I believe my husband has a narcissistic personality disorder and I am interested in learning how to deal with him.
I’m 51 and just got my teaching credential three years ago. I transferred to a new school last year. My 25-year-old marriage was going through a rough spot and I developed a “crush” on another teacher. (41 and never married) I knew many people thought he was somewhat strange, outspoken, and downright obnoxious, but I attributed some of his misbehavior to the fact that he was an immigrant who’d been raised in a boarding school. We both shared an interest in art and for three months, he sought out my company. We painted a mural together, saw movies, practiced salsa dancing, and he helped me get my car fixed. I was both entranced and put off by his behavior. He admitted he was a seminar junkie (endless self-help, goddess workshops and even a “cuddling workshop.”) and would act like he was interested in me, but then talk about his other “girlfriends.” He spoke sometimes very explicitly about sexual matters, but at no time came on to me although he seemed to enjoy teasing me. That would indicate he’s a cerebal narcissist, but I know he frequents voyeur sites and off color sexual remarks repeatedly. He’s also obsessed with how good looking he is (not really).Each one of his “girlfriends” had some physical ailment that made her ultimately unsuitable or he was constantly pursuing women who made it clear they wanted nothing to do with him. I tended to listen to his wild fantasies without telling him what I really thought because to be honest I enjoyed the attention. Although it occurred to me he was a narcissist (as a teacher, I’m very familiar with the DSM!), i wanted to be THE ONE WOMAN he could count on. On June 1, he came to my house, met my husband, and saw that I lived quite well (he’s obsessed with money schemes) he seemed downright envious and depressed. The last three weeks of school, he ran hot and cold. I’ve read and reread
Sam Vankin’s book, Malignant Self-Love and know that he got under my skin. Fortunately, I have a close friend who is also a teacher and she’s been very patient, but I have a need or desire to talk to women who’ve experienced first hand what I went through. I look really young for my age and most people think this guy is older than me so I have to admit that I was perplexed by his lack of physical interest in me when I was so attracted to him. Now that I’ve read how narcissists only have sex with “whores,” I wonder if he didn’t want reduce me to that. But then I’m projecting actual human emotions onto him. He’ll be working in a different building next year and we are on different schedules so I have the summer to get over this but right now I’m going through withdrawal. My husband has been very supportive and after he read the book he understood more clearly how I got sucked into this situation.
This is WAY TO LONG to be an introduction, but it feels good to vent.
Jan
Want to learn about the Narcissist in my life.
I have sadly been in an abusive relationship with a boyfriend who is a narcissist for 5 years, I left a Doctor who was most likely passive aggressive but not half as bad as the “N”,I left him for this man and it’s the biggest mistake of my life. I have lost all sense of my self and my self-esteem is at the lowest I have ever known. My Insurance doesn’t have one on one counseling. I’d like to talk to someone about the regret and getting ready to leave him for the second time, and prepare for the fallout We don’t live together, but if I don’t answer the cell he will berate me for hours on what he imagines I am doing behind his back. The first time I left him he ran away and claimed to be in rehab but before he left he went on a smear campaign with my Doctors, my parents you name it. I am told I am beautiful and could “get” anyone I chose, but I feel horrible about the choice I made and what I have allowed myself and my children to see this man do to me. I am ashamed, but I always thought it would get better. All my friends are gone and sick of the crazy but true stories. I am a little afraid he may do something worse this time around when he realizes I will be starting NC starting as of last night. I feel I have ruined my life and if I could go back to my old life I would in a minute if I could. I want out from his wrath and grip. And then you know, when you are gone a while he comes around around treating me like a queen and buying me small gifts or making big false promises. The lies are the worst. I can’t tell anymore what’s truth or a lie. This is a living nightmare! I want my creative beautiful self back, I miss her. As do my kids!
Just left a relationship with n
Dealing with NPD in a boyfriend
I have been severly negatively affected by a person who may have NPD and would like to discuss it and get advice/share experiences.
My mother has NPD and after multiple tries at having a relationship with her I’m finally ready to say “no more”. It’s painful to realize that your mother is not capable of a normal relationship. One in which there is give and take. Not “I’ll give to you as long as you’re worthy” Then the worthyness changes on a daily basis. Sick. I need to get off the rollercoaster.
Hi Im Susan, Ive been married to a covert narcissist for 27 years and he left 3 years ago. Through personal friends and HIS business associates and a psychiatrist revealed to me of his condition. I’m now divorcing him and his is manipulating my children 22,20, and 15 years into believing I am crazy, lazy, and not a good mother. He knows being a stay home was what we agreed on but he recently told me that all these years he worked his f…ing ass off and I did nothing… I said I stayed home with the kids and he replied “SO WHAT!!!” I need help to get my kids back. Thank you for your support.
I am a 45 YO male who has just figured out that my once beloved wife is indeed a narcissist. The signs have been there from the beginning of our 7 and a half year marriage, but somehow I overlooked them. In the past few months she has gone from sweet and somewhat lazy & manipulative to downright evil. I want to learn more about this horrible condition.
my ex boyfriend is a Narcissist - I just realized it. I’ve been trying to work it out with him. I love him and want him to heal - but realize I can’t heal him.
Am Male 52 yrs old , married fot hte last 28 yrs to a woman who has been diagonised as BPD.
Would like to know more about it as it has affected me and my children in nagative manner
I HAVE ALOT OF MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS THAT RUN IN MY FAMILY. I BELIEVE THAT NPD IS THE MAIN PROBLEM .I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT IT AND HOW TO LIVE WITH FAMILY MEMBERS IN REASONABLE PEACE.
Hello, I’m a stay at home mom of one. I recently identified that my father-in-law has NPD. It is severely affecting my marriage and my life. I have no solutions to his overwhelming influence in our lives. I want to learn how to take back my life.
I would love to meet with others with NPD n-laws and share stories and offer support.
JUST DIVORCED MY HUSBAND OF 9 YEARS, I SUSPECT HE IS NPD. I am Christian and so was he i thought. he is currently searching for a foreign bride because i was so horrible i caused him to give up on american women.
i am in the middle of a divorce with a NP and am on other forums to get advice
I am a mother of 3 children going through a very bad divorce with a NPD. I am interested in any suggestions/recommendations on what I can do to help myself as well as my children through this. I am interested in speaking with someone else like me who has been victimized by a NPD.
I have an ex-wife with NPD which is affecting kids and me both.
I deal with a couple of narcissistic people who are a very important part of my life. I would like to figure out how to deal with them
So much to leanr, so many questions, in need of healing support. Currently divorcing an N.