Gaye diagnoses herself with another disorder every week. I wouldn’t trust
these self-diagnoses if I were you (laughing).
Narcissists are afraid of intimacy and commitment.
Click on these links are read the articles:
It is an established fact that abuse - verbal, psychological, emotional,
physical, and sexual - co-occurs with intimacy. Most reported offenses are
between intimate partners and between parents and children. This defies
common sense. Emotionally, it should be easier to batter, molest, assault,
or humiliate a total stranger. It’s as if intimacy CAUSES abuse, incubates
and nurtures it.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/intimacyabuse.html
Intimacy Retarding Paranoia
Paranoia is use by the narcissist to ward off or reverse intimacy. The
narcissist is threatened by intimacy because it reduces him to ordinariness
by exposing his weaknesses and shortcomings and by causing him to act
"normally". The narcissist also dreads the encounter with his deep buried
emotions - hurt, envy, anger, aggression - likely to be foisted on him in an
intimate relationship.
The paranoid narrative legitimizes intimacy repelling behaviours such as
keeping one’s distance, secrecy, aloofness, reclusion, aggression, intrusion
on privacy, lying, desultoriness, itinerancy, unpredictability, and
idiosyncratic or eccentric reactions. Gradually, the narcissist succeeds to
alienate and wear down all his friends, colleagues, well-wishers, and mates.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/journal60.html
The narcissist does his damnedest to avoid intimacy. He constantly lies
about every aspect of his life: his self, his history, his vocations and
avocations, and his emotions. This false data guarantee his informative
lead, asymmetry, or “advantage” in his relationships. It fosters
disintimisation. It casts a pall of cover up, separateness, mystery over the
narcissist’s affairs.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/narcissismintimacy.html
The narcissist divides all women to saints and whores. He finds it difficult
to have sex (“dirty”, “forbidden”, “punishable”, “degrading”) with feminine
significant others (spouse, intimate girlfriend). To him, sex and intimacy
are mutually exclusive rather than mutually expressive propositions.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/faq79.html
People with Personality Disorders (PDs) are very afraid of real, mature,
intimacy. Intimacy is formed not only within a couple, but also in a
workplace, in a neighborhood, with friends, while collaborating on a
project. Intimacy is another word for emotional involvement, which is the
result of interactions with others in constant and predictable (safe)
propinquity.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/faq69.html
Narcissists have no interest in emotional or even intellectual stimulation
by significant others. Such feedback is perceived as a threat. Significant
others in the narcissist’s life have very clear roles: the accumulation and
dispensation of past Primary Narcissistic Supply in order to regulate
current Narcissistic Supply. Nothing less but definitely nothing more.
Proximity and intimacy breed contempt. A process of devaluation is in full
operation throughout the life of the relationship.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/faq80.html
Inevitably, the sexuality of patients with personality disorders is thwarted
and stunted. In the Paranoid Personality Disorder, sex is depersonalized and
the sexual partner is dehumanized. The paranoid is besieged by persecutory
delusions and equates intimacy with life-threatening vulnerability, a
"breach in the defenses" as it were. the paranoid uses sex to reassure
himself that he is still in control and to quell is anxiety.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders47.html
http://samvak.tripod.master.com/texis/master/search/?q=approach-avoidance
Question:
What is the mechanism behind the cycles of over-valuation (idealization) and
devaluation in the narcissist’s life?
Answer:
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/devaluationidealization.html
Thus, paradoxically, the worst his anguish and unhappiness, the more
relieved and elated such an abuser feels! He is “liberated” and "unshackled"
by his own self-initiated abandonment, he insists. He never really wanted
this commitment, he tells any willing (or buttonholed) listener - and
anyhow, the relationship was doomed from the beginning by the egregious
excesses and exploits of his wife (or partner or friend or boss).
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse14.html
Thus, on the one hand, the narcissist feels that his freedom depends upon
re-enacting these early experiences. On the other hand, he is terrified by
this prospect. Realizing that he is doomed to go through the same traumas
over and over again, the narcissist distances himself by using his
aggression to alienate, to humiliate and in general, to be emotionally
absent.
This behavior brings about the very consequence that the narcissist so
fears - abandonment. But, this way, at least, the narcissist is able to tell
himself (and others) that HE was the one who fostered the separation, that
it was fully his choice and that he was not surprised. The truth is that,
governed by his internal demons, the narcissist has no real choice. The
dismal future of his relationships is preordained.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/faq4.html
In his quest to find new sources, he again embarks on ego-mending bouts of
sex, followed by the selection of a spouse or a mate (a Secondary
Narcissistic Supply Source). Then the cycle re-commence: a sharp drop in
sexual activity, emotional absence and cruel detachment leading to
abandonment.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/faq29.html
----- Original Message -----
From: “PrimaDonna” npd-cpt7103@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Saturday, December 15, 2007 11:52 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] SAM’S DAILY LINK Sex and Personality Disorders
