does anyone else here feel so very sad that they lose who they are? am trying to shake this as i feel i’m going backwards. i recently came off my meds as they weren’t working anymore.
So am I Sammi. I draw strength form the posts that I read. When I read that someone feels like I do and how they respond to it I feel that I too will try to look at things in a like manner. Thanks for sharing yourselves. When you do, you do so much good for others.
Had the same feeling and iam on meds!!! sometimes for me its taking that tiny moment of sanity before it gets gobbled by insanity and the gremlins that brings!
yes, i feel that too, that i can be too much to handle and then i feel ashamed and try to keep it all in and “be strong”. things like the weather (the pressure as in thunder storms) and a week before my period make me plummet, so i’m riding that too…i know i’m a chaot, always on a roller coaster. on the good days there’s just the tiny bumps. are you also having a problem with endless fatigue? maybe i should drink more coffee…anyone got tips for that?
i sometimes feel i’m making progress and then fall into another black hole. yes, there’s a lot of stress. but i wonder whether i’m just incapable of handling life… it seems having a thicker skin and an emotionally supportive family / friends helps a lot. i’m lucky to have this special man in my life. i hope you feel better soon. looks like we’ve got to plod on for a bit…
I feel you. It seems like life is just too much for you to handle some days. You are grateful for your support network but at times you feel you are riding on their coat tails. You feel that you must be getting on their nerves. Some days you make progress and feel good and then other days you feel as if you have just wasted the entire day. You feel guilty and anxious. Yep. Sometimes those black holes are everywhere. I’m right there with you, Yellow.
My fatigue is not physical. It is emotional. I just don’t want to be bothered. I can’t make myself get up and do what I need to do unless, of course, it is for someone else. Then, I am angry but I will do it. But, I do find myself downing the Dew when I don’t have any physical energy. The sugar and caffeine, although no good for me, work wonders.
Hi, yellowrock,
I often think that I am just incapable of handling life. But then I look around and see...well, I've handled it for this long. That can usually keep me going when times are darkest. No matter how many years you've been on this planet, well, you've handled life this long. That suggests that you can handle the rest...
I try to stay positive this way, but I admit, I don’t always.
Good point, St. Yesterday. I made it this far. What’s the worst that can happen? Right?
Just reading what all of you have written, I have to say I agree with everything you all have said. I have been off line and very down the last week. You guys have really expressed my feelings. What more can I add, except we really do have a lot in common. We are all in the same boat. I’m so glad we have each other…
i have lost who i am before only to awaken and realize i was not that person at all. growth is like that. we are constantly shedding layers to ultimately uncover our true self.
I ONCE KNEW WHO I WAS ONLY TO FIND THAT I SOMEHOW LOST MYSELF IN THE ROLE OF WIFE AND MOTHER. I DO NOT EXIST ANYMORE OUTSIDE OF THESE ROLES. I AGREE THAT BOTH BEING A MOMMY AND A WIFE ARE VERY IMPORTANT AND FULFILLING. BUT, THERE NEEDS TO BE A BALANCE. ONCE UPON A TIME KAYDENCE EXISTED NOW I AM NOT SO SURE ANYMORE
Then, your children grow up. In my case, the marriage ended. When I went back to look for me, I didn’t know who or what to look for. I can’t even remember what I liked to do before. I guess this is okay because now I am free to become whatever or whomever I want to become. The question is “how”?
I can’t believe how much you guys sound like me. If anyone finds me, I will give a reward…
And there is strength in numbers. When one feels weak you can be sure there is someone that can help you take each step. Just look to your right arm and to your left arm and know there is a friend at each one to help you cross the street…
i feel as though there is no me to find (all models have failed spectacularly)- and i’m just too damn tired to build yet another new one.
saintyesterday, so true!..“I often think that I am just incapable of handling life. But then I look around and see…well, I’ve handled it for this long. That can usually keep me going when times are darkest. No matter how many years you’ve been on this planet, well, you’ve handled life this long. That suggests that you can handle the rest…”
nyteyes, i hope you soon feel much better and are able to find the real you again, hugs…“i feel as though there is no me to find (all models have failed spectacularly)- and i’m just too damn tired to build yet another new one.”
cyndi, sounds like an onion, that is what i picture. i suppose we as humans are ever evolving. i think we pretend to be something or someone sometimes to make it through (i don’t mean in a way to deceive others) - alike to putting on make up or wearing a certain costume. and sometimes the people around us EXPECT us to behave in certain ways. the pain must cover us and blot our souls, so we begin to lose who we are. i think the closest i think i’ve ever come to being the real me was before the avalanche of problems - does that make sense?..“i have lost who i am before only to awaken and realize i was not that person at all. growth is like that. we are constantly shedding layers to ultimately uncover our true self.”
sammi, all in the same boat! lol …“I can’t believe how much you guys sound like me. If anyone finds me, I will give a reward…”