This is ridiculous!

Agree with the demonizing and the stone throwing of those with mental illnesses.

One important reason to seek out REAL and PROPER professional help is that many of these problems can be treated, sometimes cured if the cause is properly identified. Violent behavior caused by seizure for example can be treated and controlled with medication. And if the person were really dangerous, it would be more humane that the “abuser” be confined to a mental hospital as opposed to a prison. An education from the neurologist as to the related personality problems gives their caring partner better facts upon which to make their expectations of the inflicted person more realistic.

A glass of orange juice can stop the rage of someone having a hypoglycemic attack. Works much faster than calling the police and is a heck of a lot cheaper than psychotherapy and divorce, especially if the person is the primary financial support to the family. Following a knowledgeable doctors direction on insulin and diet may in the long run, stop the problem and save the person’s life.

Parents as they age are very susceptible to dementias and Alzheimers. We do not call these people abusers, nor do we abandon them. Sure their caretakers have to become thick skinned so to speak, usually find their care quite difficult emotionally, but they not go on TV pointing their fingers at them calling them abusers.

Having facts enables one to better formulate attitudes that match those facts, and it enables one to take more responsible actions in dealing with the problems.

Mamolie,

While I would be the first to support your right to leave ANY partner you wish, for any reason you wish…because you HAVE THAT HUMAN RIGHT…

I would love to know in what way you are qualified to diagnose “these people” (most of whom you have never met and know nothing about), with anything, let alone with a disorder that doesn’t even fit the criteria you are attributing to it…

There is no excuse for playing Doctors and Nurses with the real lives of real people.

GD

There is a LOT of truth in what you are saying Susiejo.

In the event of people actually having the disorder their partner DIY diagnoses them with “because Sam Vaknin has told them it is meet and right so to do”, or even a different disorder, there is every chance that disorder can be treated.

One thing people ignore is that, unless you are pretty thoroughly disordered in some way yourself, you don’t GET that feeling in your soul that tells you THIS is “the one” without a darn good reason…

No matter WHAT evidence you see to the contrary on the surface, or in later years…

Even the most cunning of conmen doesn’t often get much further than selling you insurance unless you are a serious mess yourself…

So, if you were fairly healthy when you made the choice, if this person you chose to spend the rest of your life with suddenly seems to morph into a psychohosebeat (we could call them THAT?) it isn’t likely to be his “true colors shinin’ through” but rather a problem that may have a solution…

When you are talking about someone you once loved, don’t you want to look into what that might be?

(But yes, where there is violence CALL THE COPS…you will probably think better and more clearly while they are in a holding tank ANYWAY.)

GD

btdt100, susiejo

So we agree it is all about education, the question is how do we educate and inform the public BEFORE they find themselves in this situation? Should it be in baby books on raising children, taught in a health class, a requied high school and college class.

 btdt100, we have talked before about drug companies, because they have pills and advertise all over TV, some stigma has been taken off some of the mental illnesses. We are moving forward even if it is about making money, it has taken some of the shame away from some mental problems that people suffer with. Yes we have a way to go, but nothing like it was even 20 years ago.

Just how do we get the word out and educate everyone.

DO YOU HAVE A PLAN, TURN YOUR ANGER INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE.

                                    hugs mamolie

Mamolie,

First thing you do is stop promoting the Vakin BS, and the abuser stuff. I hardly know more than the experts, I simply am reading and learning more and more everyday from neuroscientists, and realizing more and more that what you do when you encounter such problems is to get to REAL EXPERTS. Your husband may have a perfectly normal healthy brain and body, but he may not. And the symptoms that give everyone a commonality on this board are symptoms of people who have something physically wrong with the right frontal lobes of the brain. You need neurologists with the best education and training, and tools to run tests. They will not tell you anything until they run those tests as to whether there is a neurological problem they are able to identify or not, and whether they can help it or not help.

Interesting thing I learned yesterday reading a neuroscientist was about concussions. It can be years, decades even before the effects of brain damage are noticed, and then it is never associated back to that injury. It is the family members, those intimately close to the person who frequently are the only ones who see the effects and they are mistaken for psychological problems. Often with frontal lobe injury (the most common) if the close partner does not point the problems out to the doctor, he will not know the person is affected!! This is because the frontal lobes control personality and those functions that are necessary for intimate relationships, the ones required for social functioning work fine. Everyone else thinks he is fine but you, his wife who is closest to him sees what anyone else most likely would never see anyway - dysfunction in the areas of skills for intimate relationship. Tell a doctor what you see!!

I get slapped every bit as much as I return it. And it is really only desire to “slap some sense” into people! Unsuck them from the brain fog they have fallen into, no thanks to the direction of this board. This is the 21st century which followed the 1990’s – decade of the brain. Psychology is all changing drastically and fast because of the neuroscientists.

First thing to do when one has a behavioral or psychological problem of any sort is to get to a medical doctor and rule out a host of possible medical problems. Everyone needs to know this.

Mamolie,

In my own ways, “educating people” abuser various forms of complex emotional and psychological abuse is something I have given most of my life to, and even though I am ALWAYS saying:

“Ah FECK the daft lot of ye…ye thoroughly deserve each other anyway”

I probably always will…

BUT educating people about REAL facts, REAL knowledge, REAL coping skills not promoting an exploitative agenda like Sam Vaknin’s that is several kinds of massed complex emotional and psychological abuse IN IT’S OWN RIGHT…

That only perpetuates the kind of abuses you claim to stand against (as long somebody else, not you, is on the receiving end, of course).

That is NOT education, to say the least…

GD

Then drop it.

blitzen npd-cpt6694@lists.careplace.com wrote: But we have discussed this MANY times…

Rene


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Another one.

GD