Wher are we now?Is total healing possible?

Narcissistic personality disorder
#81

Angiezee Have you read the book Help I’m in love with a narcissist? I think thats the name.I’m off work now for a couple of weeks and thought maby I’d read it and then again maby I’ll just chill from all of this.Just wondered if you knew of the book

#82

I have heard of it and have thought about getting it. Sam’s book as well. And I understand what you are saying. I’ve been to Borders and spent hours reading books - I’ve spent countless hours on different websites researching, delving and obsessing over this subject - I written my hand numb in my journals. But now, I think I have gotten to the point where I’ve had my fill of attempting to understand this illness. I needed to do the research in order to realize that I cannot change him - I cannot help him - I still love him, but it doesn’t matter. I love my kids, my life and my sanity more. I have now stopped reading the other websites - I have now stopped the incessant journaling - I have now stopped the analyzing and the replaying of every situation - I’ve stopped the blame game I played with myself. I have even cut back the amount of time I spend here - but, this is a place that I cannot and will not leave - because this place is about SUPPORT and HEALING me - not the negativity of “understanding” and coping with him. I know that we all need the time to come when we can wean ourselves away from this site because we don’t NEED it anymore - hopefully, we all stay in touch because we WANT to though - that is true mental and spiritual health.

#83

None of these - except lack of empathy - are criteria for diagnosing NPD.
Only the antisocial Personality disorder (psychopathy) has been firmly
associated with particular brain structures and electrochemical patterns.

I advise you to refresh your knowledge about NPD - or, indeed, acquire it
for the first time - by clicking on these links:

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/1.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/npdglance.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq82.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faqpd.html

Sam

----- Original Message -----
From: “btdt100” npd-cpt5805@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Saturday, September 08, 2007 9:33 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Wher are we now?Is total healing possible?

#84

Narcissism, Substance Abuse, and Reckless Behaviors

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal66.html

Some narcissists are alcoholics, but not all of them and not even a majority
of them. Alcoholism is not one of the diagnostic criteria of NPD.

As btdt says, there is strong correlative evidence connecting alcoholism to
genetic and brain problems. But it has nothing to do with NPD.

Sam

----- Original Message -----
From: “btdt100” npd-cpt5805@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Saturday, September 08, 2007 11:38 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Wher are we now?Is total healing possible?

#85

Sam,

All the characteristics I listed are being described by people here on this board, including references to alcohol problems. I do not see you suggesting to them that they are not dealing with NPD - rather you are promoting the sale of your book to them. Alcohol does not have to be abused to cause brain damage. Nor does it have to be currently in use for damage to have occurred.

Pathological lying is not a criteria but it is generally accepted that most all pathological liars are NPDs. You yourself draw the correlations to psychopathic behaviors. Are you suggesting that NPDs rages have nothing to do with impulse control?

You are incorrect as to antisocial PD being the only one linked to physiological problems. Borderline is getting it heavy right now. As the following states, it (as all the PD’s) are better thought of in terms of dimensions. All the criteria in the DSM represent behaviors and behaviors only. For NPD, there are 9, only 5 have to be met, and that is based on the subjective opinion of who ever is providing the diagnosis. There is considerable meshing of behaviors within all the Axis II disorders so how in the world can you intelligently acknowledge antisocial has been tied but that has no relevance to any of the others including NPD?

“http://www.springerlink.com/content/9j430xh741336317/
Abstract Within the past several years, research on the clinical phenomena and neurobiology of borderline personality disorder has increased substantially. Borderline personality disorder is currently best thought of in terms of dimensions rather than as a categorical disorder. This article reviews the most recent findings on two of the core dimensions— affective dysregulation and impulsivity. Most of the neuropsychologic, physiologic, endocrinologic, and neuroimaging data support the theory that a dual brain pathology, affecting prefrontal and limbic circuits, may underlie this hyperarousal-dyscontrol syndrome.”

Acquire knowledge on NPD from your writings? What credentials do you have besides having such problems yourself? Narcissistic supply? Malignant narcissism? A bit grandiose for me. The DSM describes your work sufficiently:

http://www.behavenet.com/capsules/disorders/narcissisticpd.htm
“A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)”

#86

Btdt,

I am sorry that you are in a bad spot right now but I really cannot provide
you with a personal seminar on NPD. Sporadic links gleaned through Google
are not a substitute for methodical knowledge which you sorely lack.

I believe that we have exhausted the subject (and you have definitely
exhausted everyone on this list…:o))

I wish you complete healing. I will not be responding to your further
messages on this topic, though you are welcome to post on other topics.

Sam

----- Original Message -----
From: “btdt100” npd-cpt5805@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Sunday, September 09, 2007 4:46 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Wher are we now?Is total healing possible?

#87

Mr. Varkin,

How narcissistic can your mind be to think I would have any interest in a personal seminar from you on any subject, especially narcissism. Sale your book to other fools.

#88

I am soooooooo. done with all of this!DELETE

#89

(laughing)

Vaknin, not Varkin. You got my name wrong - could it be that getting things
wrong is your forte? LOL

Why resort to other fools if I have you?

Just kidding.

Listen, cool your heels. There are some pretty good medicines out there.

I wish you complete healing.

Sam

----- Original Message -----
From: “btdt100” npd-cpt5805@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Sunday, September 09, 2007 5:44 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Wher are we now?Is total healing possible?

#90

Of course you are kidding Sam because the point has already been made that I will not be buying your book. Nor will I be providing you Narcissistic Supply. Isn’t that your term? Or did you steal that one along with Malignant Narcissism?

So grand scheme to hit on poor ladies on the internet who are confused about what they have experienced with people they are closely intimately involved in. And how much have you made from it so far?

Care to elucidate more on your own credentials? How many years exactly did you serve? Care to inform all of your past crimes? So yes you are an expert on being a psychopath.

That does not mean you are an expert on ANYTHING else besides exploiting people. being a Narcissist by your own definition and not that of the DSM.

#91

You kids knock it off or I’m turning this car around!

Rene

----- Original Message ----
From: btdt100 npd-cpt5805@lists.careplace.com
To: descartes326@yahoo.com
Sent: Sunday, September 9, 2007 6:16:43 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Wher are we now?Is total healing possible?

#92

Where are you going to go Mercenary - there is no running from reality of life except into fantasy world.

#93
#94

Me too. I thought this site was meant to be supportive not a vehicle for self serving sermonising. Do we have a moderator to cull all this drivel?
mrs

----- Original Message ----
From: maryb2100 npd-cpt5805@lists.careplace.com
To: mfc_mary@yahoo.com.au
Sent: Monday, 10 September, 2007 1:47:57 AM
Subject: Re: [npd] Wher are we now?Is total healing possible?

#95

Oh lighten up - it was meant to be a tongue-in-cheek commentary on how strident the tone of this discussion is becoming :slight_smile:

Rene

----- Original Message ----
From: btdt100 npd-cpt5805@lists.careplace.com
To: descartes326@yahoo.com
Sent: Sunday, September 9, 2007 6:49:32 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Wher are we now?Is total healing possible?

#96

(laughing)

Narcissists as Drama Queens

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4948

The Narcissist as Know-it-all

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4945

Sam
----- Original Message -----
From: “neednewstart” npd-cpt5805@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Monday, September 10, 2007 2:08 AM
Subject: Re: [npd] Wher are we now?Is total healing possible?

#97

The Serious Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq52.html

Transformations of Aggression

http://samvak.tripod.com/aggression.html

The Self-Deprecating Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/selfdeprecation.html

OFFERED WITH A SMILE …:o))

Sam

----- Original Message -----
From: “mercenary” npd-cpt5805@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Monday, September 10, 2007 5:19 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Wher are we now?Is total healing possible?

#98

My own opinion—ahem—

Yes Sam is a N. (as he would agree since he is a self admitted N) which could make him an easy target when one is hurt and angry at our own N’s, I do believe that anyone who has read his posts on Dr. Irene’s website (where I discovered him) or any other place would have to admit his writings have given us all an insight of the innerworkings of a N’s mind.

I will be the first to thank Sam-whatever his motivations might be-because of his writings (that he posts for FREE people) I KNEW and KNOW I am not crazy/making stuff up/exaggerating/too sensitive etc etc. Because of Sam’s writings, I was able to make sense of a WAY bizarre situation and not feel as if I was truly losing my mind.

So…whatever your main motivation is Sam, I really don’t care. I just say hats off to you for being brave enough to pour out so much information so that the victims if N personalities can learn to heal and get through the day.

I personally am one of those people who have to have information and some kind of understanding about what is hurting me in order to heal. And Sam helped to provide that.

That’s not to say I agree with everything you say Sam :stuck_out_tongue: But I don’t know of anyone who agrees with everything anyone says.

Again thanks Sam for your valuable information that has helped to give me the tools to heal and understand the situation I (and my husband for that matter) are in.

#99

Thank you for your kind words!

I am not angry at victims who attack me because I know that they are hurting
inside and I am the easiest, most immediately accessible target.

All my work, without a single exception, has been made available online AT
NO CHARGE since 1997. People who want to support my work purchase my books.
But you don’t have to buy my books in order to gain UNLIMITED access online
and at no charge to everything I have ever written. It’s all yours for the
reading, no strings attached.

Search my Web site here:

http://samvak.tripod.master.com/texis/master/search/mysite.html

Thematic subject Index of the Web site - here:

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/siteindex.html

http://www.geocities.com/samvaknin/siteindex.html

Take care there!

Sam

My Web site contains more than 1400 pages.

Click on the links below to navigate to your desired destination.

You can search my Web site here (simply type any word or phrase and press
go):

http://samvak.tripod.master.com/texis/master/search/mysite.html

Thematic subject Index of the Web site - click on either of these links:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/siteindex.html

http://www.geocities.com/samvaknin/siteindex.html

These are the entry points and the gateways to the content on my Web site:

My home page

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/

About my work and my media kit

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/cv.html

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/indexqa.html

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about pathological narcissism and abusive
relationships

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about personality disorders

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faqpd.html

Questions and Answers (Q&A) about pathological narcissism and abusive
relationships

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/indexqa.html

Abuse, abusers, and how to cope with them

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse.html

Spousal and domestic abuse and violence and how to cope with them

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abusefamily.html

Join the Narcissistic Abuse list

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/narclist.html

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/

The Toxic Relationships Study List

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/toxicrelationships

Abusive Relationships Newsletter

http://groups.google.com/group/narcissisticabuse/

Excerpts from my various study lists and discussion groups

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/archive01.html

Poetry of Healing and Abuse

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/contents.html

Short Fiction

http://gorgelink.org/vaknin/

http://samvak.tripod.com/sipurim.html

Download free e-books and anthologies

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/freebooks.html

Cyclopedia of Links and Factoids

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/factoidsindex.html

Join the Link and Factoid Study List

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/linknfactoid/

World in Conflict and Transition - political and economic columns

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/guide.html

United Press International (UPI) archive

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/briefs.html

Digital Content and Web Technologies

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/busiweb.html

Articles and essays about the Internet and cyberculture

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/internet.html

Join the Conflict and Transition Study List

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/conflictransition/

Philosophical Musings and Essays

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/culture.html

Moral Deliberations in Modern Cinema

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/film.html

Enjoy!

Sam

----- Original Message -----
From: “dadffodeal” npd-cpt5805@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Monday, September 10, 2007 6:36 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Wher are we now?Is total healing possible?

#100

Thank you for your kind words, dadffodeal (scroll to the bottom to read
dadffodeal’s message to the group).

I am not angry at victims who attack me because I know that they are hurting
inside and I am the easiest, most immediately accessible target.

All my work, without a single exception, has been made available online AT
NO CHARGE since 1997. People who want to support my work purchase my books.
But you don’t have to buy my books in order to gain UNLIMITED access online
and at no charge to everything I have ever written. It’s all yours for the
reading, no strings attached.

Search my Web site here:

http://samvak.tripod.master.com/texis/master/search/mysite.html

Thematic subject Index of the Web site - here:

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/siteindex.html

http://www.geocities.com/samvaknin/siteindex.html

Take care there!

Sam

My Web site contains more than 1400 pages.

Click on the links below to navigate to your desired destination.

You can search my Web site here (simply type any word or phrase and press
go):

http://samvak.tripod.master.com/texis/master/search/mysite.html

Thematic subject Index of the Web site - click on either of these links:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/siteindex.html

http://www.geocities.com/samvaknin/siteindex.html

These are the entry points and the gateways to the content on my Web site:

My home page

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/

About my work and my media kit

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/cv.html

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/indexqa.html

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about pathological narcissism and abusive
relationships

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about personality disorders

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faqpd.html

Questions and Answers (Q&A) about pathological narcissism and abusive
relationships

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/indexqa.html

Abuse, abusers, and how to cope with them

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse.html

Spousal and domestic abuse and violence and how to cope with them

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abusefamily.html

Join the Narcissistic Abuse list

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/narclist.html

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/

The Toxic Relationships Study List

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/toxicrelationships

Abusive Relationships Newsletter

http://groups.google.com/group/narcissisticabuse/

Excerpts from my various study lists and discussion groups

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/archive01.html

Poetry of Healing and Abuse

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/contents.html

Short Fiction

http://gorgelink.org/vaknin/

http://samvak.tripod.com/sipurim.html

Download free e-books and anthologies

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/freebooks.html

Cyclopedia of Links and Factoids

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/factoidsindex.html

Join the Link and Factoid Study List

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/linknfactoid/

World in Conflict and Transition - political and economic columns

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/guide.html

United Press International (UPI) archive

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/briefs.html

Digital Content and Web Technologies

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/busiweb.html

Articles and essays about the Internet and cyberculture

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/internet.html

Join the Conflict and Transition Study List

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/conflictransition/

Philosophical Musings and Essays

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/culture.html

Moral Deliberations in Modern Cinema

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/film.html

Enjoy!

Sam

----- Original Message -----
From: “dadffodeal” npd-cpt5805@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Monday, September 10, 2007 6:36 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Wher are we now?Is total healing possible?