STOP ACCUSING ME OF TWISTING YOUR WORDS. I HAVE SEEN THE PMS YOU SEND TO LINDY. YOU THINK WE ALL ARE THE SAME PERSON. DREEN, BON AND LINDY. YOU ARE AMUSING. YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY (SAID WITH SINCERITY NOT SARCASISM) I AM ALSO BLOCKING YOU AND PRETTY MUCH DONE WITH THE BS FROM YOU. YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT ME IN A THREAD BUT FROM NOW ON I WILL IGNORE YOU. NOT WORTH IT. IF ANYONE IS 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE IT IS YOU. WISH YOU THE BEST AND I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR YOU.
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH FIGHTING? I VIEW CP AS MY SECOND HOME, MY FAMILY. THE FRIENDS HERE THAT I HAVE MADE ARE SO DEAR TO ME. BUT WHEN I COME ON AND SEE FIGHTING ON THE FORUM IT MAKES ME NOT WANT TO COME ON THE FORUM ANYMORE. GRANTED, NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT THINGS. AND YES, ARGUMENTS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN. HOWEVER, THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING. I DO NOT THINK THAT THE FORUM IS THE PLACE TO WAGE AN ATTACK, OR TO CONTINUE A FIGHT. IT MAKES OTHERS, ME INCLUDED, FEEL REALLY SAD AND UNCOMFORTABLE.IF SOMEONE ANGERS YOU, PM THEM BLOCK THEM OR REPORT THEM. DONT PUT IT ON DISPLAY FOR ALL TO SEE. THEN MORE PEOPLE WILL JUMP IN IT AND IT WILL BECOME A CP SMACK DOWN. I VALUE EVERYONE HERE AND I AM NOT BY ANY MEANS TRYING TO SOUND PREACHY. I JUST WOULD LIKE THE INNER FIGHTING TO STOP.HUGS AND SUNKIST, KAYDENCE
me too Kay, me too
thats why I’m inviting them to participate with me in coming to a mutual understanding and peaceful, respectful resolution.
I’m sorry my difficulties with the others is causing you distress. Its not my intention. I appreciate your voice in this too.
Dreen my invitation still stands for you and your buddies.
Listen
I COULD have cut andpasted plenty of stuff I’ve received in my Inbox too, some of which would raise eyebrows because theyre really ARE nasty remarks meant to hurt me, not things I “take the wrong way”. I dont do that, and I DONT return in kind because as I said, I dont want people to get ugly stuff from me. I have consistently been respectful. Even to you, despite you doing this very sort of disrespectful thing over and over again.
But what I AM going to do is copy and paste MY OWN WORDS, because if you DID read my PM’s to Lindy you would have read these of my words
“I sometimes wonder if you and Dreen and Bonbon are the same person”
accusation
noun
- a formal charge of wrongdoing brought against a person; the act of imputing blame or guilt
- an assertion that someone is guilty of a fault or offence; “the newspaper published charges that Jones was guilty of drunken driving”
wondering
verb
- To be filled with curiosity or doubt.
v. tr.
To feel curiosity or be in doubt about: wondered what happened.
Two VERY different meanings. So I will ask you the same I ask of Lindy and Bonbon, to read more carefully so these wrong assumptions and/or twisting of my words/intentions does not take place. I think that may be why you consistently read nastiness in my writings where there is none.
Now, regarding you saying:
“FOR NOW YOU HAVE YOUR OPINION AND I HAVE MINE. LETS LEAVE IT AT THAT AND TRY TO BE CIVIL EVEN IF WE DON’T AGREE ON CERTAIN SUBJECTS. IT IS THE HOLIDAY SEASON AND I WANT EVERYONE TO ENJOY.”
Thank you VERY MUCH!! Thats EXACTLY what I’ve been working towards securing between us all. I sincerely hope it holds this time, at least until the New Year. If it does I’ll be very pleased. And I bet everyone else will be too.
HAVE A GOOD NITE
i AM NOT BEING SARCASTIC EITHER WHEN I SAID THAT.
lets hope that trend is over too then K?
if youre sincerely wishing me a nice night, then please let me extend that same wish for you too
and for tomorrow as well
Oh my gosh Steve, I am SO sorry I think I missed one of your comments.
You don't have to call me a friend. I am good with that. But I do consider you a friend
You know I've appreciated your kind and gentle heart since I arrived. And I'm glad even though I rarely accept friend invitations easily, I appreciated you "hanging in" with me during our disagreement, because it did create admiration and trust. You ARE my friend you turkey!!!
I can only say I echo Steve, Spirit River and Vickie.
Phoenix, stay put! And, just as a soldier deserves recognition for service to their country and all the lives the have pledged and paid sacrifice to defend, I recognize and thank you for YOUR service in a job that (admit it, ppl) few would want and fewer able to do well at. Something tells me you do. If you can’t confound them with your insights, you wear them down with your tenacity 
!
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the young lives you work so hard to turn around and just plain SAVE. As a recovering alcoholic/addict, I know what’s at stake, and what the future holds for those who don’t have a gal like you who “has their back”, and won’t take NO for an answer to a still salvageable youth’s self destruction. Alcoholism and drug addiction is suicide on an installment plan and it starts out appearing anything BUT. But it is, I can tell you. It seems to take away the pain, then becomes the root cause and destroyer of any chance or possibility to stop the pain for so many. Like me. You and I have the same “too direct” approach at times. Maybe we’ve seen too much to mince words about certain things. I find it kind of has infiltrated my way of communicating overall. Sugarcoating and talking around things is something I find impossible to do anymore. Life is too short, and there is too much at stake. EVERYWHERE.
Stick to your guns, lady~ here and at work! And for so many, past and present you, thank God, have fought for …
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR WHAT YOU DO DAILY FOR THE YOUNG “OLD” SOULS IN DIRE NEED OF A CHAMPION FIGHTER LIKE YOU!
Still GraceD
Grace (smiling and tearful)
thank you.
I just realized you and I had our problems communicating once too! I seem to make good friends with those who hang in there with me until we begin to truly recognize each other as women, human beans, hearts and souls.
I realized over the last 24 hours or so when it comes to conflict there are 2 things happening for me.
The first is I feel the strength of my convictions. I dont step into the frey unless I feel the need in my heart and soul. Unfortunately these days I may just be a little too rigid in my need for firm clear boundaries with people. I would apologize for that but I know in my bones that this is a valuable phase of my recovery, and I wish I’d had someone teach me this stuff sooner in my life, perhaps I wouldnt feel as much like a bull in a china shop as I have the past few days.
The second is I dont find any of this pleasurable. Conflict is an energetic and dramatic state BUT it brings with it a lot of anxiety and tension. Kay posted about how upsetting she finds it. It aint fun from this end either, so I can relate Kay. All I can say is I get battle weary and need to withdraw and get grounded in something peaceful and of nature. Tonight it was listening to my sons breathing as he was asleep, and the sounds of the cold autumn rain outside.
I absolutely DO love my work, and I hold in my awareness not many people can say that so I also consider myself lucky to be there. I didnt write about my work to toot my own horn. I assume everyone on this forum has talents and skills and a big heart that touched people in this world. Its not people with hard little red walnuts in their chest cavity that get depressed (in my experience). Its those who have the capacity to love, and who also need love in their lives who feel disappointment, pain and emptiness acutely.
I wrote about my work because I wanted to flesh out the picture of me a little, because it started to seem to me like the only thing I was posting anymore was me being “firm”, and as I said, thats only one facet of me.
I also hoped that as Spiritriver said, we might do that here in this thread, more than just me, so MY picture of you others, especially those with whom I have an ongoing conflict, could be fleshed out. Afterall I am a newcomer, I dont know many people’s stories here, but I think SR is right, if we had a better understanding of where each of us is coming from we might recognize where the defensiveness comes from too.
And I think I also wrote about my work because I really DO value the ensemble cast I work with. Each one is a character. Such distinct personalities. Such a varied field of gifts and skills and perspectives that together as a team create something rich and broad and valuable to any individual looking for solace, company, compassion…humour. In any given day, some student who needs SOMETHING specific from one of us has a good chance of finding it.
I was saying to Dream the other day, I dont believe for a second my way of seeing or doing things is the only right way. Not at my work, and not here. I’m not looking to convert anyone. I only want to stake a place for my voice, and my perspective, among the rest of the ensemble cast of varied voices and perspectives. There have been times as I tried to say, where a drill sergeant was what I needed, and others when it was the last thing I needed.
Its also why I jump in to protect the space for each varied voice here to have its say and not be quieted.
GraceD your SO kind words humble me. Its easy for me to take responsibility when something goes afoul. I do not always find it easy to take responsibility when I do something good. When someone as eloquent and gracious holds up a mirror, its not easy for me to look, but I’m trying to let it sink in. Thank you. Touched 3 times in as many days! wow.
Perhaps the universe is supplying the very things my armoured-up soft pink heart needs, who knows.
I am very happy that one of you has met me halfway in agreeing to peace, at least for now. I’m moved by it. it helps make what sometimes feels like a hard world, a little softer.
But I also feel somewhat delicate tonight and so I feel a need to withdraw a little…to listen to the rain outside…to the windchimes one of my neighbouring condo units has tinkling in the breeze…to turn off CNN for awhile!!!
I hope some of you will write to me here, and flesh out my image of you more. I’ d like to take some time to get to know most of you better…this heterogeneous ensemble cast of characters 
“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” - Carl Sagan
and yet again, I apologize for writing TOO much.
its a bloody curse!
To Kaydence, Phoenixx and all CPers~
I didn’t realize that Kaydence had voiced EXACTLY what I had wrote to you privately Phoenixx 'til just now. To give you a further example, I’ll share a dirty, little secret or two…
I started watching Jerry Springer this past year after losing my job. This was mostly due to the fact it has TG changed somewhat and is way more tongue and cheek. Still, not necessarily proud to admit it! Why? It is basically a high energy, screaming CONFLICT with a lot of verbal cruelty thrown in and from the audience members, too! It’s almost a blood sport with no blood-like the home I grew up in could be. …WHY AM I WATCHING THIS??? I confess, I like Jerry Springer, the guy-NO!, not like that!) Anyway, while he was doing his Dancing with the Stars bit, Steve the bodyguard became Steve Wilkos, ex Chicago cop, and now talk show guy. I stayed tuned in for him as well. His heart is on his sleeve, and he was all about helping people. I looked forward with excitement when I heard he had gotten his own show…Yet, after it began, I would keep turning it off-why? No matter if what he was fighting for was right and true, he had adopted a bigger style- more VOLUME!, some chair throwing and a bit of a bullying technique-even if the guests deserved it for skating around the truth or outright lying. I actually wrote to the show and said basically- "I know you fight for the abused children, but me as a viewer and one who grew up with a rageaholic, CAN’T WATCH YOU! I CAN GO VISIT TO GET THAT! Plus, as was with me growing up, THE MESSAGE IS LOST WHEN PRESENTED LIKE THAT. I tuned out then and I’m tuning out now! No, they didn’t answer, but I am seeing a shift-I don’t think I was the only fan to write in!
What am I saying? I can acknowledge that conflict in and of itself is not a bad thing. But there are those who for whatever personal reasons, avoid it because it is upsetting and disturbing, or? a walk down memory lane! So I think the same can apply at CP with so many types of personalities-gentle or wounded. I’m just suggesting to all, PICK YOUR BATTLES and remember that you can undo yourself and your message by your presentation and for some, your bringing personal attacks on others into your “point”. And you are surprised when ppl respond??? Still flaming, folks, that is. I will say that while I have seen Phoenixx pick up, or refuse to put down the gauntlet, lol ; ) I have yet to see her FLAME.
So Kay, I feel you : ) Phoenixx, I feel you, too! ; )
I leave you with one of my favorite quotes, maybe I’ll make it my signature…I think it’s what you’ve been trying to get across, Phoenixx. And we MUST grow!
S_G’d
"I’m a pilgrim on the edge,
on the edge of my perception.
We are travelers at the edge,
we are always at the edge of our perceptions."
~ Scott Mutter, Surrational Images
(He is a photographer and graphic artist-his piece that contains this quote is awesome! Google him or quote and hit “Images”…)
P.S. edited for grammar/spellcheck only!
(edit, I’m hungering for quiet for a little while - my own, so I’ll come back to your response later)
Thanks again for your contribution GraceD
Hope you have a happy holiday
Calling people, “Mean girls” when you don’t know any of them personally, isn’t exactly NOT flayming, ya know…but that’s o.k, 'cuz it isn’t me, bon or dreen, uh-huh. Get on the beat 'em up bandwagon.
FPD Symptoms: 1.Name Caller: This defines the flamer. “Flamer” means “name caller”… --> 2. Competitive/argumentative: flamers are fighters; verbal brawlers. We greatly enjoy arguments for their own sake, and will start flame wars intentionally… --> 3. Amoral: we think that our insults, verbal abuse, character attacks, and even death threats are perfectly acceptable behavior, once “justified”… --> 4. Vengeful: flamers believe that once an insult has been received, it becomes perfectly acceptable to return the insult, or even to embark on a long running insult stream… --> 5. Deceitful: we see nothing wrong with deception and distortion as long as we’re not caught… --> 6. Narcisstic: we have extreme vanity, taking the form of an exquisite sensitivity to anything which even SLIGHTLY resembles an insult… --> 7. Paranoid: we flamers constantly display secretive behavior, being careful to never freely discuss personal info about our schooling, experience, everyday lives… --> 8. No self-doubt. Perfect people never monitor themselves to avoid mistakes… --> 9. Self-blind: No insight into our own flaws and foibles… --> 10. Hypocritical: totally enmeshed in a self-serving bias: “when I do something, it’s a pure and justified deed, but when you do exactly the same thing, it’s a shameful and disgusting PLOY.” --> 11. Self-important: we have a very low opinion of others, and an exalted (if dishonest) opinion of ourselves… --> 12. Denying/projecting: We cannot see reality honestly, but must constantly manipulate it by erasing some parts and distorting others. --> 13. Pervasive, long-standing, intense symptoms --> “Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.” - anon megalothymia - the need to be seen as being superior to other people.
thank you for your kindness Dreen
TY, Lindy~
“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.”
I could not agree more.
S_G’d
Have a Happy Thanksgiving, Sweetness.