Resolution & Solution!?!?!?!

Narcissistic personality disorder
#41

I think it must be unbearable when children are involved…and I think its amazing mamolie and mormor, and many others im sure ,stay/stayed so long in such a difficult relationship…wow no wonder you ladies want to warn off the younger men and women. Wouldnt we all like to stop others from being so hurt if we could?

when I think about it as soon as my friend falls in love I wish I could warn the guy who it is he dealing with…and some other friends, tho Im sure Im unusual in getting SO close as I did ( some strange need from my side I guess)

I was all for not letting go and trying to make things work as tho giving up is something bad…and thats silly really…it reminded me to some cool words I once read…

“Letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn’t even feel the same is much harder. Giving up doesn’t mean you are weak! It only means that you are strong enough to let go!”

I think I need to read that line every day…Im not weak or failing if I choose to give up…I so wanted ‘hope’ to believe that it could work on a level at least…and just now Im really confused what to do…

#42

You are so right about all of it. I guess in a way, my education, I
have a master’s degree, has given my
more of a voice, and it is socially unacceptable to bully women in
society anymore, although it STILL goes on… So my standing up to
them, although very scary, was my way of showing that I will not be
treated like a scullery maid.
On Sep 22, 2007, at 11:59 AM, mamolie wrote:

#43

Thanks Mamolie. You are right about all of this. I wouldn’t have had
a CHANCE if it were 70 years ago. I am feeling better these days. I
think I know what my boundaries are with my dad. (last part of
therapy). If he
uses SUPERLATIVES to describe my N brother, I will just tell him
that it hurts my feelings each time something does hurt my feelings.
I know he won’t know how to deal with it, but I can’t keep up the
fascade any longer.

Perhaps, like Henry Fonda, in “On Golden Pond”, he just needs to be
told (my figure
is not like Jane Fonda’s in that movie! : > }). I think of my
father as a bit like Henry Fonda, who could never
give Jane full acceptance and treated her with total indifference.
Her mother committed suicide, so he obviously compared the two women
and never grieved properly. I saw her on Larry King Live a few
months back and I wanted to jump on the stage and tell her it was NPD
that he suffered from. There are a lot of parallels. She would
twist herself into pretzels (literally and figuratively) trying to
please him, and suffered much emotional turmoil. What Jane didn’t
know was that it wasn’t HER fault. He was totally shut down
emotionally and could only see things that he wanted to see. Her
perfectionism in reaction only made Jane suffer more. Sad, sad ,sad.
It makes me cry because MY WHOLE LIFE has been one big twisted PRETZEL.
Now, I just am who I am, not good enough or good enough, WHO CARES?

On Sep 22, 2007, at 11:59 AM, mamolie wrote:

#44

over the last few weeks i have realized that i spend ungodly amounts of time focusing on HIS disorder… what if I …(we) spent this time focusing on ourselves?( like they do) what if we catered to our inner child, our likes and dislikes? what if we no longer placed them in the center of our universe and instead put ourselves there? easier said than done… I KNOW… but if we can give it just enough time … what would happen if we were not talking about NPD right now and instead we talked about co-dependency? would we still want to be with them?