exploring narcissism a new path ,is a place with you will find more empathy for N’s. Hugs mamolie
You are the best Mamolie…Thank you for your moral support…
and complete understanding and not devaluing my problems or existence
on this planet. I appreciate it…HUGS…
Mamolie,
thanks also from me for rounding out the picture of someone and a history you know better than I.
I think we’re both wishing bup the same thing and I’m glad this place is here to do it.
Has anyone ever heard of Pyrrol disorder?My friend said that this is what her son was diagnosed with but he seems to have all the signs of NPD.and his councelor said he was an N.I never heard of this.
Mary,I never heard of it. I am challanged, I can’t copy and paste the information on here, do a search for Pyrrole disorder many sites will come up to read. Hugs mamolie
Sam—My new best friend:
I am an independent thinker. I am an artist and a philosopher with a brilliant mind of my own. And I have clung to and studied EVERY word you have written to understand people who don’t value these things as important and appreciate my existence here on planet earth. My own fucking brother and father… How fucked up is that shit? It has really fucked me up my whole life…until now…
I receive LOVE every day from a wonderful, endearing husband who loves every part of my heart and soul. And my magnificent figure to boot. Yes Sam, I am THE WHOLE PACKAGE. I am well educated, very
cultured, worldly, attractive, hilarious, upper class, but don’t shove down people’s throats because I value modesty and other peoples’ value systems. I have dated ROYALTY, been around the world, met many a movie star. But I meet people in the middle and appreciate who they are for who they are. People ADORE ME and are in AWE when I walk into a room…
My husband understands how lucky he is to have me. I am capable of love, I give and take, and I am my children’s WORLD, spiritually and metaphysically. They think I am a goddess, and I am Sam. Because I
emit rays of love. I am a good cook, a writer, a painter, clean up everyone’s shit, and I am an intellectual. NOT A COLD CALCULATED INTELLECTUAL, but I GET THE BIG PICTURE, MORE THAN MOST.
I have wonderful friends who honor my integrity. MOST MEN WOULD BE DYING to respect and honor me as a human being… Not degrade my existence and go to a place of indifference.
In fact Sam, I think narcissists are intimidated by me…
Hugs and kisses,
Bup
Hiya Bup,
I’m so glad to read afrom someone who also can see “the big picture”, in a group recovering from NPD or a relationship with someone who has it.
It validates my own experience of the world and lets me know, I’m not all that unique in thinking that way.
thanks.
Thanks PHOENIX:
I AM SICK OF DOUBTING MYSELF BECAUSE OF THIS DISORDER. IT WRECKED ME FOR 39 YEARS. IT WAS ALMOST TOO LATE WHEN I ALMOST RAN OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. THIS SCARED ME. I FOUND OUT WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON HERE, THANK GOD. MANY PEOPLE DON’T AND SUFFER. AND I DO GET THE BIG PICTURE AND I ALWAYS WILL. THEY ARE SICK PEOPLE WHO CAN NOT SEE PAST THEIR OWN REFLECTION.
Hi, Hope Today,
If you are today’s hope, then I prefer to be hopeless (laughing).
Here’s another one:
If you are today’s hope, I prefer to wait until tomorrow.
And another one:
If you are today’s hope, how does despair look?
Brrrr…
Whatever you say or write is offensive to somebody. There is no end to that.
If we wrote only inoffensive things - nothing would get written at all.
For instance, what mamolie wrote below is offensive to me. It shows no
empathy and is cold and aggressive.
So what?
She has the right to say it. She should say it. And she did say it.
Finally:
The topic of this list is narcissism. It is legitimate to discuss
narcissists on this list. It is IMPERATIVE to discuss famous and influential
narcissists, such as Jesus, on this list. We are here to discuss narcissism
in ALL its manifestations.
Anyone has the right to say what they want but words have meaning. Words can kill!!! Words can make or break a relationship. Words of goodness and encouragement can lift a person up and negative words bring them down. Our world would be a better place with words of love and compassion not of hate.
Only the truth will set you free - and the truth very often hurts.
You gathered here to free yourselves of destructive AUTOMATIC patterns of
thinking that got you into a cult: the cult run by your narcissist.
New Hope,
Its no use saying anything to this N about hope, encouragement, goodness or love.
The only thing you can say to him is that his words are of no value to you.
Hope, encouragement, goodness or love must be based on the TRUTH.
Hope, encouragement, goodness or love that are not based on the truth are
self-delusional, codependent, and lead to eventual heartbreak, trauma and
mental illness.
Rather than arguing about ME - why don’t you argue about what I SAY?
Vincit Omnia Veritas.
Whose truth? yours? mine? Who is to say what is the truth because we each interpret our own truth based on our past experiences. My truth is different from the way you perceive your truth. That is the complexity of life. We must each try to understand the way the other thinks, perceives and feels. That is impossible for a narcissist to do. Therein lies the cause of all the doomed relationships.
In fact I did base it on what you say
about N’s
and about yourself
in your own book.
You dont get what those good things are, you dont know what they feel like, you dont know how to extend them to others, you dont know how they bubble up organically from inside, because you yourself have confessed it just doesnt happen for you. I get that. I believe you.
Envy, resentment, greed and a whole slew of other impulsive destructive emotions bubble up instead. You cant help it. Its who you are. You said yourself theres no hope for you or any othr N to change. I’m not expecting you to.
And because you dont have those good bubbling things in you, I cant take what you say about Jesus Christ or anything else people hold as good and beautiful, as serious or worthwhile reading.
If life and being human were only about scientifically provable mechanical realities, we wouldnt have been given beauty and empathy and love as birthrights. But we do. And some of us because of genetics or early childhood trauma are robbed of ever having it through adulthood.
Thats OK, you’ve obviously learned how to adapt. Thats you.
But that doesnt mean those of us who never lost it, or had it robbed from us, have to value what you say, does it?
We get to take our minds WITH our hearts…we get to take our souls in our wanderings. And like beautiful fiction or art or movies or music, sometimes whats good and beautiful and impossible to explain away scientifically can be more real, than any intellectual hypothesis.
I know you wont understand it Sam. You dont have to. Its enough that the rest of us do.
Sam, I have no empthy,I am cold and agressive. Oh gee, I am sorry, I must have have misread your book, I thought narcissists, lacked empathy and don't care about other peoples feelings. I thought you said you were a narcissist??
Which part was offensive, when I said you are not sensitive, do not expect more from him. I hate to be the one to tell you but your resposes on here are abrupt, rude and not polite or considerate.
You just are not comming across as a warm, soft, cuddly teddy bear.
Funny you should bring that up, I am confused about this board and what has gone on. You say we should question everything not belive blindly. I believed your book was accurate at describing an N and you can not fix one.
I thought I finally understood, if it walks and quacks like a duck, it's a duck and you treat it like a duck.
I was thinking the "what if" and what if, the other information you can down load is right? What if we are letting you get away with being rude. Maybe I should not be saying that is Sam, maybe you can be changed and healed if we put more effort and time into it.
I was thinking maybe I should go to my local police station and alert them about you and start building my support group of people, and get them to help me out with you. Maybe if everyone gave you more empathy, you could be helped.
Maybe under all that abruptness, you are a just a soft, cuddly ,teddy bear.
Which is it Sam?
What is the truth?
Hugs and Kisses mamolie
What a presumptuous and pompous - dare I say: narcissistic? - post you
wrote.
Actually, I am an awarded writer of short fiction and poetry …:o))
Distinctly non-scientific pursuits.
http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/sipurim.html (short fiction)
Hi, mamolie,
Another empathic, non-aggressive post from you (laughing).
This time I don’t even understand what you have written. What a jumbled
rant!
Please: no hugs and kisses, you are definitely not my type (or age, by the
looks of it) (laughing again).
Sam
Exactly. Well-said.
That’s why you should read what I have written and only then agree or
disagree with it.
WHO wrote the essay is irrelevant. The only thing relevant is what the essay
CONTAINS.
Those who avoid reading the essay about the pathological, malignant, and
psychotic narcissism of Jesus are afraid of what they may discover about
THEMSELVES. They are afraid to PERHAPS find out that they MAY actually agree
with it! They take NO CHANCES. They are COWARDS.
Sam