SAM'S DAILY LINK Sex and Personality Disorders

Narcissistic personality disorder
#23

Blitzen,

How do you know this, Blitzen? How? I talk from my own experience. I know what Sam is saying relates to my situation. I don’t ever pretend to be an expert on any of this, but what Sam says applies to me and I have read many articles, books, etc. I don’t understand your problem with him. I don’t know if it’s because you are trying to stick up for those diagnosed with this disorder, and you are here to tell differently. I am just telling those who may want to listen, that Sam is right on with my life experience with my N ex-husband, and if they want to take their own experience and apply this information to their own situation, that’s great for them.

SuzieJo, I am confused. I don’t have to question my ex-husband’s love for me since learning about this disorder. If he truly had LOVED me AND his family, he would never had taken up a new family the way he did. It was NOT NORMAL. He did not love in the true sense of love, ever! When I was with him I never equated it to be a lack of sexual desire. I don’t believe it was EVER a lack of sexual desire as much as it was a lack of an “intimacy” thing. The fear (for a lack of a better term) of being intimate caused the lack of desire, and that’s the difference. I do not believe he ever loved me in the truest sense of the word. Do I think his new wife is dealing with the same kind of problems? NO! Not yet anyway. This new “narcissistic supply” is what he wants: she has money, a membership to the prestigious country club, etc. He does not want to lose that. It’s all too new. I also don’t know her, and she may very well be a narcissist herself, (not uncommon). Do I think things will change now that he is in his 50’s? Yes, possibly, but my question for Sam is, even though I believed he answered it, does age make things different out of necessity?

I ask Sam because he is an admitted narcissist. If there is anyone else who also is on this forum, I would like to hear your response to what Sam indeed has to say, other than that, it is just information to take or leave, and I have decided to take what is being offered because it applies to my life.

Mariel

#24

I believe they don’t change (as I have them in my family and have
seen them age). The morph like power
rangers. They know which image they need to be to get to their
acclimate to their next fix. Think of it as changing places to shoot
the heroin needle. One place is all used up, move on. BELIEVE
MARIEL LEE. THEY DON’T CHANGE. YOU ARE SO LUCKY to have rid of
one… Don’t analyze it. BE FREE.

On Dec 14, 2007, at 9:55 PM, mariel lee wrote:

#25

Sorry, it is Friday night. My slurring is coming out in my words.
Three beverages into the night. They know which image they need to
acclimate to in order to get their next fix. Like changing the place
where you put your heroin needle. It is just the same thing as heroin.
On Dec 14, 2007, at 10:01 PM, bup wrote:

#26

Mariel,

I have a slight problem with you saying that what Sam says relates to your situation when you don’t seem to have a clue what he actually said…and I have a bigger problem with you deciding that if what Sam said did relate to your situation it would mean he was totally right in a more general sense.

In this instance, what I have against Sam is that he plagiarized half of what he is saying from me, and then made up the rest as he went along, and got it very wrong…now how in the world would I be enthusiastic about that?

GD

#27

THEY DON’T SEEM TO “CHANGE” WITH AGE. THEY JUST PERFECT THEIR TACTICS. MINE DOES THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN. HE’S 64 YEARS OLD AND STILL GOING STRONG. BETWEEN ME, THE EX GIRLFRIEND AND THE NEW ONE, WE ALL ARE BLONDES, GOT THE SAME SHORT HAIRCUT THAT HE TALKED US INTO, GOT US ALL TO HELP HIM OUT AT HIS WORK FOR FREE AND THE LIST GOES ON. SO NO, THIS ONE ISN’T CHANGING. AND BY THE WAY HE’S BEEN THROUGH COUNCELING TWICE.

#28

There’s really no good reason to argue with anyone about their personal experience.

Its their experience.

Their feelings. THeir responses. Their opinions.

Its their questions, curiousity, search, journey.

Mariel Lee, carry on.

#29

Unless, of course it happens to be my personal experience you are arguing with…

That’s cool…

rolling eyes

GD

#30

If thats what you need to believe.

#31

Phoenix, No one is arguing about anyone’s personal experiences or their responses to those. Those are realities. No one is arguing or denying Mariel Lee’s or attacking her. So please do not have to try and manipulate things around to create a situation that does not exist so to get conflict going again.

Opinions are something else, they are argued day in day out in the normal scheme of life. Yes everyone has them but that does not make them all of equal value. Some are of no value at all. Most all of us value our doctors opinions on health issues over the opinions of those with no medical training. Our society allows that doctor to collect money for his opinion, but puts those others in jail if they try to collect money for a medical opinion and cross lines of practicing medicine without a license.

Mariel Lee, I am not following you. If he never loved you and the family you had together, than it would make sense that he ultimately took up with someone else. That actually implies more normal than not. You were with him for many years. You must have loved him, and I can’t help but wonder that you thought he was committed to the relationship and cared. If I understand you right, it was upon reading Sam that you decided he did not love you.

One problem with Sam is that he writes so much and covers so many bases, that almost anyone who had a failing relationship could identify with something in it all. He also plays on hurting emotions providing good rationalizations that make sense, but are not necessarily right.

#32

Now I don’t know what I should do, because PrimaDonna has pm’ed me offering to remove my given name from her posts if I remove hers from mine.

It seems like a clear case of someone who can dish it out but not take it.

I feel that if I did not know her given name to use, she would just go on crossing my boundaries and using mine to provoke me any time she felt like it and that is not acceptable to me.

As it is, I am quite sure she will go on trying to find other ways to provoke me anyway.

GD

#33

Mariel posted: I talk from my own experience. I know what Sam is saying relates to my situation.

 

Thats good enough for me.  I feel no need to question her reality or her assessment of her experience,  Thats for her to do.  And if she says she knows her own experience, then thats good enough for me.

 

I see no use in challenging her on her own experience and feelings and opinions ABOUT HER OWN LIFE.

 

Thats not creating conflict where there is none, thats me supporting her so perhaps we can neutralize the beginnings of conflict that was started by one who feels a returning need to challenge a survivor on her own experience.

 

I will say again, if you feel the need to believe I am the bad guy because I'm supporting Mariel Lee's assesment of her own life, then by all means, believe what you like.  I'm not here for you, I'm here for me, and other survivors.

 

..simple..

 

#34

Yea they are sublimely insensitive, unempathetic, malicious, insulting, manipulative, and when you blow your nose back at them, they cry like little babies that they are being victimized, and then expect us to believe that something different than that very same dynamic occurred in their relationships.

What makes it worse is that people see that and start to wonder if that is all real victims are doing too.

It’s like a world turned upside down. Where downright nastiness is portrayed as “injured innocence”.

GD

#35

Phoenix, Go back and read the posts. Please pull out where anyone challenged Mariel Lee’s experiences.

All Blixten pointed out, was that Mariel Lee disagreed with her and agreed with Sam, when in fact, Sam had plagarized Blixten. Net effect being that Mariel Lee was agreeing with Blixten, and not Sam.

That is Blixten’s personal experience that you seem to be attacking.

#36

If thats what you need to believe.

#37

Well Phoenix if you cannot find anything to substantiate your accusations, than it would be appropriate to apologize rather than continuing the insult.

Again. Please do not try and manipulate things around to create a situation that does not exist so to get conflict going again.

#38

As I keep stating, if you need to believe, when I am supporting Mariel Lee’s assesment of her own experience that I am insulting you or trying to create conflict then go ahead .

You do what you need to do.

#39

I’ll never have any problem with Mariel Lee expressing her own experience, as long as she expresses it as her own experience and not as a general law of nature.

Phoenix, twisting things around to misrepresent people and create conflict seems to come as naturally to you as breathing. I know, for myself, it’s the main reason why I dislike having any kind of dialogue with you.

GD

#40

You do what you gotta do Gaye.

#41

I am sorry, but I did not give you leave to use my given name and as you have never told me yours, I would prefer you did not.

  • My apologies Trisha, I find you DID give me your name after all…

GD

#42

You might want to go back to your earlier posts over the last few months and delete your name from them all. Not giving it out to begin with will keep this from becoming a problem in any future forums you join.

Have a nice night Gaye, GD, Blitzen, Susiejo etc.