http://nodigio3.blogspot.com/2004/08/victim-mentality.html
Numenous Thoughts
Random Rants, Mostly Religious.
Friday, August 27, 2004
Victim Mentality
“Before you smack me for being of the Wica, or for having structure, or being initiated, or any of that” - is a common opening lately of many BTWs on assorted emailing lists. They use this opening even if no one has said anything about traditions, structure, clergy, or initiations.
Victim mentality. Again. It’s as if those who choose to adhere to a specific religion (usually initiatory ones) are so insecure in their beliefs they automatically feel threatened when anyone expresses a different point of view. Sometimes, the non-initiatory Pagans don’t even have to express a different point of view at all, all they have to do to say, “I’m not Wiccan” for the BTW to immediately assume victim stance, and whine about how persecuted they are because they’re initiated. No one said a thing about initiatory traditions or practices, but the BTW has to immediately mention how people always bash them because they are elitist.
No, Dear, we bash you because you’re socially inept, and you scrawl VICTIM acros your forehead, shave VICTIM into the back of your hair, hang a sign around your neck marked VICTIM, and have a sign tacked to your back that says, “Kick me, I’m a VICTIM!” on it, and you wear “What Would Victims Do” jewelry, a T-shirt that says, “I’m a VICTIM, pick on ME!”, and shoes with VICTIM carved into the tread.
We so get it that you want to feel persecuted so badly that you have to force people to notice who and what you are. You start conversations by saying “It’s not fair that we get bashed because we have structure.”
Excuse me, but what makes you think you have a stranglehold on structure? On tradition? On Mystery? You aren’t the only ones who have tradition, structure, iniations, Mysteries - and we bash you not because you have those things but because you are rude, and pushy, and hide behind “it’s a Se-e-e-cret!”. And if you (all the Gods forbid) say something intelligent, you come back and post to the list about how badly you’ve been smacked for “revealing secrets” by someone in your upline.
If we won’t let you play victim, you have to seek someone elsewhere to “smack” you (even if you have to make up a fictitious person) just so you can proudly report back to us how bad you were, and how close you came to revealing a “secret”. Oh, Puh-leeze! That is so third grade.
It’s as if these victim-wannabes can’t get enough of the damage they seek in non-Pagan venues that they’ve invaded the Pagan ones to generate the vilification they seem to thrive upon. They become defensive at the least little hint that someone might be talking about something other than Wicca or Witchcraft or being “of the Wica”. They immediately assume that if the conversation strays into “forbidden territory”, someone is trying to bait them into revealing secrets.
No, Dear, we do that because in our religions, it’s not a secret. Neither you nor your upline owns the Mysteries, and your Secrets are Secret only because you declare them so. They are clearly visible to those of us who have spent a great deal of time studying and interacting with our Divinity. If we choose to speak of our Mysteries and how we experienced them (because, in our religion, remember, it’s not secret), then, to keep your Oaths of Secrecy, you shouldn’t say anything at all, not even you sly little hints about how you know something we don’t.
But you do. And you whine about how mean we are for making you “spill the beans”.
In many ways, I see this seeking among Pagans for persecution as a positive thing - the general public no longer “smacks” people for being Pagan, or Witch. They often shrug it off. Paganism and Witchcraft have integrated so well into mainstream society, only in isolated areas is it a problem anymore[1].
So, in order for these angsty kindergoth BTWs to get their rocks off about being persecuted and oppressed, they have to go on the offensive; strike and make themselves a target for victimization. They are clearly and loudly proclaiming: “You are ignoring my big bad Witchy Self, please, please please beat me, kick me, show me I exist in your world by inflicting pain on me. If you do, you’re a big meanie poo poo head, and I can cry PERSECUTION happily, and tell me friends just how delightfully wronged I’ve been. If you don’t, well, I’ll reveal my secrets to you so my own people will trounce me for it, and I’ll get my persecution that way. Either way, I WILL be persecuted, if I have to force you to do it.”
You know, I have stopped responding individually to people who come onto emailing lists and pull this childish little stunt. It’s not worth my effort to convince you I am no threat to you because I’ve been there, done that and moved on. Being Numenist doesn’t mean I hate BTWs - and that’s exactly what all this posturing and whining says. You think I - and those like me who are also not BTW - hate you because you are BTW.
We don’t.
We are disgusted by your whining. We are disgusted by your false claims of persecution. We are disgusted by your endless efforts to attract our attention to force your point of view on us as the only real one. We are disgusted by your presumption that our religions can’t possibly un-der-sta-a-a-a-nd what real Mysteries are, and you won’t tell us, so there! We are disgusted by your blatant tricks to try to force us to make you a victim.
I’m not playing that game with you. You’ll have to find some other meanie poo poo head to call you names. I pity you. I pity your religious immaturity, and that’s as far as I’ll go.
If you want to cry and whine and moan about how “persecuted” you are, visit any Third World Country - Africa is a good one, and watch them stone women for being called a witch. That’s persecution. If you aren’t willing to see that persecution, how about spending a day among the homeless, here? Those people are persecuted - they have no homes, and because of that, they are imprisoned for vagrancy. They have no place to clean up, and because of that, people turn away from them, won’t look at them, won’t talk to them. They are hungry, and people throw away their food rather than offer it to them. That’s persecution. Or pick any Indian reservation, see how Black and White Americans force the Red Americans to live in squalor, and take away their land for pennies an acre - just because they are Red. That’s persecution.
You are spoiled. You are a pretender. Find out what real persecution is, and you’ll stop your petty whining quick enough.
[1] And I sincerely feel for them; like Dana, whose cat and parrot were brutally murdered by “loving” Christians. If you haven’t personally experienced that, then you aren’t persecuted. If it happened to a friend of a friend, you aren’t persecuted. Don’t steal their misery and try to parade it around as your own. You look stupid when you do that.
comments posted by Noddy @ 10:21 AM
